The story unfolds in the quiet tension between compassion and accountability, where the line between empathy and enabling blurs. It’s a raw glimpse into the challenges of leadership, the weight of responsibility, and the silent battles fought behind the scenes in a place where every role, no matter how small, is vital to the whole.
I manage and co-own a company that makes soaps, lotions, etc. We only sell locally and online so we work out of a pretty small warehouse with a store front. I only have 9 employees.
Since we work in a small warehouse, much of the cleaning duty falls on them. Nobody minds it. The only complaint that I get is that about eco friendly products.
We rotate chores so nobody gets stuck doing what they hate. This system has worked out the entire three years we have been open.
My last hire hates doing any of the cleaning. She has a pattern that I’ve noticed. Any day that requires her to clean bathrooms/take out trash she makes sure to talk about how anxious she is and how her stomach hurts, and she can’t focus.
She often ends up laying down or going into a dark room to relax.
At first I did the stuff for her because I felt bad, but after I noticed what she was doing, I told her she had to trade with one of her coworkers. She usually got someone to do the cleaning for her.
Friday was her day to do the trash and sort out recycling. When I went to go tell her to do it she was already sitting in the dark in our break room. I asked her to go take care of the trash, she said she couldn’t because she was on the verge of a panic attack.
I asked her if she asked another coworker to do it, she said none of them agreed to do it.
I told her that she could take a minute to calm down but she needed to get it done. She said that there was no way she could do it. I told her to go ahead and clock out then. She asked me why, and said that she had 5 hours left in the day.
I told her to clock out if she can’t do her job. She got very angry and said that I had to provide reasonable accommodations for her disability. I told her that self diagnosed anxiety isn’t a disability, so she can do her job or leave.
She quit, threatened a lawsuit, and walked out. When we returned to work on Tuesday (today), I noticed a couple of employees were a bit cold to me. The other ones were very eager to show me the unfavorable posts that their former coworker had made on social media over the weekend.
They think I should apologize to her and make her go away (they’re afraid it will cause us to lose business and cut hours).
I can tell that some employees are upset about my behavior. I’m not sure how to feel about how it went down, so I’m curious who a third party would think is the asshole in this situation.
Conclusion
The business owner experienced a direct conflict when an employee refused to complete a rotating chore, claiming anxiety prevented her from taking out the trash. The owner felt the employee was manipulating the system and ultimately sent her home, leading to the employee quitting and threatening legal action.
Was the business owner justified in refusing to provide further accommodation for a chore that was part of the established job rotation, or did they fail in their responsibility to address a potentially legitimate health concern regarding an employee’s job duties?
Here’s how people reacted:
I have anxiety. Actually, I’m diagnosed bipolar with psychotic features and severe anxiety. My disorder is currently under control, and I’m doing fine, but I have been in the hospital with panic attacks in the past. Unless she can provide documentation that she has a diagnosed anxiety disorder, she has no legal case over you. So that’s out of the way.
Knowing my disorder, I don’t expect anyone to accommodate me if I can’t complete my daily tasks. My job involves caring for elderly people. If I was unable to do my job, I wouldn’t expect my employer to accommodate me – it’s not fair to pawn off work onto other people just so I can hold the same position. If this was going to be a problem, she should’ve warned you and tried to work it out with you ahead of time, but instead she simply refuses to perform that part of her job, which is completely unacceptable.
It would be one thing if this was a small part of her job, but it sounds like cleaning is one of her main job duties. If she can’t handle it, she needs to go find a job that suits her. End of story.
Part of the growing stigma toward people like me has to do with us demanding that people bend over backwards to accommodate us. We are responsible for our own disorders. We need to find our own coping mechanisms and we need to figure out a way to find a job that works for us. Her attitude is really harmful for people who have mental health disorders.
I always carried a small essential oil roll-on in my pocket, so that when it was my turn to clean the computers, I would swipe the roll on under my nose. This temporarily blocked the scent of rubbing alcohol, so I could do my job properly.
I’m sympathetic to anxiety, but this is part of her job. If she provided a doctor’s note that not only said she has anxiety/panic attacks and needs some accommodation, as well as maybe why it causes panic attacks/ recommendations for her job (may be she got jumped one time taking out the garbage for example), it would make things a lot easier for both of you. You sound like you are willing to accommodate her- you just don’t know what you need to accommodate, exactly.
Is the question here, “Is it reasonable for someone with anxiety to take breaks during the work day?” Yes, yes it is.
Is the question, “Do I have to believe and accommodate someone’s disability without proof it exists?” Grey area, check your local discrimination laws.
Is the question, “Is it reasonable to expect my employees to take on additional tasks outside of their job description?” Hire a freaking part time janitor ya cheap ass.
Do the optics look good? No. Can she still try to sue? Sure, but it’s unlikely an employment lawyer will take the case. Should you respond on social media? Absolutely not. Businesses rarely come off well when they try and argue in the public forum.
Good luck OP.
Self-diagnosis isn’t diagnosis. And even if she had a medical diagnosis with accommodations (as a person medically diagnosed with anxiety, I’m not even sure what work-place accommodations a doctor could make), it should not fall on the employer to be paying a person during a time they are not working.
Your employee sounds like she is using her “condition” as a way to manipulate her situation. If she can’t handle the “anxiety” of taking out the garbage, then she needs to find another job.
If it’s a legitimate disability for her, she should take steps to monitor that and see the right professionals.
I would screenshot and save that post, and run it by the lawyer you should probably already have and make sure that she hasn’t posted anything libellous.
Edit to add: this is also disregarding the likely possibility that she was using the entire thing as an excuse to shirk her responsibilities and did not even need the accommodations.
You’ve been accommodating your employees self diagnosed anxiety issues for much longer than employers I know would have.
The problem with people who self diagnose is that it leaves those with actual diagnoses to have to defend their disability and ensure job employers that they work and contribute equally.