Amidst the innocence of childhood and the sanctity of family, a young boy’s secret transgression casts a long, unsettling shadow. The clash between appearances and reality ignites a storm of doubt and disbelief, shaking the foundation of trust that binds the residents. In this intimate struggle, the story lays bare the complex emotions that arise when betrayal comes not from strangers, but from those closest to home.
All of this starts 2 days ago, the day before yesterday. Schools are open in our area. I live in a 3-bedroom house. My husband and I rent one, and the other two are rented by a couple and their 3 kids, 5F, 9F, and 16M.
We have a minifridge in our room and it stores things we don’t want others to have access to, like alcohol. We have a lot of alcohol. The locks on the doors are really shitty, they’re just those inside doors you can open with a bobby pin, and the landlord won’t let us change them.
My husband and I were in the backyard, and our door was locked from the inside.
Unbeknownst to us, our roommates’ son, who is 16 unlocked our door and snuck inside. He stole 5 bottles of wine, a bottle of rum, 3 bottles of vodka, and 2 bottles of whiskey. I didn’t notice until I got a drink that night.
The next day (yesterday) I asked my roommate about it. She told me that she and her husband don’t drink and her kids are angels and would never do something like that. However, yesterday night her son snuck out around 10, when he was supposed to be asleep.
She didn’t find out until he came in drunk at 2 am. She asked him where he was, how he got drunk, and where that alcohol came from. He fessed up and told her that he got it from our room when we were outside.
This morning, she comes to me and tells me about what happened.
I, foolishly believing that she’s going to apologize, tell her that it’s not a problem and teenagers do stupid things sometimes. Instead, she tells me that it’s my fault for tempting him by having alcohol.
She says that I need to get rid of all the alcohol in my room because her little angel is tempted to drink because of that. I tell her it’s my room and the lease specifically states that we can’t go in each other’s rooms without permission.
She said that he’s just a kid and it’s our responsibility as adults to keep him away from bad things like alcohol. Once again, I tell her that I am not responsible for her son, and I will not throw away a mini-fridge full of alcohol because he can’t keep his hands to himself.
She says I’m an asshole for having alcohol in a home where children also live and it could really harm her younger children if they get to it, they could even die if they drink enough of it.
Am I the asshole?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is facing a severe breach of privacy and property theft committed by their roommate’s teenage son, who illegally entered their locked private space to steal a large amount of alcohol. The conflict escalates when the roommate shifts blame onto the OP, asserting that the presence of alcohol is tempting and places responsibility on the OP to remove it for the safety of her children.
Is the OP responsible for removing their legally stored property because their roommate’s child stole it, or does the sole responsibility for the child’s actions and adherence to house rules lie entirely with the parents? Which viewpoint correctly balances personal rights within a shared living situation against parental obligations for supervision?
Here’s how people reacted:
It is not your responsibility or obligation to keep alcohol away from her child, the fact that it was in your private room behind a locked door makes her suggestion that you are somehow responsible go from unreasonable to laughable. You need to make it clear that if her child enters your room again like that it will be a police issue.
Lastly, millions of teens live in homes with alcohol. Boundaries and supervision are what is needed to manage that not trying to control the legal and reasonable behavior of others. Your roommate needs to get a grip.
I would begin seeking alternative living arrangements as soon as you are able. Both parent and child seem to have issues that seem likely to escalate and worth getting distance from.
NTA, OP. For one thing, you are the victim here. Honestly, I’m having trouble blaming their son for this here because teenagers so stupid things like this. A lot of parents who don’t drink also don’t talk to their kids about alcohol and drugs beyond, “It’s bad; don’t do it.”
But if there are minors in the house it’s your responsibility to keep alcohol locked. You can justly say that you thought your bedroom lock was sufficient, but now that you know it’s not, you need to install a lock on the mini-fridge. Depending on the laws where you live, YOU could be held responsible for furnishing alcohol to a minor, as well as any damages that occurred as a result. You need to protect yourself.
Also, the parents should reimburse you for the alcohol he stole. But it sounds like they’re AHs so that’s not likely to happen.
Please call the police and notify your landlord. Nta
In any case, why can’t you just new doorknobs from Home Depot and install them? I’d probably reach out to your landlord about this event preemptively and say you’re going to do that but will put the old ones back after.
Kids do stupid stuff, he should see some consequences for that. I wouldn’t call the cops, but I’m also not from the US so maybe the laws are different here…but he stole and distributed the alcohol, there is nothing OP can be „charged“ for in my country. On the other hand, a drink a day is alcoholic behavior so I would get help.