His anger and frustration boil over in a raw confrontation, revealing the deep wounds caused by clashing beliefs and unmet expectations. In this moment of vulnerability, the painful truth emerges: love and loyalty struggle to survive in the shadow of political betrayal.
So my mom and dad both voted for Trump. It’s a major point of contention between us as I believe him to be evil incarnate and a weak, geriatric who has no business leading anyone, much less an entire country.
But that’s not necessarily what this post is about.
I work in the education tech sector, and on Friday, my entire team and I were laid off as a result of the dismantling of the Department of Education. Super fun and not at all terrible.
/s
She was grilling me about finding a new job, what I was doing to find one, the kind of places I was applying to, etc. (note: it’s been less than 24 hours since I was laid off), and I blew up at her and essentially said, “You know what?
I need to be left alone. You voted for this. Thank you.” She then called my sister (who is a *raging* liberal while I tend to fall left of center, and cried to her over the phone about how both of us think she’s a bad person just because of how she voted.
The truth of the matter is that, while I don’t necessarily think she’s a bad person at her core, I do believe her to be deeply misinformed and willfully ignorant (she’s also a blind follower of my father, who I’m not convinced isn’t actually kind of a shit human).
My sister backed me up (thank God for sisterhood) and essentially said that she was entitled to her opinions but that we were also entitled to call her out when she was wrong or when we disagreed with her, especially when her opinions hurt other people.
She then said that she wasn’t sure when she’d ever call me again, which honestly… I’m kind of okay with.
But I want to make sure I’m not throwing away a relationship with my mother over nothing. Blood relations don’t mean much to me (I’m definitely a “found family” person), but she’s still my Mom, you know?
I gave up on my Dad a long time ago, so losing him means little to nothing to me.
Tl;dr – Lost my job due to lack of funding as a result of the Department of Education being dismantled. Mom voted for Trump, and I essentially told her she voted for everything that’s going on right now, including my unemployment.
Am I the AH?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is facing the immediate crisis of job loss, which they directly link to the political choices of their mother. This action resulted in an intense emotional reaction from the mother, who feels judged for her vote, creating a significant rift in their relationship.
The core question remains whether the OP was justified in using the mother’s political choice as the basis for their outburst during a moment of professional crisis, or if this constitutes an unfair emotional burden placed upon a familial relationship over differing political beliefs.
Here’s how people reacted:
\> both of us think she’s a bad person just because of how she voted.
And well you should. She is some combination of selfish and ignorant, and you are literally dealing with the consequences of her actions.
\> She then said that she wasn’t sure when she’d ever call me again, which honestly… I’m kind of okay with.
Good. She caught feelings because you have a *legitimate* grievance with her. What she *should* do is talk it out with you, listen to your concerns, explain herself, and if she wronged you (she did) find ways to make amends. Crying about how you’re mad at her is just emotional manipulation. She doesn’t have to stop supporting Trump, but as long as she is it’s perfectly reasonable for you to distance yourself from her. It’s no different from if you were gay and she kept telling your girlfriends they’re going to hell, or if you married someone from a different ethnicity and she tried to get them deported. It’s frankly amazing that bigots think they are entitled to a relationship with you regardless of how they treat you.
\> My sister backed me up (thank God for sisterhood) and essentially said that she was entitled to her opinions but that we were also entitled to call her out when she was wrong or when we disagreed with her, especially when her opinions hurt other people.
Your sister rocks.
The only thing I would push back on is this:
\> She was grilling me about finding a new job, what I was doing to find one, the kind of places I was applying to, etc.
It’s entirely possible her intention wasn’t to grill you, but rather to support you in some way or at least just communicate her concern for your wellbeing. That doesn’t change any of the rest of the stuff about her voting for the lunatic that disbanded the organization that employed you, but it isn’t *entirely* unreasonable for a loved-one to call within 24 hrs of losing a job to commiserate and offer suggestions. A good friend who knows you well would listen to you and offer the feedback you are looking for, but your 68 yo mother may not be at her cognitive prime and if it wasn’t for all the Trump stuff you might just thank her for her concern and let her know that you’re not looking for suggestions right now because you’re still processing.
Obviously you’re not good with math else you would recall that Trump got the largest number of votes than any other president in history. America is fed up with your kind of politics, we’re tired of run away inflation, we’re tired of supporting stupid ideals like the federal government running our education system that is a complete failure. You and those you worked with did a lousy job so you need to be fired.
God bless your parents and the rest of the majority of the Americans that put Trump into office.
I suggest you stop allowing yourself to be spoon fed biased propaganda and start thinking with your brains and not your ass.
For your information I’m not a republican, I vote for the person best for the job, the person best for America. I suggest you stop being loyal to a political party and try being loyal to your country.
Spouse and SIL work at one of the only high paying plants in the rural area we live in. Both have great positions but the tariffs could impact what the plant produces, profits, etc., and ultimately impact employment there. SIL was sharing her fears with vile MIL and instead of just being a mother and listening or even being reassuring like “you don’t know that will happen, blah blah” she was nasty and just said “then you’ll both get other jobs, I’ve had to!” MIL has never been laid off from a high paying job. She used to quit jobs bc she’s a narc and everyone else is a problem.
Nevermind the fact that she voted for everything that’s happened, but the sheer lack of empathy? Grilling you about employment after you just got laid off?
My mom would have offered to fly me to her home in another state and let me stay for a week to decompress and let me take a mental vacation..in fact, she DID do that when I was between jobs last year.
And now she wants sympathy? What a colossal narcissist.
You said nothing that was incorrect. It’s not even like it’s a political viewpoint or a vague connection to Trump. There’s a clear line that can be drawn from the ejection of Trump to the dismantling of the Department of Education.
Even if she voted for Harris, she’d still be out of line asking you questions like that 24 hours after being laid off.
Also, when it comes to government workers being let go, The ones being fired are those who are not necessary, redundant, or haven’t been working efficiently / maintaining the standard. Do what that information what you will.
It better to have regrets about not winning arguments than not spending time with a loved one.
I’ve ghosted people for doing less than your mother did. NTA.
The sense of entitlement is peculiar.