When a simple mispronunciation becomes the spark for ridicule, the fragile balance shatters. In a moment charged with vulnerability and defiance, she confronts the mockery, revealing the unspoken truth: mastery of language is not just about flawless speech, but about the courage to embrace imperfection and the humility to honor each other’s journeys.
I’m French, living in Paris. My parents are both from Spain and raised me speaking Spanish. And I taught myself English through reading novels and news in English. So I’m perfectly trilingual.
My American friend Max, who’s spending one year studying at La Sorbonne, only speaks English. He often uses me as a French translator for him; he tells me in English what he wants to say, and I repeat it in French to his interlocutor.
Today, I said “awry” like “Ow – ree”, Max found it to be the most hilarious thing and kept making (in my opinion mean) jokes about “oh em gee can you imagine being so bad at English that’s how you pronounce awry?!!”
So after a few minutes of him laughing my butt off at my expense, my patience ran out and I told him: “We are both speaking English because it’s the only language YOU know. I learned English by reading it, rarely hearing it spoken, so of course my prononciation won’t always be flawless.
How flawless is YOUR French prononciation? If you don’t cut it out right now, I will speak to you exclusively in French and only acknowledge your answer when you say it in French, and it better be flawless.
If you make any grammar or pronunciation mistake, however tiny, I will mock you endlessly.”
He did stop mocking me but he pivoted to “Geez, get a sense of humor… There was no need to be so nasty to me… Why would you dangle your multiple languages in front of me, that was mean…”
Conclusion
The Original Poster (OP) felt deeply disrespected and hurt when their friend, Max, mocked their English pronunciation after the OP had provided translation assistance. The OP reacted by setting a firm boundary, threatening to reverse the language dynamic and mock Max’s French in return if the behavior continued.
Was the OP justified in responding to mockery with an equally harsh threat to enforce respect, or did this response escalate the situation unnecessarily? Does the dynamic of one friend relying on the other for translation excuse teasing, or must all communication be respectful, regardless of linguistic skill differences?
Here’s how people reacted:
Your question is specific to your relationship with Max, and therefore it’s hard to say who’s right and who’s wrong based on that one incident, which was written by you and likely fits your narrative of the situation. But if you were offended by that one incident, and this isn’t coming from a long-term frustration with Max, then maybe there were other ways to handle the situation. Conversely, if you’ve been frustrated with Max as a friend/person for some time, and this was you blowing up on him in aggregate, then maybe a conversation regarding what has happened and how you’ve been feeling towards Max is needed. Maybe your ego came out when he made fun of your pronunciation when you take pride in being a self-learned trilingual? Maybe Max doesn’t know when to back off or lets his insecurities win at times? Unless you have a good mutual friend who can be the go-between, only you can learn the answer to that through good communication with Max. But what I can tell from your narrative is that you two have issues you need to resolve with each other and on your own.
If you value Max as a friend, talk to him about the situation in a friendly manner. See what Max has to say about it. Maybe he also has things to say to you?
I think it’s a sin that Max is living in a country for a year and is not making an effort to learn the language. When he was younger, my husband’s company assigned him to the Paris office for 3 years and he took French classes even though all business was conducted in English. He’s not perfectly fluent, but still remembers enough to make himself understood. I think it’s time that Max starts putting himself out there and learning some words in French! He’ll gain an appreciation for how difficult it is to speak in another language.
NTA
Truth is, there’s loads of ways to pronounce English words. The beauty of the language (and my argument as to why most of us don’t bother learning another one) is that native English speakers are very adaptable when a word is mispronounced and can still understand the speaker. When I mispronounce words in French, even if to my ear it sounds perfect, some French speakers I know will act as though I have just made random noises. If you were to have said awry in a way I was not familiar with, it might have taken me a second, but we’d have gotten there.
Only the most priggish of us will deride you for it.
NTA
Besides all of that, English likes to mess with people and change all the rules randomly and for no logical reason, so of course you’re going to get things wrong on occasion.
As for French, I can read it, but my pronunciation is so bad I don’t dare speak it out loud.
through, pronounced “throo,’
enough, pronounced “enuff,”
bough, pronounced “bow,” but the one that rhymes with “cow,’ not the one that rhymes with “toe.” but even though “bow” can rhyme with cow or toe, “cow” never rhymes with “toe, which “tow” does, but that “tow” never rhymes with “cow.”
Also fie on the English name of “Rhys,” which since the “Y’ is long in “rhyme” I thought was pronounced like “rice” or “rise” but apparently is like “Reese,” and the whole hard or soft “s” and the “ch” sound are more cans of worms for English learners.
It’s enough to drive one to drink!
Tell him I said to shut his damn mouth. Until he can speak a second language, he does not get to make fun of anyone, especially a friend who speaks 3 languages!!
You have done very well to learn 3 languages!!
But if he’s one of those people who is hides behind “humor” as a reason for frequently being sarcastic, ridiculing, and mocking others, I’d find a new friend, because that’s just who he is and it will get really old really fast. Plus you don’t want that personality trait to rub off on you!
My close friend is dyslexic, and always tries to correct herself when she mispronounces a word, and I always tell her it’s okay I know what she means, or I’ll repeat the word for her if she’s really struggling to pronounce it.
And yeah, mad respect to ANYONE who can speak any ounce of a second (or third) language. We english speakers tend to be a little entitled unfortunately.
The worst is those Americans who do that 90 Day fiance and its the automatic assumption they aren’t learning their partner’s language…such audacity the American spirit has.
Also, too bad Max would probably not even learn anything from the expression but instead would LOL off the fact that he “*wasn’t even biting anybody at all wtf dude!?*”
My friend (also neighbor and classmate) answered: “Half and half.” The whole truck was shaking from laughing and Michael (my friend) was so embarrassed… Sometimes Americans can be ignorant jerks. Max is one of those.
… when I was 5
Max is typical of every single low IQ, anti-intellectual, incapable, incompetent American, walking around with a confident sense of superiority while lacking any traits or skills that might make one “superior” to another.
Grammar nazis are assholes.
Max is a dick.
This particular one got defensive **and** butthurt.
You speak English because it’s the only language you know.
I speak English because it’s the only language you know.
We are not the same.
It works. Every. Fucking. Time.
good luck
Il est juste jaloux le boug, donc il venait te chercher dessus parce que pour une fois t’es pas aussi bon en langue que tu n’y parais. Fin clairement t’as rien fais de mal
Speak to him only in French.
He can’t respect you he doesn’t get the privilege to understand or communicate with you.
That guy is a huge jerk and worse, he is totally unaware and oblivious of how much of an asshole he is being.
J’espère que Max apprendra à être un peu plus respectueux.
He’s American. He pronounces half of the English language incorrectly.