Firstly, I’m so so sorry for what happened. This is devastating.

Second, I’m gonna be blunt that I think you are out of line by blaming her. Her daughter was hurt too. She is going through the exact same thing that you are except she’s lost her husband too in the worst possible way. And she’s not the one that did this. If you’re gonna say she “didn’t protect” your daughter then please don’t throw stones from glass houses, because that could easily be turned around on you and your decision to send your daughter there.

You’re also cutting your daughter off from her cousin who loves her, and her aunt who loves her. I get that your emotions are strong but this isn’t the way to go.

It’s times of crises when people reveal who they truly are. Are you gonna be someone who helps makes things better, or someone who hurts those around you because your emotions are out of control?

YTA.

Im really, really, sorry for what happened to your daughter and her cousin.
You’re understandably pissed but you’re looking for someone to blame and missing the obvious person, her husband!
Did you expect your sister to be sleeping with the kids?
Honestly, if she didnt know about it at all this isn’t on her, it could happen to you with your husband for all you know.
You allowed your daughter a sleepover where she should’ve been safe, the person who betrayed your daughter wasnt your sister but your brother in law.
If she’s staying with him that’s different but why are you and her not going to the police together immediately?????
The focus here is all wrong, it needs to be on stopping this from happening again to both the cousin and your daughter, the husband needs to be locked up.
Police and therapy.

I am a child of sexual abuse. My father and mother divorced when I was 5 and he sexually abused me (even in our family home) after they had separated. I did not tell my mom until I was 10, and she had NO IDEA. My mother was a victim as well. She had to live with the fact that this happened to her daughter. Once I told my mom she immediately believed me and called the police and my father was arrested.
I would consider your sister a victim (as this is also happening to her daughter) unless evidence or her behavior suggests otherwise. I’m so sorry this happened to you and your daughter.

Be angry at him, not your sister. She literally had no idea about it. So it’s not really fair to hate her or blame her for it. I mean, what was she supposed to do? Keep him tied down to the bed in case he tried to sneak out and abuse your daughter? If she refuses to leave him, you have every right to cut her off and be angry, but at this point, she hasn’t done anything wrong. However, if she was aware that he‘s had pedophile tendencies for some time and ignored it, she’s definitely beyond redemption.

So… 2 children were sexually assaulated by the husband, your sister didn’t know, and you’re blaming your SISTER for what happened vs your brother in law who actually committed the acts.

Misguided anger.

You stated you filed a police report, good. Let them handle it. But blaming your sister for the acts of another is over broad. You’re blaming another victim for the crimes of another. So long as your sister truely didn’t know, she is a victim as well just of a different crime.

Did you hear about that woman in France who found out after decades that her husband had been drugging her and allowed almost 100 men to rape her? She had no idea. Evil people have a way of hiding who they are, even from those closest to them. Assuming she leaves him, and really didn’t know, she is grieving a huge betrayal. I personally would forgive my sister for not realizing it and try to heal as a family. It’s not her fault.

We don’t know if the sister knew or not. This is the worst possible situation. I am so sorry you and your family are experiencing this. Text or call your sister and find out what she’s feeling and what she intends to do. You could present a united front against this human piece of garbage. Child molesters do NOT deserve any form of concession, but it’s possible your sister does. Please don’t do something you might regret.

While difficult to believe, things like this happen (often) with the other parent being completely clueless. You’re angry your daughter went through this. She now has to deal with knowing that not only did she not protect your daughter, she chose to have a child with a pedophile and her daughter has likely been repeatedly victimized. If she chooses, correctly, to leave, she and your niece will need your support.

Did you sister immediately file for divorce from her husband? If she “didn’t know” and now knows AND her husband molested her (and his) daughter presumably she is divorcing him right and has filed a restraining order to kick him out of the house. If she has done THIS then I would say you are being unfair to your sister. But if she is still with his pedo creep then hell no you are NTA.

