Yet, loyalty and duty clashed in the harsh light of day, as his mother’s harsh judgment weighed heavily on him. Torn between old ties and new commitments, he faced the relentless storm of expectations, standing resolute in the face of a world that demanded he choose sides.
My ex girlfriend of 2 years ago randomly called me at 3am on Friday night asking (very drunk) if I could come get her because she lost her cards and cash and needed a ride home.
I woke up with my very pregnant wife next to me completely pissed and even if my wife wasn’t next to me I didn’t leave the last relationship on good terms so I said nope sorry I’m not your guy and hung up.
To make sure she was safe I texted her bro who I’m on good terms with and who I knew was awake playing Fifa and he replied back straight away letting me know he’d get her home.
Went back to sleep, the next day my mom called me very sternly telling me off that I did a despicable thing and that I should have picked up my ex no matter what. My ex’s mom and my mom are friends so maybe she found out that way I’m not sure, but I said hell no it’s not my responsibility to make sure random people are safe especially not when my pregnant wife is next to me feeling all kinds of what the fuck.
My mom is usually real calm and collected but she was firm in telling me I was wrong and the asshole. I’m so weirded out by her behavior I feel I need to ask if IATA?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) prioritized the immediate needs and comfort of their current relationship, specifically their very pregnant wife, by refusing a late-night call from an intoxicated ex-partner needing a ride. This action directly conflicts with the expectations set by the OP’s mother, who believes the OP had a moral obligation to assist the ex regardless of the context or current obligations.
Was the OP justified in protecting their current marriage and setting a boundary with an ex-partner, or did their mother’s demand for altruistic intervention override their personal responsibilities and relationship loyalty?
Here’s how people reacted:
>but I said hell no it’s not my responsibility to make sure random people are safe especially not when my pregnant wife is next to me feeling all kinds of what the fuck.
This is an asshole attitude and if your wife agrees, you should seriously reconsider reproducing. A human being’s safety is important and should be taken seriously.
Even if you were single, no one would blame you for not picking her up. Why does she even have your phone number still? She has friends and family to help her out, and at the very least one of those people could pay for a cab for her. She’s not your responsibility.
I just have one question… Why do you still have her number?
Edit: I’m sorry for assuming you have her number, at the time I hadn’t remembered there could be other possibilities.
If your mom and her mom are so concerned about her safety, maybe they should be your ex’s first point of contact for when she needs help at 3am.
only because you checked with her brother. otherwise you should have helped, UNLESS this is a habit.
if it was out of the blue and she was in real trouble, you should have tried to help. im giving you a pass because you gave the brother a heads up. but you could have also TOLD HER that.
Messaging her brother was a decent thing to do so she wasn’t left in an unsafe situation. Not sure why your mother is acting like that – assume she got a slightly different version of the story? But even so she shouldn’t be telling you off.
And how do you think you are an asshole if you resolved the situation? If you hadn’t found the bro, then it’s at least possible.