NTA

I was raised by my grandparents and I grew up in the 90s. I started my period when I was eleven, so that was ’94. At this point, my grandmother was still working fulltime but my grandfather was semi-retired and so he was responsible for the majority of the childcare, household chores, and shopping. I went to my grandfather -a man in his 50s, who grew up in a generation where men were men and women were women PERIOD- if I needed feminine products. He never even batted an eyelash. Because ***real men*** do what they need to do in order to take care of their families.

Now, I’m about to be 38, and over the years, more than one boyfriend has run to the store to pick me up tampons and midol. And none of them has raised a ruckus and nobody has ever accosted them for being “weirdos” or “creeps” for hanging around the feminine product isle. Because ***real men*** recognize that half of the humans on the planet bleed and it’s nothing to be ashamed of or freaked out by.

Congratulations for being a ***real man.***

Couple of months ago I was in the supermarket, and there was a teenage lad standing in front of the menstrual supplies, looking back and forth between his phone and the shelf. Came back the other way past the aisle and he was still there looking stressed, so I asked if I could help.

Turns out his mum has leukaemia and isn’t supposed to go out, so they’ve been ordering shopping online for delivery, only the latest order was missing his mum’s tampons. The young man had volunteered to go get them, made a note on his phone of what was needed, and was utterly confused and couldn’t find it on the shelf because he had no idea what it should look like.

Tampons found, crisis averted, lad relieved. Did make sure I told him to be proud of himself for being a good son and an excellent human 😊 I mean, it’s menstruation, not sodding Ebola.

Edit: my first award! Thank you, kind stranger!

NTA and you are correct that a real man wouldn’t be bothered at all. Lots of men buy pads for the women in their lives, as they could be too busy, too young, or in too much pain to go to the store themselves.

This reminds me of a story about an Indian man who took it upon himself to revolutionize access to sanitary pads for women in rural parts of the country. For taking an interest in a women’s issue, he was disowned by his family and community. His methods were definitely eccentric, but in the end, he provided much needed supplies to thousands of women and helped reduce the stigma around the topic. I think that’s a real man! Your dad would be horrified.

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-26260978

My fiance buys me feminine products – because he’s not so fragile that a tampon scares him into a case of the wibbles.

You’re NTA.

It is not creepy to see men, albeit often slightly confused men, in the sanitary products aisle. If anyone’s thinking anything it’s along the lines of “fair play to him, he’s a keeper”.

Your dad’s an ass. Charitably, I’ll call him “of a different time”. Please inform him that a real man is not afraid of a small piece of cotton and his balls will not drop off if he touches a packet of Always.

(You don’t have to tell him that last bit.)

Edit: I gave a brief synopsis of your dad’s views to said fiance and his response was “fcuk off”. 😂

NTA that’s how a “real” man should handle it. My husbands has had to get me products more than once and likely will need to again in the future. There’s nothing more “masculine” than helping your partner during their time of need.

Been menstruating over 20years now and no a guy in the same aisle isn’t creepy. It’s actually a little cute cuz y’all trying to be good men but looking so lost. And usually pads are in the same aisle as condoms and other sexual health items which are for all genders.

But you do need to be understanding of your pops… toxic masculinity was ingrained in him sense birth.

YTA – This is just fantastic. Your dad makes some misogynistic comment about buying tampons and how real men wouldn’t do that, so what do you do? Throw an equally misogynistic comment right back about him being too weak and not man enough (AKA a p\*ssy) to buy tampons. You’re a regular old 21st century feminist alright. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

NTA

>I don’t know if it comes off as creepy

Not at all. Guys buying period products for their partners is perfectly normal. And your dad’s insistence that buying sanitary products means you’re not a “real man” is a prime example of toxic masculinity. How sad that his 17-year-old son is more mature than he is.

ESH. Your Dad is being very old fashioned and you are right for calling him out. However, name calling doesn’t help your case and probably made him feel justified.

BTW my husband buys me products if I need them. Doing a favor for your loved one is always appreciated and isn’t something to be judged for.

NTA.

I told my nephews that if they’re not mature enough to be seen buying tampons/pads for their girlfriends, they are not mature enough to be having sex anyway. Luckily, they’re all good eggs, they don’t have a problem buying feminine hygiene (or condoms). They were raised right.

A lot of older men have this antiquated view on masculinity. But honestly, being secure and doing something nice for someone while being able to stick up for yourself and those you care about is the nontoxic variety many miss out on.

You’re NTA my dude

Definitely NTA. You were doing something g very nice for your girlfriend. I’m a woman, and when I see a guy in that section I see him as just another person. We know guys aren’t buying them for themselves. We just appreciate the effort

NTA. When a woman sees a man in the sanitary products aisle she doesn’t think “oh my gosh, a pervert getting his rocks off to wads of cotton!” She thinks “He must be getting products for someone”. That’s it.

NTA- My bf has bought my pads for years, my other bf’s had, and before that, my Dad. My Dad used to say that as long as he’s buying us pads, that means he’s not buying diapers, and he’d rather buy the pads.

NTA. Your father was trying to push toxic ideas about masculinity onto you. Good on you for being secure enough in your masculinity not to fall prey to that kind of silly thinking and for clapping back.

NTA. It’s 2021 for crying out loud. You’re getting a product your girlfriend needs. It’s doesn’t matter what the product is, she needed it, you got it.

NTA. Your dad’s an idiot. No one cares about what other people buy at a store, and everyone knows 50% of the population (or so) gets periods.

YTA She really should be getting those herself, the other women in that isle probably thought you were a creep