But when her husband, seeking solace from boredom, intrudes and alters her carefully crafted paintings, the fragile harmony between their worlds shatters. What began as a loving pursuit of passion now faces the painful sting of misunderstanding, threatening to unravel the very essence of her identity.
I F33 am an art teacher working at a middle school. I love my job because I grew up as an artist. I loved drawing and making art work growing up. I’m blessed I get to do what I love, share my knowledge and experience with others and get paid for it!
I recently started teaching a new class. It’s been great so far the class is always excited to learn and participate in different activities while focusing on improving their artistic skills.
I bring my art work with to show them. Although it’s a bit a bit complicated and they can’t draw similar things but I use this as a way motivate/educate them about different drawing methods.
So far I’ve shown them several paintings. I have a small room in the house I call ‘office’ my husband has his own area (he’s an accountant) he rarely ever walks into my office.
Lately he’s been having plenty of free time lately. He once felt bored. Walked into my office and started messing with my painting adding colors/ruining the texture etc. I told him it wasn’t right.
He said he was trying to make the painting look better.
He wanted to start his own art work. My brushes and tools were constantly missing. I talked to him but no use. Yesterday. I came home and found the painting I have been working on to show the class was ruined by him adding other colors and getting the paper wet.
We got into an argument after he said he wanted to add his own touches to make it a little better. I told him I can’t take it anymore. I went to get a lock to keep my work safe after he caused me time and money.
He saw the lock and said I overreacted. That I treated him like a child by getting a lock instead of talking to him but I did talk but no use.
He’s upset saying what I did was not okay and I was being too hard on him treating him like a student of mine.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is deeply frustrated because her husband repeatedly interfered with and damaged her professional artwork, despite her attempts to communicate her boundaries. The central conflict arises from the OP’s need to protect her professional materials and efforts versus the husband’s belief that his actions were helpful additions and that locking the door was an overreaction akin to treating him like a child.
Does locking the door to a private office to protect valuable, professional artwork from repeated, unauthorized interference constitute a necessary boundary setting, or was it an unfair, overly punitive reaction to a spouse attempting to engage creatively?
Here’s how people reacted:
> He said he was trying to make the painting look better.
He is being very rude and dismissive of you, your work, and your skill and your teaching capabilities.
He’s essentially saying that he, an accountant, knows more than you about art, and about what “looks right”. He’s trying to *correct* your work. He’s messing with your teaching materials, almost as if he doesn’t even see it as a proper job.
Has he always been like this or is this recent thing?
Has he lost control of some other aspect of his life? I am wondering because he seems to want to control you.
>Lately he’s been having plenty of free time
Did he get fired or something?
What happens when you say “don’t come into the room and touch the supplies, and don’t touch artwork” does he listen to this and then just ignore you? Or does he argue back?
If I had to lock the door to keep roommates from messing with my stuff I’d consider it a hostile living environment and would be trying to move away.
>That I treated him like a child by getting a lock instead of talking to him
Well you are treating him like a child. Treating him like an adult would mean treating him like any other adult that repeatedly did something you asked them not to do, which is to cut them out of your life.
Hm. Going to guess that your students are generally more respectful of your work, and would understand that you don’t go around “improving” other people’s art and/or work product.
He’s not behaving like your students, he’s behaving like a spoiled toddler and being a *complete* asshole. He’s lucky you’re just getting a lock and not asking him to go to therapy to explore why he can’t behave like an adult.
NTA
It’s as if, for some weird reason, your husband is trying to sabotage you. There is no possible way he isn’t aware that what he is doing is wrong.
If he doesn’t want to be treated like a child then he should start acting like an adult. He is vandalising your artwork and trying to ruin your classes. You should ask yourself why he is being so spiteful, why does he feel no remorse for what he’s done and why should you put up with such disgusting behaviour.
Does he have some midlife crisis or something?
My mum is an artist. If my dad or any of us kids did what your husband did, we’d be fired into the sun.
Maybe you should start taking an interest in accounting and go add some extra digits to some of his spreadsheets. See how he feels about you effing up his work.
Edit: thank you for the awards, kind redditors 🧡
WTF you never touch other peoples art and “try to improve it”. What is he in anyway I think this is OK? If you want to stay married to someone like him I would suggest buying him his own paint supplies but also leaving the lock on your art room. If I were you I’d reevaluate that relationship.
WTAF is wrong with this guy?
How dare he F with your lively-hood and hobby.
What a child. If he acts like a child then he gets treated like a child. Seriously. Sorry I sound harsh but that is just so totally out of line.
Do you guys have kids yet?
Edit: ask him what he’d do if you went into his office and fucked with a few spreadsheets. He’s screwing with your work. Not okay.
But seriously, people who mess with another’s livelihood or treats it as a hobby that ‘anyone can do’ are trash.
Petty revenge: go into his work spreadsheets and round all the numbers up to an even whole. When he freaks out, tell him “I just thought it looked better that way”
Because I can bet he’s too old to mess with someone else’s stuff without their permission.