Amidst their shared passion for gaming, a new desire surfaces—a symbol of their unity and future. Yet, beneath the excitement of upgrading to a PS5 lies the quiet tension of unequal means, testing the strength of their bond and the true meaning of partnership.
My boyfriend (26m) and I (26f) have been together for about 8 months. We live together but have split financials.
I worked hard and went to college, which is why I have a well paid job. When I met my boyfriend he didn’t have a serious job, but he worked hard so we could live together and he now has a job with a decent income.
He makes less than me and the rent etc. are divided pro rata. I paid for the first month of our rent (alone) and for our holidays and he still has to pay me back, but there’s no rush as I don’t need the money right away.
We really love gaming together. He plays on his ps4 and I play on my nintendo switch. He mentioned he would like to buy a ps5 together so we can ditch the switch, because it’s lagging alot.
We did not talk about who would play on the ps4 and who would play on the ps5, but the costs would be split in half. I also said I would love to have a ps5, since I play on the switch and it sucks.
My boyfriend does not have enough money and still had to pay me back for the vacation, so we dropped the subject.
But since we’ve been gaming alot, my switch is starting to annoy me. The console is slow and it does not have enough capacity to load my games. That’s why I decided to buy a ps5. I have more than enough savings to do so.
I texted my boyfriend I wanted to buy a ps5 later that day and I did.
Now my boyfriend’s pissed cause he wanted to buy a ps5 together. It would take several months before he would have enough savings, which is why I bought it myself. He also asked if the ps5 belonged to the both of us or just me.
I responded that the ps5 is mine untill he pays half of it, but he can always play on it if I’m not home. He got upset by this and said he was dissapointed and I am being unreasonable.
So, AITA for buying a ps5 without my boyfriend and saying it’s mine?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) faced a situation where her desire to upgrade her gaming experience conflicted with her boyfriend’s plan to purchase the same item collaboratively over time. Her decision to buy the PlayStation 5 alone, using her own savings, led to her boyfriend feeling betrayed because he viewed the purchase as a shared asset they were working towards.
The core debate centers on whether the OP was justified in making a unilateral purchase of a desired shared item when a joint plan was in place, or if her boyfriend’s emotional reaction is valid given the implied agreement and the financial history between them. Was the OP’s independent action a necessary solution to her immediate frustration or an undermining of their partnership goals?
Here’s how people reacted:
If this was my long-time partner, I’d feel disappointed too. It rly doesn’t seem like he’s a mooch or a “looser” like other commenters are saying. He wanted you guys to have a PS5 together, to make the investment together too. It just seem strange, the possessiveness over the item. You have more than enough savings, why can’t you share? Why can’t this be a loving thing you share together?
Buy 2 remotes and play a split screen game. If you’re this concerned, then, it’s yours most of the time. Idk this all seems so weirdly childish for somebody you love
Your BF is being unreasonable. Nothing is stopping him from buying his own PS5 if he so chooses, which would be more than if splitting it but oh well. He’s getting plenty of benefits from living with you as it is, since you’re floating a decent amount of his expenses. It’s high time he stop acting like you owe him anything on that front because you’ve already been generous. Maybe tell him you didn’t feel like waiting for him to scrape together the money knowing he’s owed you other money for months as it is.
You’ve said he can use it when he wants and have ownership when he can afford it. I don’t see what the problem is. He should be thankful your salary and hard work has allowed both of you to enjoy the PS5 sooner than if you waited for him to save.
I think he’s just insecure about money and probably feels like you just buying a PS5 whilst he’s still catching up on his debt to you is making him feel inferior. That’s a him problem, not a you problem. You’re an adult with adult money that you worked hard for and can spend it as you please.
Maybe you should tell him he can’t play on the PS5 until he can afford it, since he seems so keen to “bite the hand that feeds him”.
8 months isn’t very long. If you didn’t live together yet but were thinking about it, I’d encourage you to wait longer. He’s already relying on you financially. To me, there are some pink flags here. Be careful.
There will be plenty of situations where you have the financial means and he doesn’t given your current income disparity. That’s not a reason why you can’t spend your own money and have your own independence.
As for it being yours, it is.
I can understand why he would be upset, especially if he saw buying something together as a milestone in your relationship- that’s definitely worth a discussion as to why it means more to him than it did to you.
You could’ve simply said that your man owes you money so that’s why you decided to just buy the P5 instead of waiting for him to gather the money. All the exposition about you going to college and having a better job just came off hella condescending.
It’s just expectation management – at no point do you have to do what someone else wishes. But at least let them know beforehand – people don’t like surprises (like a new PS5 turning up in the living room, nobody likes that)
2. It’s ok there’s no rush = Reflect February 1st.
3. Ditch the switch?/ It Sux?/ It’s lagging? = * Her switch is gone 😔 post.
4. Who plays 4 & 5 = Laugh out loud.
5. “Awe man, you bought it?! Wheres COD? Awe man, damn.”
6. Who’s is it? = 👀 . . .
*You’ve earned a trophy 🏆 ATAH 🎮*
Honestly, I believe you should retain solo ownership. Together for eight months does not mean together forever. It also clarifies who plays on it and when. And who buys the games. And foots a repair bill.
I’m single and live alone so I don’t know much about “sharing is caring”, but I’m definitely not comfortable sharing consoles or tech.
My couple friends each have their own individual consoles as well.