Although the sister did not end the relationship, she remained deeply hurt. Later, at a family dinner, the fiancé made another insensitive comment regarding their wedding plans. In response, the narrator brought up the previous fake proposal incident to call him out publicly, which led to an argument with the sister who felt embarrassed by the confrontation. The narrator is now questioning if they were wrong for intervening.
My sister (28F) has been with her fiancé (32M) for three years. She’s always been the more reserved, quiet type, while he’s loud, extroverted, and sometimes a little over-the-top. We tolerated him, but recently, he crossed a serious line.
A few weeks ago, my sister came to me in tears because her fiancé had “pranked” her in front of his friends by pretending to propose in an elaborate setup, only to laugh in her face and say, “Just kidding, babe!
You really thought I was serious?” His friends all laughed while she stood there, humiliated. She didn’t break up with him (which I think she should have), but she was heartbroken.
He later gave her some half-hearted excuse about how he actually had a proposal planned soon and this was just a joke gone wrong. Fast forward to this past weekend at our parents’ house.
We were having a big family dinner, and he was there, acting like nothing happened. While chatting, someone asked when they were getting married, and before my sister could answer, he smirked and said, “Guess she’ll just have to wait and see, huh?” That was it for me.
I smiled sweetly and said, “Oh, is this like how she had to wait for that hilarious fake proposal in front of all your friends? That was so funny, right? Let’s all have a good laugh about it now.” The table went dead silent.
My sister looked mortified, but my parents looked pissed at him. He stammered something about it being a joke, but my dad straight-up told him, “That’s not a joke. That’s cruelty.” He left shortly after, and now my sister is mad at me for “embarrassing him and making things worse.” I told her he embarrassed her first and deserved to be called out.
My parents are backing me, but my sister says I’ve ruined things for her.
Conclusion
The narrator is conflicted because they acted to defend their sister against repeated public humiliation by her fiancé, an action supported by their parents. However, the sister is upset, feeling that the intervention publicly embarrassed the fiancé and potentially worsened her relationship situation.
The core debate centers on whether the narrator was justified in publicly calling out the fiancé’s disrespectful behavior to support their sister, or if this public confrontation was an overstep that damaged the sister’s relationship dynamics, leaving the question: Was the narrator justified in defending their sister publicly, or should they have remained silent?
Here’s how people reacted:
Your sister’s probably just upset and trying to keep the peace but honestly you did her a favor If she stays with this guy she needs to see exactly what kind of person he is before she’s in too deep Your parents backing you up just proves you weren’t out of line he was
What he did was downright cruel and it served him right to only experience only a sliver of what your sister did, and as far as you “ruining things” he did it not you. She is probably still feeling very raw from the fake proposal so it being brought up with still to fresh for her, but go to her and have a very honest chat… I mean does she really want to have this type of man as a husband? Who thinks it’s okay to publicly embarrass her?
He is absolutely an asshole, that prank was cruel. And generally one is never an asshole for calling out that behavior.
That being said, your sister does not want you and the family getting too involved and I think you need to respect that. Ultimately it’s on the two of them to work through.
Support her as much as you can, but I’d dial back on the comments to him at gatherings.
‘OMG, she’s so gonna prank him back by telling him, their parents have won the fucking lottery’
Actually what you did wasn’t even revenge. It was simply spitting facts when this pos (rightfully, unfortunately) thought, your sister would shy away from adressing what he did.
Definitely NTA
A joke is not funny if it has to be explained.
Ask him how his Prank was funny. To explain in detail where your sister was supposed to laugh. Repeatedly ask him to explain his prank at every opportunity, especially around his family.
A Prank is not funny if it is not funny for everyone involved, then it is called abuse.
Aside from the potential criminal charges, and potentially upsetting my daughter, if I was her dad I’d have a hard time not throwing his ass out of my house face first and making clear my daughter deserved far better than the man-boy asshole currently with her.
Be uncomfortable. Make the tension unbearable. If she marries him, he’ll destroy her entire life.
Basically, happy hunting.
That was not a prank “gone wrong.” The entire design and intent of the prank is pure cruelty. He 100% needed to be called out and humiliated for it. I can only hope he may have learned a lesson from it.
dickhead had that and MUCH more coming, sis is blinded by rose tinted “twue wuv” glasses and isnt seeing how badly he’s mis-using the oxygen trees put out.
NTA, get her out, for her own sake.
Right now she’s set the bar so low that she’s actually tripping over it.
Unfortunately, your sister is one of those people who’s a dumbass for “love”.