When their worlds collide at a family gathering, the raw tension between her cold aversion to children and his protective instincts threatens to unravel the fragile thread holding their relationship together. In that charged moment, the true test of love and acceptance emerges, laying bare the complexities behind youthful rebellion and the harsh realities it can conceal.
I (18m) have been dating my gf (19) for about four months. We met on instagram, I followed her for a while and she has a real grunge/edgy aestehtic going on. I thought she was super hot and cool, and when we started going out she was basically also a really edgy person.
She makes the occasional cringey edgelord comment about hating people and how life was sooooo much better in the 80s (when she wasn’t even alive), which cringes me out but whatever, it’s manageable.
However, she also has an immense hate for kids and babies. Whenever kids get near her she gives them dirty looks and moves away or groans. She has a four year old sister, and she won’t even sit on the same sofa as her, giving excuses like “she’s dirty”, “kids are all feral” and so on, just ridiculous shit you say when you’re 13 and in your emo phase, not 19.
Recently, she came to a family party at my parent’s house and long story short, she ended up alone in a room with my sister (who is a new mom and is only 16) and, because of her social anxiety she was ‘too afraid of seeming rude’ to say no, but she ended up holding my sister’s baby while she was in the middle of changing a diaper.
As soon as my sister leaves the room to grab a new diaper, my girlfriend put the baby down on the couch, getting shit on the couch and shouting for someone to come take care of the ‘gremlin’.
This really annoyed me, I get that she doesn’t like kids and that she doesn’t want to be near them, but she doesn’t have to be so rude and obnoxious about it. If she didn’t want to hold the baby, she should have said no or got someone else.
She just seems to think that kids should instinctively know to keep away from her.
Also at the party, she moved away from my five year old cousin when he sat next to her to eat some cake, and when asked to pass the baby’s blanket to my sister, she pinched it with two fingers and flicked it over.
On the way home, I told her it’s ridiculous she acts this way and she basically said something along the lines of “kids are disgusting, they’re entitled and dumb can’t see the world for what it really is”.
I told her not everything has to fit her stupid edgy narrative, and she thinks I’m an asshole.
Conclusion
The Original Poster (OP) is experiencing significant conflict because his girlfriend’s strong, negative attitude toward children clashes with the reality of being around family, especially his young sister who is a new mother. The OP feels his girlfriend acts inappropriately rude and immature regarding children, while she maintains that her extreme dislike is justified by her perception of children as generally ‘disgusting’ and ‘entitled.’
The central question is whether the girlfriend’s intense aversion to children justifies her overtly rude behavior in social settings, particularly around family, or if the OP is right to insist that basic courtesy and boundary setting should override her need to express her ‘edgy’ disdain for minors.
Here’s how people reacted:
You for continuing to date her despite the fact that you obviously don’t like her viewpoint. She’s allowed to dislike children, and though you didn’t give much information, I get the impression from this that she grew up very pressured to act traditionally female and this is part of her way of rebelling from that. A lot of girls end up just hating kids because family or adults sit there and push the fact that they HAVE to like kids because they’re girls on them. She’s taking it to an extreme and immature level and the way you phrased it probably isn’t helping the matter.
Her for getting shit on the couch and being overly dramatic about being around kids.
She should’ve politely refused instead of throwing a tantrum, but making guests help you change your shit-covered baby’s diaper is also fucking rude.
Also, you’re an asshole because you knew she hates children, you brought her to a party full of children, and got upset because she got upset. It’s also clear that your family has some different values from her since you guys start making babies at 16 and ‘don’t get how to go through life never having to deal with children’. You really should be looking for someone who’s more in line with that and not just ‘hot’ while you treat her personality as ‘whatever, it’s manageable’.
With that said she doesn’t have to be such a bitch about it.
Most of your post is irrelevant to the only thing she did wrong. All you had to write was “My girlfriend put a baby down after voluntarily holding it and got shit on our couch”. The shit on the couch is the only thing that makes her an asshole, otherwise she’s fine.
So yeah, you’d be an asshole if you “tell my girlfriend her hate for babies is pathetic and doesn’t make her cool or edgy”. If you don’t like her, don’t date her. Why do you care how she feels about babies?
That being said, I don’t act like a dick about it. She definitely did.
I would have moved away from a kid who was eating cake, but I would never set a poopy baby on a couch or act like a baby blanket is some sort of radioactive spider that you can’t be bothered to touch.
She’s definitely an asshole. You can dislike children without acting like one yourself.
>She makes the occasional cringey edgelord comment…which cringes me out but whatever, it’s manageable.
When you date someone solely based on how they look – even when you don’t like them as a person – this is what you get.
Edit because I don’t wanna sound unjustifiably mean: Obviously I don’t know her and I can’t pass judgement on her character as a whole. But that’s just the impression I got from OP. If she’s really as much of an edgelord as OP says, then that sounds kinda toxic.
She acts incredibly overwhelming with her opinion, but you’re mad at her for not being able to tell your family no? I imagine that if she said no, you would still be annoyed with her. She has a right to dislike children, even if she is annoying about it. It doesn’t sound like you really like her all that much.
You just told us that you’re shallow and dating her because she’s “super hot”. You’re still with her for that reason im assuming because she sounds dumb as a brick and extremely edgy.