He stood at a crossroads, torn between love and honesty, grappling with the raw reality that the woman he cared for was drowning in her own sorrow. The fragile threads of their relationship trembled as he confronted the painful truth, knowing that without open dialogue, the foundation between them could not survive. In that moment, the weight of unspoken emotions threatened to unravel everything they had built.
Firstly, for some context, we have a planned parenthood that specializes in abortions like 5 minutes away. I understand people thinking she didn’t want to get an abortion because of protesters.
I completely understand. I drive by that specific place every single day for work. I have seen no protesters. It’s usually empty besides a few cars on the side of the side of the road.
But, I still understand why she wouldn’t want a medical abortion from reading the comments.
I asked her why, what was her goal here. She was trying really hard to avoid the conversation and left the room but (I apologize if this makes me an asshole) but I told her if we can’t have a conversation about this I have to end the relationship.
She came back in and said the reason why she did this was because she never felt like her family gave her enough attention in life, and didn’t feel supported by them so she wanted to tell them she had a miscarriage so they can feel bad for her.
I was confused because she could’ve just gotten a medical abortion and lied about it instead of just harming her body with a toxic herb. I asked her about that, and she told me she wanted to have the experience of having an actual miscarriage.
I was so confused and in shock so I didn’t say much else because all of this just sounded crazy to me. She told me she didn’t want me mad at her and she doesn’t want to break up and she was literally begging me to not break up with her.
I asked her, is there any chance the baby wouldn’t have been mine? She said no.
I told her she needs to get therapy ASAP. I thankfully make enough to afford therapy and I told her I will pay for her if she just please go to therapy. She agreed. I also told her she needs to go to the hospital and I was telling her all of your comments about the septic that can happen and liver and kidney damage and that kinda scared her into going to the hospital to get checked out.
We went to the hospital last night and thankfully she is ok. Apparently she drank around 1 cup of it a day for a few days. I found out she was also taking some other things (high dose of vitamin c, turmeric, parsley).
That’s pretty much it for now, but I’m not too sure where to go from here. I love her and I do want to be with her but all of this is so out of the blue. Thanks for all of the comments on the last post.
If anything else happens I’ll make another update.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is left grappling with a severe crisis of trust and understanding after discovering their partner intentionally induced a miscarriage using harmful herbs, motivated by a deep-seated need for attention and perceived family neglect. The central conflict lies between the OP’s desire to maintain the relationship, supported by their immediate actions to ensure her physical safety and seek professional help, and the extreme, manipulative, and self-endangering nature of the partner’s actions.
Given the partner’s demonstrated capacity for extreme deception and self-harm stemming from unmet emotional needs, the core question remains: Can a relationship survive when one partner has deliberately fabricated a life-threatening medical event for emotional validation, and what level of ongoing psychological intervention is required before trust can realistically be rebuilt?
Here’s how people reacted:
This was your child too. And you don’t seen to react to the fact that she did this to your child. You need to in touch with a grief counselor. For yourself.
Yes you have been reacting to the situation, but not to the lose of your child yet. If that grief is not handled correctly it will come at you like a bat out of hell. You will be hit with the feeling of lose all of a sudden.
She needs help, because what she did was unhinged, but you can’t be there for her if you yourself break down completely, and that is where you are heading if you don’t allow yourself to grief.
Stay with her or break up, that is a decision you need to make yourself, but you have to be in the right state of mind to do that.
She is getting the help she needs, now it is time for you to get the help you need.
She purposely tried to harm herself to get rid of the baby instead of doing it the safe way. That’s mental illness right there.
You can’t trust her to not harm your future children “just to get attention and sympathy”. There’s a mom who was on the news for that. Years ago. I think she killed 4 of them bc I think one survived.
What are you going to do when she goes after your 7 or 13 year old? It’s one thing to want an abortion bc you don’t want children. It’s a psycho thing to pretend to miscarry to get sympathy.
Run OP. Run.
You wanted this child? You’re ok with her killing it for family attention? You’re more concerned about her idiotic ingestion of toxic herbs (oh great, you’re also dating a moron) than her making a decision to terminate YOUR child for her own selfish purposes?
Her behaviour is sociopathic and dangerous. She lied, she ended a developing baby that she claimed she wanted for attention by poisoning herself, what else will she do to get what she feels she deserves? Run.
Yikes.
>I asked her about that, and she told me she wanted to have the experience of having an actual miscarriage.
Holy FUCK YIKES.
There’s something drastically wrong with your girlfriend. This is beyond reasonable, normal, or acceptable. She needs help NOW and you need to decide if you want to continue this relationship. This is a whole other level of disturbing.
This woman is mentally ill. You need to get far away from her as fast as you can.
She induced a miscarriage to GET ATTENTION.
I know attention whores will do many things to get their fix, but there has to be a limit.
Wearing a thong bikini with your entire ass hanging out to get attention is one thing but what she did has to cross over the line.
While what she did was despicable and disgusting, the silver lining is that you will not have to deal with her for the next 18 years.
Do NOT have a baby with her.
And remember, never stick your dick in crazy.
Second: I am so sorry this happened to you. That was YOUR potential child, and she aborted it … for attention. That is just abhorrent.
Given the scenario, I hope that YOU will also seek some counseling to work through this for yourself. You need to take a really deep look at this relationship and your future and determine whether this is the partner for you.
Best of luck to you. I hope you both get the support you need.
Very pro abortion here – but y’all agreed to have a baby and she killed it for sympathy and attention.
How close is that to Munchausen? If you have a child with this lunatic what’s it gonna take for her to poison her child to get more sympathy? A pin drop? What about a dead husband? That gets a lot of sympathy and attention.
She does need therapy, she also needs consequences, and under no circumstances should you reproduce with this person.
It would be deeply irresponsible, and quite frankly dangerous.
or harm themselves to get the symptoms.
Diagnosing and treating Munchausen syndrome is difficult because of the person’s dishonesty.
* By doing this, she only thought of herself and how she could get maximum attention from everyone. She didn’t care if she was causing you pain.
* She wanted to suffer a miscarriage so she could victimise herself in front of others.
I’m no psychologist, but this sounds like HPD or Munchausen syndrome.
My firstborn was in a toxic relationship. I told my kid that it’s okay to still love them and to feel sad about not being together, but you need to take care of yourself and your needs too. You can love someone and the relationship doesn’t work.
If you’re able to move past this, more power to you. I would never be able to not question her again; not just about kids, but literally everything.
And I am sorry, a sanger to others.
She did this to get the empathy and support from her family. What if this goes away and she craves more? Another misc…. or maybe the loss of her partner…
What she did is literally munchausen syndrome. If you have a child I guarantee she will start munchausen syndrome by proxy. Run. Save yourself and unborn children.
Shes a sociopath, get out while you can.
NTA, and also, please don’t reproduce with this person.
That’s one of the most sadistic things she could have said.
What dafuq did I just read? Dude. Nope. No. Oh my. No.