NTA I’m so tired of people pushing polyamory all of a sudden. Like alright cool, you’re not adult enough to stick to one person, fine, but don’t act like it’s superior to monogamy. Each to their own at the end of the day, even though I personally think polyamory is BS, but I’m not going to actively tear it apart in front of anybody who practices it. I’d reconsider this friendship if she doesn’t stop trying to talk shit about how you live your life of monogamy.

EDIT To Address The Multiple Replies: It’s MY PERSONAL OPINION, and I made myself very clear about the fact that I’m NOT going to talk shit to someone about their lifestyle choice. It doesn’t make ME uncomfortable and have never felt threatened by it. I just don’t think polyamory is legit healthy way to live, it’s like being in a constant “situationship” and I do think you need to be in a mature state of mind to truly commit to monogamy, but that’s me and this is a public forum. If you took it personally then maybe you need to re-evaluate yourself and “cultural norms.” Live your best life, whatever it is. *shrug*

As someone poly: oh god NTA. Check out the r/polyamory sub and encourage her to check it out too, with you if you can stand her enough. There are a *lot* of posts that poly is absolutely not for everyone.

And her constantly insulting your relationship is horrible. You have someone you love and decided to commit your life to that one person. Poly people decide to commit to more than one person, and/or keep that commitment ‘open’ for side relationships. Both are awesome!

Try to make it clear that you don’t care about whether she’s poly or not, she’s just being a dick and insulting your relationship and that specifically is the problem. I imagine you’ve already tried talking about it rationally but the ultimatum is there if necessary: stop insulting us or you can’t live in our house for free.

Lol or put up an “insult jar”. If you insult someone’s valid way of life, put a coin in the jar. 😛

In my opinion, people who declare themselves “poly” so they can have 5 rotating boyfriends tend to be rather self-centered and dramatic. This explains the explosive breakups, the professed inability to understand why anyone would make a different choice, and the utter rudeness. I bet she prides herself on her “honesty” but really that’s just an excuse for being disrespectful.

She kept criticizing your marriage and your life until you finally blew up. NTA and I don’t understand why you’re even friends with her unless you find it entertaining to watch her constant drama.

NTA

You have invited a “friend” to stay with you. Said friend has taken time to shit all over you and how you chose to live your life. Said friend has whined about not being able to have visitors because you are concerned for your health **during a global pandemic**. Said friend has called you homophobic because you said no visitors and she’s straight.

I think it’s more than high time for her to leave and just as an aside, you might want to rethink your friendship. She is clearly willing to disregard your needs for her own and will continue to do so in the future.

NTA – nothing to do with being homophobic or anything.. especially if she’s straight lol? It’s a global pandemic. 5 different people who have interacted with 5 different people, so on is how this virus spreads. Monogamy may not be ‘natural’ but it is a choice only the person making it can decide, just as being poly is, she needs to keep her opinion to herself as she isn’t considerate and is completely bias and seems to think only her way of life is right

NTA. Emily needs to know her audience. Your lifestyle is different from hers and she is being disrespectful. You’re cool with her having six different partners, why is she giving you a hard time about your one? Someone who is currently couch surfing because of her bad break up has all these partners but can’t find one of them to stay with and is talking shit about the monogamous people living together, offering her a bed? Ok. Rude.

NTA.

Call me biased. I dont care.

I have yet to see anyone that I know who is poly be successful in their relationship endeavors.

I find a lot of people who say they are poly either, cant sit with one person for too long and get bored, or have actual commitment issues that just need to be addressed.

Again thats my bias. But thats what I see consistently.

NTA. Your house, your rules.

She is in the wrong to lecture anyone over their life choices or relationships.

Also you have done her a huge favour putting her up for free so she should be far more considerate of your wishes.

Apologies for my lack of education on the matter but may I ask what it means for a person to be queer?

Nta! If you were saying how all poly relationships are bad and will all fail and are morally wrong, she would have been upset and rightfully so. So why is it okay when she does it to you? Also not wanting to be exposed to 5 other people during a pandemic isn’t homophobic its responsible.

NTA – She is a guest in your home, if she cannot abide by your rules and respect you then she can find another place to crash at until she can go somewhere else. You are indeed doing her a favor and she should be grateful for that instead of complaining at every turn.

NTA she’s being EXTREMELY rude, if she wants to and likes being poly that’s her decision but for her to lecture you on your own relationship while you’re helping her for free is the most obnoxious thing ever. Personally I’d kick her butt to the curb.

NTA.

She has 5 partners and none of them have a couch for her to stay on and she became homeless through an ‘incident’ with the ex? I’d hardly say poly life is working for her.

Polyamorous here. NTA.

She is way too far over the line; if the roles were reversed and it was you preaching about monogamy to her, it would be equally as asshole a move to do

NTA. She’s being rude by talking shit about your lifestyle, and whining about not being allowed visitors (during a global pandemic). I probably would have snapped too.

NTA. I get the feeling she’s banging on about it to convince HERSELF she’s made the right decision, because nobody secure in themselves would behave the way she is.

NTA, but you could have handled it better. I don’t blame you for blowing up though. Sit down with your friend and talk, explain why attacking your beliefs is wrong.