Despite his financial edge, he remained grounded, navigating friendships with a quiet generosity that spoke volumes. He understood the delicate balance between celebrating milestones and respecting the varied realities of those around him. In these moments of shared laughter and simple meals, he found a deeper connection that money alone could never buy.
I was lucky enough to get a great job after I graduated. I make pretty good money and my job is challenging but fun.
Some of my friends didn’t bother with college and some who did go chose less lucrative fields.
I’m not rich or anything. I’m not buying a Porsche any time soon. I just have a good salary and very few bills since I still live at home.
I got a very nice hiring bonus when I was recruited and I took my friends out for, what I made clear, was a one time celebration.
Every once in a while I get together with my friends and go to a restaurant. We usually end up splitting the bill. I don’t drink a lot so I might have a beer with my meal but that’s it.
I know they don’t al have disposable income like I do so I usually also cover the tip. They tend to go overboard. Like one girl orders five or six drinks over the course of the meal.
And she will order appetizers “for the table”. I never eat the appetizers because they are almost always deep fried and I tend to avoid that stuff. It is also common for one of us to leave and just cash app or leave money for the bill.
Last Saturday we went out to a nice Mexican place. The food was excellent and my margarita was delicious. That girl brought her girlfriend and a couple of the guys brought their girlfriends.
I mentioned that I had to have an early night. After we finished eating I hung around until everyone started ordering more drinks and desserts and stuff. And I’m not joking here one girl ordered a to go meal for her roommate.
I excused myself and went to the bathroom. Afterwards I paid my bill at the front of the house and bailed.
I started getting texts about 45 minutes later. The bill came and they wanted to split it. I told them I already paid and had to leave. My bill was $55 including tip. The three guys and the girl were going to be splitting the remaining $640.
They wanted to split their guests bill as well. The other guy who didn’t invite someone was saying it wasn’t fair for him to split the bill when I didn’t. I said that I had paid my food bill and I wasn’t going to give more.
They ended up each paying their own bill and one guy ended up paying for his, his date’s, and her roommate’s food. He is especially salty about the situation.
The other single guy also ended up just paying for his own stuff and he is also in their bad books.
I feel bad for leaving without saying goodbye but if I had stuck around I would be subsidizing food for strangers.
Edit
I’m sorry if I offended anyone with the term Irish exit. I didn’t know it was an insult.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is facing a conflict between maintaining their financial boundaries and preserving friendships. The OP feels justified in leaving when group expenses escalated beyond their personal spending plan, especially since they had already covered their own portion and the tip. Conversely, the friends feel slighted because the OP departed before the final, large bill was settled, leading to an uneven distribution of the remaining high costs, which the OP effectively avoided subsidizing.
Was the OP correct in prioritizing their pre-established personal spending limit and leaving early to avoid subsidizing significant group overspending, or did this action violate the shared social contract of the outing, causing unnecessary financial strain and resentment among the friends who remained to cover the inflated total?
Here’s how people reacted:
That said, your friends expecting the five of you to split the cost of meals for three guests was even more of an AH move. If they wanted to split evenly, it should have been divided eight ways and the three people who brought guests should have each paid for two shares while you and the other unaccompanied guy each paid for one. That would have bumped your total up to $87 or so.
And even that should have required your consent. It should not have been expected especially when you said earlier that it would have to be an early night for you.
That said, there were only two ways for you to avoid being an AH. You could have asked for a separate check from the start. Or you could have behaved like an adult and used words to tell your friends you would only be paying for yourself. If you had said that before you left, they might not have racked up such a big bill.
Edit: I stand corrected.
Yeah, because he was trying to get everyone else to pay for it and failed. He’d also be salty if he tried to steal $100 out of your wallet and you caught him.
NTA. Yes, it would have been better to be more direct, but the reason for their upset isn’t because you left without saying anything, it’s for failing to subsidize their greed. If you want to hang around these people again, just be blunt from the start that it’s separate checks.
Sneaking out might not have been the greatest but by the same token, how much more courtesy do you owe some clowns who not only presumed you were going to foot a big chunk of the bill, but ran it up for that exact reason?
As someone else who MAYBE has a single drink with a meal, when you go out and everyone expects you to split a bill that includes excessive numbers of drinks, it’s an AH move on their part.
If everyone basically gets the same thing, splitting things evenly between the group is fine.
absolutely you should not have had to pay for anyone but yourself. They suck for trying to take advantage.
But you didn’t need to ghost. You could have been –
an adult and said, “I’m on a budget, I’ll foot my own bill, but I can’t cover anybody else’s.”
NTA, but just be upfront with your “friends”.
But I feel like you should have gone back to the table and said I paid for my portion, good to see you guys, I have an early morning. Other than that, you’re not expected to pay anyone else’s bills so they have no cause to be upset.
You’re wise enough to not get taken advantage of.
Fuck them, they’re taking advantage of you.
Your friends for taking advantage and you for not just growing a backbone and saying “I can’t pay for everyone all the time”.
Also the phrase “Irish exit” is kind of bigoted and ignorant.
I hate people who know either the meal will be split or paid for by the host but still order a meal to go. My blood boils thinking of how many dinners I had dealing with the entitlement.
>I’m sorry if I offended anyone with the term Irish exit. I didn’t know it was an insult.
Wut? Can anyone explain? – because Google is lending no help.