Confronted with Sam’s reckless disregard for the law and his own safety, Lucy stood firm, even as his accusations pierced her resolve. In that charged moment, she embodied the harsh truth that sometimes, doing what’s right means breaking the bonds of family and facing the storm of betrayal head-on.
I (29F) am a police officer and I take my job seriously. I worked my ass off to get here and I don’t play favorites, even when it comes to people I know. A few nights ago, I was on duty when I pulled over a car for running a red light and swerving.
When I walked up to the driver’s side, my stomach dropped…it was my boyfriend’s brother Sam (22M).
I kept it professional and asked for his license and registration. The minute he recognized me, he laughed and said “Oh come on, Lucy you’re not seriously gonna give me a ticket, are you?” Then I smelled the alcohol…I knew from before that he tends to drink and drive.
I asked him if he had been drinking and he shrugged, saying he only had “a couple” beers. I had him step out and do a sobriety test—which he failed. He had a lot of alcohol in him.
At this point, I had no choice but to arrest him for DUI. He flipped out, calling me a traitor and saying that I was “choosing my job over family.” He even tried to guilt-trip me by saying that if I called it in, it would ruin his life.
I didn’t back down. He got booked and my boyfriend, Liam (29M), was furious when he found out. He called me saying “You really couldn’t just let him go? He wasn’t hurting anyone.”
I told him that Sam was a danger to himself and others he was really drunk and that I wasn’t about to risk someone’s life just because he’s family. Liam is still pissed, Sam won’t talk to me and I don’t know what to do.
I think that if one of my colleagues had pulled him over instead of me, they would have done the exact same thing. And honestly, maybe this is the wake up call he needs to smarten up before something worse happens.
I stand by my decision, but now I started overthinking a lot and I’m wondering…AITAH for not looking the other way?
Conclusion
The original poster firmly stands by her professional duty to arrest her boyfriend’s brother for a DUI, viewing it as necessary for public safety, which directly conflicts with her boyfriend’s desire for her to prioritize family leniency over strict adherence to the law.
Was the officer justified in upholding the law and ensuring public safety by arresting a family member for a clear DUI, or should she have considered the potential long-term damage to her personal relationships by refusing to look the other way in a situation where no accident had yet occurred?
Here’s how people reacted:
For all any of you know, you arresting your boyfriend’s brother may have imminently saved a life. As LEO, I’m sure you’re all too familiar with how life can be dramatically changed in *literally* the blink of an eye.
I find it *more* concerning that your boyfriend is more upset with *you*, than he is at *his brother* for being a reckless dumbass. That said, I’ve always been that friend/family member that calls out the stupid shit my loved ones do. As far as I’m concerned, if you don’t call out the stupid, dangerous shit your friends do, you really aren’t a friend.
I mean, MAYBE you literally just had your birthday in the last 24hrs, or maybe you forgot [you’re supposed to be 28F](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1jlyze8/aitah_for_telling_my_sister_to_choose_between_me/), not 29F.
But on the offchance it’s real (happy birthday!) – you actually WANT to be with somebody who wants their brother to get away with risking their own life and that of others?
You even care about that opinion? That boyfriend is just as worthless as his drunk-driving brother.
You would very clearly be NTA, but, importantly, this is fake shit.
You did good Lucy, stayed strong in the face of backlash. Hope Liam comes around soon
But thinking this wouldn’t affect your relationship was foolish.
If safety was your only concern—you could have called your bf to come get him. Officers have discretion.
As far as your (x?)BF, tell him that he should have set a better example so his brother didn’t grow up thinking DUI was acceptable.
NTA. Not at all. And this is a pattern for him? Drunk driving? He needs to lose his license.
Nah he could have caused a major accident unbeknownst to himself and the other driver on the road. Your bf needs to know that family isn’t exempt from the Law.
They’d blame you for letting him go.
Why are you involved in this trashy, toxic family?
You can do better. You deserve better.