AITAH for “not caring” about my neighbor’s daughter sunbathing while being watched?

On a street where childhood memories are etched into every corner of the playground and baseball field, the innocence of youth thrives amidst laughter and friendship. It’s a haven where kids bike freely, their days filled with games and camaraderie, a place untouched by the harshness of the outside world.

Yet beneath this idyllic scene, a fragile boundary is crossed—a young woman’s privacy shattered by the curious eyes of neighborhood boys. The moment exposes the delicate line between innocence and respect, forcing a community to confront the lessons of empathy and the profound impact of their actions.

AITAH for "not caring" about my neighbor's daughter sunbathing while being watched?

We all live on a street that abutts a baseball field. All the kids grew up playing there and when no games are going on, its basically an official hangout. Theres a big blacktop area, basketball courts, the baseball diamond, Foursquare, hopscotch and a giant playground.

We live in a safe area so it’s not uncommon for there to be 2 dozen kids ages 10-14, who all rode their bikes over.

One of the neighbors has a 22 yr old daughter. Ill include her attractiveness only because its relevant. She’s a stunningly beautiful young lady.

Apparently she sunbathe in her back yard nudes while her parents are at work. There is an old cedar fence next to an old chain link fence and there are voids where you can see into their yard.

So the neighbor father stopped me the other day to tell me my son and a bunch of his buddies were all watching his nude daughter through the fence. I told him I’d speak to my kid, which I did.

Sat him down and explained he was violating her privacy and she’s allowed to be nude without being creeped on. If I found out hes back at the fence, he’ll no longer have access to this field, which would be devastating to him.

Yesterday the same neighbor said its continuing to happen, basically daily. I asked if my son was involved and he said its tough for her to tell. I called my son on speaker in front of him and he was adamant, ADAMANT he hasn’t been back.

I can read my son like a book. I know when he’s lying and when hes defending himself from being falsely accused. I believe him. I hung up and continued to talk to the neighbor. Told him I’m not sure what he’s looking for from me, and i can’t help him.

Which he was pissed about.

But WTF. Yes shes allowed to be nude in her yard BUT, there are literally dozens of preteen boys next door. You would need armed guards to stop them all gathering at the fence.

Am I responsible to try to parent every other boy, some I dont even know? I did my part. If it was my daughter, I’d probably ask she remain in a bathing suit while sunbathing. Maybe some of you will hate that answer but when the beautiful college girl is named 50′ from a bunch of horny boys, what else am I supposed to do about it??

Here’s how people reacted:

Riker_Omega_Three

Pop on over to R/Legaladvice

I googled this because I was curious and a lawyer’s website I found had the following to say

***The laws in most states prohibit nudity in public places. Your backyard is considered a public place if your nudity is visible to others, for example, through an open window or sunbathing in the yard while naked.***

So my best piece of advice would be to find out if it’s legal or not…and if it is not…even if its vauge…contact the non emergency police line and let the cops deal with this bullshit

How you, me, her parents or any of the other posters feel about nudity is moot

If it’s not legal or vague enough that the cops will recommend she wear a bathing suit as to not cause problems…then let the police deal with it so you don’t have to

Emotional_Setting_74

NTA. The neighbor (dad) has 3 options, either talk to his daughter to put a bathing suit on; sit back and watch how boys oogle his daughter; or build a better fence. The daughter is in her right to sunbathe nude in HER backyard, but her and the father need to understand that the field is opened to the public. If there are cracks or gaps or holes in the fence where people can see his nude daughter, it falls on the father to put up a better fence. Neighbors with sons are under no obligation to fix a fence that is not theirs or stop peeping.
Not your monkey, not your circus.

RayEd29

NTA

I would tell the neighbor this “If you don’t want teenage boys ogling your daughter, your choices are as follows: 1) Fix the fence so the horny teenagers can’t see her, 2) You can stand guard over there and chase them away while she sunbathes, or 3) Tell your daughter to put some clothes on.

What is NOT an option is putting the burden on ME to keep people I have no authority over from peeping on your daughter. My son was involved. I addressed that issue – he is no longer peeping – if that’s not good enough, YOU need to be the one to do something about it.

wunderer80

I’m honestly wondering if you’re a little bit the asshole to your kid. I think the talk was super important. But now everyone gets to enjoy the free show but him. Like everyone involved knows about everyone else. At this point it’s consensual. Maybe not for the father, but like everyone else has said, he can solve that problem by repairing the multiple fence holes. Your kid may not be old enough to consent legally (depends on your state), but he clearly wasn’t logging any objections. Of course this invites a slippery slope.

Due-Yoghurt4916

Ummm you are NOT allowed to be naked in any space viewable by the public. Its called indecent exposure and its no different than a man flashing his willy at little girls from his fron door. His daughter is breaking the law and he is allowing it to happen. Just laugh when the law shows up and he cries about jail time or fines. Holy crap how do the other parents feel about a grown woman contributing to the delinquency of their children?

MAKSassy

WTF? Get a better fence. Nail a towel up over the space. Tell her to wear a bathing suit. Call the police. Go yell at the kids while it’s happening.

There are at least 5 other answers that are more effective than calling on you to handle the situation. It’s his problem.

And if she knows, then she’s an exhibitionist who should be arrested for flashing underage boys.

