But the return home shatters their fragile peace. Their daughter’s innocent question—”Is she mean to me?”—unleashes a wave of confusion and concern, forcing them to confront a painful truth hidden beneath the surface of their brief escape. What was meant to be a carefree night becomes a haunting puzzle of trust, fear, and the complexity of a child’s world.
So me and my husband have a 7yo daughter who is extremely curious about everything. Me and husband wanted just a weekend out with just the two of us so we had his sister (17) babysit for the night while we went to the beach house for a date night.
It was so needed. Was really nice to be able to have sex while not exhausted from the day. We watched Lifetime movies, had sex, cuddled, binged Love is Blind, had more sex. First time in 7 years we actually got to just be a couple again.
We called every night to make sure everything was alright at home and we got pretty enthusiastic yes from both of them and it seemed like daughter was having a fun time with her aunt.
Then we got back home. We thanked his sister for babysitting and gave her $500 for the weekend. The next night our daughter asks us if she’s ever going to have to see her aunt again and we laugh and ask why and she tells us “because she’s mean to me.”
So now we’re wondering what the hell happened. I get she’s 7 so I think she just wasn’t allowed sweets after dinner (we usually let her have a small piece of cake or something on weekends) or something like that.
We continue to ask questions and she tells us that aunt wouldn’t make her meals at all leaving our 7 year old daughter to use the oven and cook for herself without any supervision. When asked about it she claimed she was “just upstairs” in case anything went wrong and I flipped my shit.
She left a fucking child to use an oven by herself! SHE CAN’T EVEN REACH THE FUCKING CONTROLS!
So she’s telling me essentially she made my daughter CLIMB THE FUCKING COUNTER TO GET TO THE CONTROLS TO TURN OFF THE OVEN, WHILE IT WAS STILL HOT! It’s bad enough she’d have to climb up to turn on the oven, fine whatever, I’ve let her do that a few times too while I was there to lift her up and down but while it was on and still very much hot too?
What the fuck was she thinking‽
I told my husband she is never allowed over again and we will never let her babysit again. My husband is telling me we just need to explain why she can’t do that and give her a second chance.
Am I overreacting?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) experienced a severe breach of trust and safety expectations after discovering their 17-year-old niece allegedly forced their 7-year-old daughter to cook unsupervised, including interacting with a hot oven. The OP is understandably reacting with intense anger and has decided to permanently ban the babysitter, creating a conflict with the husband who suggests counseling and a second chance.
Is the OP’s reaction to permanently exclude the sister-in-law from babysitting justified given the potential danger involved, or is the husband correct that communication and education about boundaries should precede such a severe, relationship-altering consequence?
Here’s how people reacted:
In your first six sections the only useful information you gave is that the Aunt is 17 and that you were gone for a weekend. The rest of those parts are garbage. Now we finally get to the situation.
that the Aunt wouldn’t make her meals at all… She doesn’t sound like a great babysitter but she is also only 17. If we are talking a breakfast of cereal. Your daughter is old enough to do that herself. If we are talking a lunch of a sandwich… Your daughter is also old enough to do that for herself. So it only seems like dinner should be a concern and if it was for a weekend we are only talking about 2 instances. So your 7yo daughter used the oven twice without an adult standing watch. Sounds like you are over reacting. It also sounds like you don’t know kitchen appliances. I’d be more concerned about a 7yo using knives to prepare dinner but you don’t mention that at all so I’m just guessing that the oven usage was for frozen pizza or the like. You don’t mention any burns either so you are DEFINITELY overreacting because your daughter just PROVED she can use the oven safely.
What the fuck was she thinking? What the fuck were you thinking leaving a 17 year old in charge without clearly spelling out her responsibilities?
You told your husband that his sister is never allowed over again? – YTA You are totally the asshole. Never let her babysit again? Thats fine but you should have spelled out that you expect her to make the meals.
Your husband is right and you are overreacting. YTA YTA YTA
It’s also not clear what happened you object to and why sis let whatever it is happen. You mention her using the stove herself but then say you let her do this. Did daughter tell her you let her use the stove? Had you told sis differently? Was sis using a stove at her age? Many kids are cooking at 7.
Overall, you seem like you refuse to accept you handled this poorly and are leaving details out to seem more right. This post is a mess. Either clarify, get the aunties side of the story, or accept the fact that you’re acting like a prick.
However y’all suck too for leaving a SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD alone with a small child *for an entire weekend* in the first place! And the way you tell it it kind of sounds like this could be her first time babysitting for you. **What were** ***you two*** **thinking??** That is *way* too young to be watching a child by themselves for almost 42 hours straight! Some of the blame here lies on your poor judgement in expecting **a teenager** to be mature enough to handle babysitting the entire weekend. Find an adult to watch your child the next time you’re going to be gone overnight.
In any case, you do not get to decide alone who can come over and who is banned. It’s not just your home, not just your child, and it’s his family. My suggestion is to seek out an adult next time and put a little effort into finding someone to leave your kid with, especially if you’re going to be this dramatic. You went away on a sex filled vacation and left your 7yr old with a 17yr old for several days. If you care so much about your child’s safety, maybe act like it.
Yes at 17 she should have known better but you haven’t really asked for her side of the story. Your child could have said “mum and dad let me cook unsupervised all the time”. And if I was the babysitter I’d look around the house at the lack of food or money to provide it, consider the fact that I’d been left in charge for a whole weekend and probably think “yeah OK kid, I believe you”.
YTA.
However, not allowing her in the house ever again seems a tad excessive as opposed to not allowing her to babysit again.
She was absolutely wrong to leave a child under her supervision to use the oven alone. And to not cook her meals was even worse. I agree with your husband that you guys need to talk to her and I would even go as far as to say she should give some of the money back as it sounds like she neglected a very big part of her duty.
She owes you, your husband and your daughter a huge apology.
Also, your post is confusing. You said you were going to be gone a night but then you were gone multiple nights?
1) You left someone way to young babysit someone your kid for the first time for 42 hours without even setting up food.
2) You refused to hear the 17 year old’s side of the story despite the fact that 7 year olds are not reliable narrators and frankly the story sounds a little fantastical.
3) YWBITA for refusing to let your daughter see her aunt ever again just because she sucks at babysitting (assuming everything your daughter said is correct)