NTA I’m glad you took your daughter to the police and now you need to call cps or social services and report that your niece is being sexually abused that he did it to both your daughter and neice at the same time and it’s clear he’s been abusing his daughter for a while. That you can submit the crime number the police have given you if they need proof you went to the police.

Maybe she didn’t know she was married to a perv. Probably she did and chose to ignore it. What matters now is what she does. Does she stay with him, knowing he’s a child predator? Does she toss his creepy ass to the curb? Do not, under any circumstances, just “let it go”. I’d even consider filing a police report because your niece is in imminent danger.

INFO

what will your sister now do regarding her soon to be ex? And what about her kid??

I don’t understand why you blame your sister, when it was her shitty partner. I would only be mad in case my sister would deny everything and also ignore her own kids opinion.

It would be good, if the kid could also go to the police and tell what happened.

My father was like him. He molested and rpd my sister and I for years. Our mother didn’t know. Don’t take this out on her (as long as she holds him accountable, kicks him out, gets him arrested etc). That’s molestation of children. That’s disgusting. He need to be in jail, but as long as she does the right thing you can’t take it out on her.

This is a pretty complex situation that no one can really tell you what you should do. Personally if my sister divorced him and charges were pressed against him. Like she made it very clear where she stood with it then I wouldn’t cut ties. Remember her daughter was touched as well. If she didn’t divorce him then 100% cut ties.

Went through a similar situation, and cutting ties was necessary for my daughter’s safety. Report to the police immediately, and focus on protecting your daughter and niece. Therapy helped us process everything. It’s tough, but prioritizing your child’s well-being is crucial.

Not going to judge you because you’re protecting your daughter. But you need to consider the possibility that your sister didn’t know and your niece is still there. Before you cut ties completely you need to find out if your sister and niece need help.

Report her husband immediately there is no way you are going to let this predator roam free. Also cut your ties with your parents too they are the biggest AH here or enabling this kind of highly unacceptable and inappropriate behavior.

So she’s divorcing him immediately, yes? Thank you for filing a police report right away. This person is a predator and will do the same again if he isn’t locked up.

I’m so sorry that this happened to your daughter. What a scumbag.

Protect your niece!!! Report to CPS and police. Get therapy for your child. I’m so so sorry this is happening to you. If your sister doesn’t know, she is dealing with a really hard time. Please be kind to her

NTA but please consider for a moment that if your sister didn’t know, she’s also just had a bombshell dropped on her. Her husband is molesting her daughter too

HE is the perpetrator, not her

By your logic, you’re an asshole for not protecting your own child at all, from this pedo that you should have know about. You know bc people like that let everyone know they’re pedos.

Why are you blaming your sister for what her husband did? She’s not defending him, she didn’t enable it.
You are blaming a woman for the actions of a man. YTA

Although I don’t blame you for cutting ties, but if she didn’t knew you Ara abandoning your sister who’s daughter was also being abused.

Protect your child.

What?! She didn’t rape them, HE did!!! What are you doing?!? She just found out she married a pedophile, help her leave that sick fuck!!!

I mean it’s not her fault, as long as she does something from here on out. But if she tries to fix things with him absolutely cut ties

I didn’t even have to read the rest of it to know you arnt the asshole. He’s lucky you didn’t show up and kill his disgusting ass.

This is a bit more serious than being an asshole or not. But you figured, you might as well harvest some karma?

Why are you yelling at your sister? Call the police and CPS. Your niece is still in that environment.

It’s what the sister does from here forward if the is redemption. Forgiveness is a different thing

I don’t even need to read the whole paragraph
NTA and he should d. i. e.

So who is it your cousin or your sister? You’re mixing up the family members.

It’s unlikely your sister had no clue. Support your daughter. You’re NTA.

I hope you called the police?? The cousin is still stuck with the perv.

Cut ties. Protect your daughter. Shes the one that matters here

If she leaves the uncle, would that change your perspective?

You’d be an asshole if you didn’t protect your child.

NTA… at all protect yourself daughter. And Updateme!

You might be aiming your anger at the wrong person

NTA. And I’d be rethinking my parents as well.