GardenSafe8519

Boys will be boys and you can’t parent anyone’s kid but your own. Her beauty has nothing to do with it. Boys will peep a nude girl even if she’s ugly. It’s not her face they’re looking at. Suggest to the neighbor that he fix the fence so there’s no peep holes. Until then she will have to deal with the kids watching her or she can cover up.

avid-learner-bot

The post is about whether it’s wrong to not stop preteen boys from watching a neighbor’s nude daughter sunbathe through a fence. NTA, because you can’t control other kids or their parents’ decisions, suggest the neighbor either fix the fence or cover up, but that’s on them, not you. What would you do if you were in that situation?

Not-a-Cranky-Panda

I kind of think if no one was watching she’d not do it.She’s next to a children’s area with no real fence there and keeps doing it.

Think about it if it was a 22 year old man doing this people would be calling the police on him exposing himself to children. So why is this any different?

PerfectCover1414

This is creepy. A grown woman displays herself to children daily. If she cared she’d put a tarp over the fence or a screen around her sunbed, this is intentional. This is disturbing to me and I detest the double standard. Imagine if the boys’ parents reported her to the cops!

Cephandrius13

So let me get this straight. A woman who is not related to you is sunbathing on property that is not yours, while some young boys who are not related to you are watching from other property that is also not yours?

NTA. People need to take responsibility for themselves.

Rddtlvscensor2

Swap the genders and I’m pretty sure they’d be pitchforks for the creepy man sitting naked in the vicinity of underage girls. She’s an adult making a questionable choice. Are the kids fully in the right? Not exactly, but I don’t think it’s any fault of ops whatsoever

FinancialCamel7281

NTA sorry but next time, just tell him to put out flyers, to stop the boys peeping 🤣. Honestly his daughter clearly doesn’t care, she must like the attention. Otherwise she would cover up her vulnerable bits, she doesn’t need a sack cloth, just enough to cover things

ScaredCaterpillar136

YTA for the title where you claim not to care, but you actually cared the exact amount. You talked to your kin about what is expetced of him and corrected his behavior, the rest is not in your hands.

Sounds like your neighbor should invest in a better fence.

BG3restart

NTA. Can’t she just erect a screen so she’s hidden from view, or patch the holes where kids are looking through? I’d have thought her dad would do this rather than expecting a load of teens not to look. Either way, it’s not your responsibility.

FunAd5095

NTA. He’s pissed because he knows his daughter is a ho. If one of those boys stuck their dick through the fence, she’d feign outrage and then jerk him off. She’s putting on a show for the boys and she damn well knows it.

Significant_Bid2142

In your shoes I would turn it on him and call the police to accuse the girl of indecent exposure while she knows that young kids are playing nearby and their fence is see-through. That should calm them down.

helloitsnani

If there are a bunch of boys just outside my fence, giggling, making comments, etc. I would hear them. She probably knows they’re watching. If it bothers you so much talk to her parents.

hedwigflysagain

NTA, but she is repeatedly sun bathing nude where she knows children can see her. That sounds like it could end up with her in jail. They live next to a park so they don’t get a pass.

Far-Independence-429

NTA. What kind of dumbass 22-year-old sunbathes naked next to a park and expects privacy.

Sounds like it’s all the neighbors problem to me. He can get his fence fixed.

No-Gain-1087

She’s dosent want to be watched tell her to wear a bathing suite but I bet she’s enjoying it a little , driving all the little horn toads crazy

iknowshitaboutshit

It could be considered indecent exposure etc. especially if she knows people can see her. If there’s underage kids involved, call the police.

FairyFartDaydreams

ESH Did anyone try warning the girl? She might have headphones on and may not realize or she might get a thrill out of it which is even worse

SaturnnzXx

I looked it up rq and even if it’s their private property it’s 100% still indecent exposure if she can be seen by the public

mynameisnotsparta

This is on the dad of the nudist. He can line the fence from his side with non see through material or replace the fence.

CarAlternative5684

Are you friends with the girl? Maybe you can tell her or her parents about what’s going on so they can fix the fence.

Not-a-Cranky-Panda

You notice not one of her family has done one thing to stop it and she’s so upset by it she’s doing it every day.

Sweet_and_Sassy88

A 22 year old going out in their yard nude in front of a bunch of kids? Sounds like a pedophile to me.

Bitter-Paramedic-531

NTA. Not your daughter, not your garden, not your son, not your fence, not your responsibility.

ButterscotchFluffy59

That’s horrible. What’s the address so I can verify the fence is high enough??

Many-Pirate2712

$50 on amazon can buy a black fence cover and his problem would be sloved

Additional_Ad9736

Lot’s of sl*t shaming and enabling grape culture in this comment section.

AFAM_illuminat0r

Get the beeotch a spit roaster, so the pig can get an all over tan 😉

falconshadow21

What’s the address? Need to see for myself to properly assess.

Metnut

Let’s be real here. She knows exactly what she’s doing.

ModsBeGheyBoys

Sounds like a scene for an 80’s comedy honestly.

NTA

jensmith20055002

Call the cops on her for indecent exposure to minors.

howanonymousisthis

Bullshit AI BS

Downvote, report and block

Conclusion

The original poster (OP) took immediate action to address the neighbor’s concern by speaking to his son and threatening loss of access to the local recreation field. However, when the reported behavior continued, the OP felt he had fulfilled his parental responsibility and refused further involvement, leading to conflict with the neighbor.

Is the OP solely responsible for monitoring the behavior of all neighborhood children, or does the adult neighbor bear some responsibility for adjusting her privacy expectations given the proximity of a highly used youth recreation area? Which party should make the primary adjustment to resolve this ongoing neighborhood dispute?