NTA – I had an employee who did the same. It drove me up the wall. Every single day there was a comment about what I was eating. Every. Single. Day.

On top of that, I’m a Celiac, so I have to be very careful to eat things without gluten. As a result, I’m pretty protective of my food just to keep myself healthy (not to mention that most of it costs more than the regular version). Every day he would joke about stealing my lunch. My go to response was, “Try it and you’ll get a fork in the back of your hand.”

My guess is that the guy is not a very good conversationalist, which is why he keeps talking about your lunch instead of coming up with something else. But that doesn’t make it any less annoying. I feel you, OP.

From a very outside perspective, NAH. Covid was tough on social development and people haven’t fully recovered. We are being thrust back into a world where more people are comfortable with digital interaction, but are still being thrust into physical interactions in a work environment. Some people are OK getting their socialization needs met digitally and for others, they need that interaction to be in person to be meaningful. The problem is that those interactions are now very awkward a lot of the time. It sounds like no harm was meant by either party, but was received by both parties. Communication is key here. It’s not always about what you say, but how the other person receives it.

NTA, but I think he didn’t realise he was being a bit of an AH since jt sounds like he thought he was just making conversation.

In your shoes, I would just follow up with him and say something like “Hey, sorry if I came across a bit harsh about the food thing, I know you were just trying to make conversation – it’s just it makes me a bit self conscious to get constant comments on my food. I don’t want you to feel like we can’t chat, it’s just this one thing that was bothering me and I wanted to tell you.”

It could be that you came across harsher or more serious than you meant to when you told him to stop, so it may be worth just trying to smooth it over.

I don’t think it is about food, it is his way of talking about food.

Seeing a salad, he shouldn’t mention “diet” instead he could ask about healthy eating, how do you like salads and how do you make it tasty.

Leftovers? “Oh what did you guys order last night?” “I love this cuisine” and not about fancy meals.

Cooking? He could talk about recipes etc and not about “cooking so much”.

Intention and details of the topic are in hand.

No different than asking about a culture but coming across as judgmental instead of inquisitive.

To be honest you don’t owe this coworker anything but if he has trouble filling in silence he can he educated on this.

I didn’t snap at him or yell—I just said it calmly because it was really starting to bother me. It wasn’t just an occasional comment, it was every single day, and I was tired of it.

I get that some people just talk to fill the silence, but I don’t see why my food needs to be a topic of conversation every time I sit down to eat. If I commented on everything he ate, I doubt he’d enjoy it.

I’m not mad at him, I just wanted it to stop. But now I feel like I made it into a bigger deal than it had to be.

I think NAH – you told him to stop commenting on your food and he didn’t realize it was bothering you (based on his surprise). If he keeps going, then he is the asshole.

I personally think it’s a weird conversation starter, especially because food can be very sensitive. But maybe he’s just socially awkward and didn’t realize. If you’re concerned, you could just pull him aside and say you didn’t mean to be harsh (you did call it annoying), food is just sensitive and it’s making you uncomfortable.

You didn’t handle the situation well. Even though it was annoying, oftentimes silence is the better part of valor. You let it child until you snapped. You should have approached him quietly on an individual basis and spoken politely to him that it bothered you. You embarrassed him.

I imagine he’s either the office cross fitter that can’t help himself commenting in everyone’s health or an awkward person trying to break the ice.

YTA for how you handled it but not for wanting him to stop.

NTA. I totally get how that can feel. When you’re just trying to enjoy your lunch in peace, it’s a bit much when someone won’t stop making comments about it every single day. Maybe try chatting with him about something else? Like maybe sharing a funny story from the weekend or asking what he thinks about the new movie out. Sometimes giving people other topics can help shift their focus and give you that little break you need

NTA. But I agree with everyone that says he probably is socially awkward. What people bring for lunch is an easy topic of conversation. The nice thing to do is to privately speak with him. Since you noticed his reaction. Maybe explain why it was so annoying and intrusive. Of course, you aren’t obligated to be nice you weren’t in the wrong. Sometimes, though, it feels good to take the high road.

Him commenting on food like that can be really damaging, honestly. I’ve been in the place where if somebody made a remark like that, it’d be a real struggle to get myself to eat it. He needs to know that making comments about a food being “heavy” or “diet food” isn’t appropriate, especially when you don’t really know what kind of relationship a person has with food.

Tell your coworkers that have offered unsolicited comments to STFU as well (but more professionally) because you didn’t ask them. If they want their food critiqued daily, it is up to them but you don’t and you established a boundary. And a male co-worker commenting that you are on a diet (when you bring a salad) can be taken as food shaming and potential harassment.

YTA.

This was not your best moment.

You work in a small group and thought it would be a good idea to embarrass one of your co-workers?

Over innocuous comments about lunch?

In the grand scheme of things, is this something that was so earth-shattering that you just had to say something?

Nta

Do not comment on people’s food choices. You have no idea what they could be dealing with.

I once had to have a meeting because this girl was horrid.

I had to explain my history of an eating disorder to my supervisors. They realized how bad this girl was.

Have a co worker who came into the room and asked what I was eating. He peered over my shoulder and said “wow that looks like dog shit”. I told him I had not asked for his unsolicited opinion and to shut the fuck up. He never said another word about my food.

Commenting on someone’s food constantly and asking someone you don’t know well if they’re on a diet is just weird. You did the right thing to say something, your colleagues are probably people pleasers.

It sounds more like small talk than him analyzing. I have socially awkward coworkers who do the same. I get your frustration, but there was probably a better way to address it.

YTA. It was nerve that serious and the guy was literally just trying to make conversation, if you’re that bothered by eating with your coworkers eat out in your car.

NTA – I have colleagues who love asking what I’m having and then went on about how horrible their lunch is. I mean, not my fault if you don’t cook/ prep like me.

Considering pretty much everyone is saying you were too harsh I’m guessing you were not as friendly and calm saying this to him as you think you were

NTA. I also find it annoying when people comment on my food. Feels like an invasion of privacy. Eating is a highly personal experience.

Some ppl have eating disorders, not saying that OP does, but I would also find it irksome and I would have snapped as well

NTA. He has no other conversation except around food

“How ‘bout them dawgs’ is a good one.

You weren’t out of line.

If that’s the only type of conversation he’s capable of, he’s maybe the most boring person alive.

I felt hostile towards him just reading your first few comments. This would drive me crazy.

You did not overreact. I’m glad you said something. If he retaliates report him to HR.

NTA, your lunch is none of his business….unless you’re microwaving fish or something

You’re not the asshole. Who comments on other people’s lunch every damn day anyway?

NTA. That crap gets on my nerves and that’s why I used to eat alone at my desk.

NTA.

Matt has never been told to mind his own business and it shows

NTA, you made a polite request, if he took it poorly that’s on him.

NTA he needs to mix up his small talk that sounds exhausting.

Some people hate small talk. I’m one of those people. Nta.

NTA, it would get on my nerves if that happened to me

NTA he was being annoying and needed telling to stop

nta you have the right to tell him to knock it off

NTA

That guy is shit at conversation.