Next door, her neighbor’s chaotic life spills over in loud bursts and unstable income, a stark contrast to the quiet desperation she feels inside. Yet, despite the noise and tension, there’s a complicated bond of love and survival weaving them together, each struggling in their own way to hold on to a place they can call home.
I (26F) have been living in a townhouse that I absolutely love for about a year now. For some background, I was in an abusive relationship a few years back. He stole my identity and rented out multiple apartments in my name.
They all ended in evictions. I had been fighting in court to get them expunged in early 2020, so you can fill in the blanks with what happened to my court dates.
I finally have a few expunged but I’m still not able to rent easily. I was homeless for almost two years until I found this house. The thought of losing it destroys me.
My neighbor Jackie (36F) is a single mom of three kids. She “can’t work” because she doesn’t like living in areas you wouldn’t need a car to get around in and can’t drive thanks to a DUI.
So, she catfishes men and begs for money for a living. It isn’t exactly a stable income. She’s been on the verge of eviction for the last year because she never pays on time. I love her dearly, however she and her kids can be extremely loud and rude.
She also has a (poorly trained) dog and has multiple animals that she doesn’t care for. Because of her evictions, criminal background and lack of money, moving wouldn’t be easy for her either.
Our landlord recently sold our building and was under the impression the buyers wanted to keep us as tenants. We found out after closing that they’re kicking everyone out at the end of our leases to remodel so they can raise the rent.
My soon to be former landlord has another building with one apartment unit a few miles away. He told me he knows it’ll be hard for me to find somewhere else to go and offered me that apartment at a slightly below market rate to make up for it.
My neighbor found out and started calling me an asshole for accepting the apartment when she has nowhere else to go. She called our landlord an asshole for offering it to me instead of a family.
I understand where she’s coming from, however from a landlord’s perspective he could choose to take on someone who’s always caused problems or someone quiet that’s always a few months ahead on rent.
She also mentioned that since it’s two bedrooms and I live alone that we should split it. I’m a full time student and work 50 hours a week on top of school. I’ll never get any rest or work done if I share my space with three screaming kids.
Not to mention 4 people in one bedroom doesn’t sound pleasant.
I’m torn. I absolutely can see her point, but from the sound of it my landlord wouldn’t rent to her again even if he had 100 open units. AITA if I take this apartment?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) faces a difficult choice between securing stable housing, which is critical due to past homelessness and financial instability, and addressing the emotional plea of a struggling neighbor. The central conflict lies in the OP prioritizing their own essential need for security against the neighbor’s expressed expectation of being prioritized for the housing opportunity.
Given the immediate threat of homelessness for the OP versus the neighbor’s pattern of instability, is the OP justified in accepting the landlord’s offer to secure their own housing, or does a moral obligation exist to yield the apartment to the neighbor who has three children and no other apparent options?
Here’s how people reacted:
She has made her choices and it’s not your responsibility to pick her up. You have shown the quality person that you are and your landlord sees that and that’s why he’s offering you the place.
Do NOT under any circumstances share with that woman and her children. It will break you when you have been given a golden opportunity to lift yourself up. Take that opportunity, it’s yours.
I hope that you can get the rest of the matters expunged and that you have a wonderful life from here on in.
Just take the apartment, be grateful your landlord is helping you and get on with your life. Leave the walking catastrophe in your past.
NTA
She is in a tough spot, but it is not your responsibility to give up your apartment so that she can have it, and it sounds like the landlord has made a business decision to keep the tenant who pays on time and never bothers anyone.
ETA: she is exactly the same person as your ex who stole your identity and made a mess of your life
It was your landlords decision to lend you that one unit and you have no reason whatsoever to refuse that offer because you got chosen instead of someone else, I won’t really say anything about the single mother as she could have just lost her nerve after finding out that she and her 3 kids would end up on the streets.
You are NTA.
There’s probably a reason why the landlord didn’t offer it to her.
Your neighbors shitty life choices are not your problem.
If you didn’t take it, the landlord would likely rent it to someone else entirely, not her.
What an entitled person she is.