Amidst this tender chaos, a heartbreaking conflict unfolds between the new parents. As the family prepares for the magical first meeting between siblings, the father’s priorities clash painfully with the mother’s urgent need for support. His desire to leave early for a football game shatters the fragile unity they need most, exposing the raw vulnerability and isolation she faces in this most critical moment.
My husband (27M) and myself (26F) have welcomed our beautiful new baby girl to the world on Monday evening just before midnight. She was 6 weeks early, and will need 5/6 days support in the neonatal unit, with me being an inpatient with her.
We have an almost 3 year old at home.
When I went into labour on Monday, we dropped my toddler off with my mum, who watched her over night on the Monday night and all of Tuesday. On Tuesday evening, my mum was going to bring our toddler into the hospital at 6pm for them to meet and for us to witness our children meeting for the first time.
When I told my husband, he told me he needs to leave the hospital by 5pm to make it in time for the football game. I told him he has his daughter tonight, and don’t know how he’s going to manage to go to the game?
He told me he assumed my mum would be watching our daughter, and he would go to the game. I told him he is her father, and we don’t have any other option as I am in the hospital. He argued with me, the day after a horrific labour, on and on and on, and continuously pushed the motion that he wanted to go to the game.
I was in complete shock that he was willing to give up the opportunity to see his daughter after a few days, and the opportunity to see his daughters meet each other, and would rather be at a game than support me post natal.
For context, he is back at work today (Wednesday) and is now not off work until Saturday and my mum is having our toddler for the next 4 days (my husband works 9am – 1am). I feel awful her watching her for this long, so assumed when my husband was available to take her for the evening, we would jump at the opportunity to give my parents a break rather than expect yet another night from her so my OH can go to a stupid random football game that is not important.
I broke down, and told him how hurt I was, and he stubbornly stuck to his point. I have been alone in this hospital bed all day, he text me at 9am to ask who is collecting my daughter from nursery, asked how our baby was and has not contacted me since.
It’s now 5pm.
I feel robbed of some beautiful moments in my life, and hurt from his actions. And now just lonely. I don’t think he genuinely sees my point of view at all, AITA?
Conclusion
The original poster is deeply hurt and feels abandoned by her husband immediately following the birth of their premature daughter, especially as she remains hospitalized and alone. The central conflict is the husband’s choice to prioritize attending a football game over being present for crucial first meetings between his two children and supporting his wife post-labor, demonstrating a severe clash between his perceived obligations to leisure and his immediate family responsibilities.
Is the husband’s desire to attend a planned social event more important than his immediate presence and emotional support for his wife and newborn during a stressful hospital stay, or is the wife being overly demanding given the temporary childcare arrangements already in place?
Here’s how people reacted:
But don’t feel robbed. Anyone that was prioritizing a football game wasn’t exactly going to be bringing the cherished memories to the table. Let’s just say you missed out on a lot of watching him sleep, complain about his lack of comfort, his ability to stream the game… you get the idea. Not exactly exuding warmth, and probably a missed argument or two.
This whole story isn’t true.
If I were you I would contact lawyer. Your “husband” doesn’t respect you and if he would love you he would take care of you – at least that is my logic.
Why are you married to him?
Even if you hadn’t given birth prematurely, what kind of guy plans to a sporting event when his wife is heavily pregnant?
NTA
But…
I love football (european football) and always felt sick when I was not able to go to a match or worse if I could not see the match of my team at all.
I have missed games for special events if there was no other way but I would have done everything for my husband to go and see his game if it was important for him, even if it was inconvinient for me. But that is just me.
I’d make plans with your mom for you and your daughters to stay with her when you’re discharged. He wants the single, no responsibilities life, let him have it. Better yet, if your mom is able to stay at your home with you and support you there, tell him he can pack a bag and get out.
Congratulations on baby girl 💗❤️💗 Xx
But there was an obvious solution that would have worked perfectly.
He could have gone to the game and taken his daughter with him!
He did not just start being a douchebag and a prick when you went into labor.
This cannot be the first time he’s been an AH. Why did you make two babies with him?
It will either
A. Fix his attitude
B. Speed up the divorce