Caught in the crossfire of personal needs and professional duty, each stood firm, their worlds colliding over the meaning of sacrifice and responsibility. The coworker’s bitterness clashed with her resolve, as he dismissed her perspective for lacking children, while she remained unwavering, determined to claim her rightful time with family. In the silence of their manager’s watchful eyes, the true struggle was laid bare: whose holiday was worth more?
Basically I, 29f have the morning shift for Christmas Day which is good for me because I can then spend the rest of the day with my family and do things. My coworker, 39M has the “middle shift” that basically is 12pm to 20:30 pm which sucks bc you lose most of the day.
He has a 4 year old son and a wife. When he saw the schedule he flipped out and basically flat out refused to do the shift. Which means I will have to do it instead and I also refused, saying I want to spend time with MY family.
He then started ranting about me not having kids and that I will understand when I have kids etc. basically he said he won’t do that shift and doesn’t care how the problem will be solved.
Which is so selfish bc if he doesn’t do anything it I’ll have to do it and he knows it.
My manager says we should solve the issue on our own and make a decision. I told them I’m taking the morning shift end of story.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is firmly committed to keeping the morning shift on Christmas Day to align with their personal plans, creating a direct conflict with their coworker who desperately wants to avoid the difficult middle shift due to his family obligations. The core issue is a clash between the OP’s right to their planned time off and the coworker’s appeal to his parental responsibilities, with both parties refusing to compromise.
Given that both individuals have strongly asserted their needs and the manager has deferred the decision, should the OP yield their schedule for the sake of the coworker’s young child, or is standing firm on their prior commitment and right to personal time the appropriate action when dealing with mandatory work scheduling?
Here’s how people reacted:
However, he should be asking to switch shifts with the late person not with you, his kid will be asleep by then and the family fun will be over. I’m not sure why he wants to swap with you and miss Christmas morning, which is the best time for little kids. Makes me think there might be something else he’s looking forward to…
Either way I’m going with NTA because I mean you didn’t make the schedule. And the manager really should handle this situation because saying “work it out amongst yourselves” clearly isn’t going to work here. And if you work your shift, regardless if he works his or not, it shouldn’t be on you to cover his shift. It’s a managers job to either found someone to cover it, or cover it themselves, but not to say that you HAVE to do it.
It sucks but a four year old won’t know the difference.
Parents who work shouldn’t get preferential treatment because they’re parents. They should be given some compassion for sick children though.
If it’s your turn to work a holiday it’s your turn to work the holiday or the crappy shift.
If it was that important he could have booked off the whole day. If he has less seniority too bad so sad.
As manager, it is his job and responsibility to make sure shifts are covered. It is not your job to do somebody else’s job because your boss does not want to deal with it. If your manager tries to get out of it or hmms and haws or tries to make you do it.Go directly to your h r department if you have one
Might want to see if yours does, and if so, inform the other employee that you’re only working the shift your scheduled and point to where in the handbook it says he can be terminated if he doesn’t show.
Then walk away. It is not your responsibility to take over his shift. You both have plans and he made them before knowing the schedule or trying to make arrangements to take another shift.
Well yes I don’t have kids but I LOVE Christmas and I love spending time with my family.
If he’s so bothered about it then he needs to get a new job at a company where he knows everyone will get the day off.
Absolutely stand your ground, you can’t let people like that get what they want.
He can sort it out as an adult who is 10 years older than you without throwing an toddler tantrum.
Don’t discuss it with him or any other person. Take a screenshot of the schedule and date and time stamp it.
Post it to your WhatsApp or FB story to create a digital trail.
He can deal with the supervisor and the manager and anyone else
NTAH
If you make $30 an hour x 2 1/2 more per hour, $1120 per shift is worth it to me.
Not having kids doesn’t mean every aspect of *your* life takes a backseat for those who do. Your co-worker chose to have a child. That means there are going to be times *his* responsibilities and obligations *will* require him to miss out. He still has the morning to spend with his wife and kid.
Your manager needs to manage.
It’s illegal to discriminate based on familial status, so your manager was right to let it lie. If the shift preference was so important to your coworker, they should have requested it specifically ahead of time. Sorry you work with such an asshole. Don’t even say *why* you can’t swap shifts, just say that you can’t, period.
NTA
1. You didn’t make the schedule. Your manager did.
2. Just because you don’t have children doesn’t mean that you don’t have a life outside of work and family.
3. You should be able to enjoy your Christmas also.
4. Do not give into the entitled and demanding coworker.
Not only does your coworker suck for not having the forethought to book the day off if his kids are so important to him, but also, your manager sucks for making a schedule and then leaving it to you (!) to defend your right to just work as scheduled…
I have kids but I really hate it when other parents play the kids card. He needs to understand this is part of his job.
He isn’t more entitled to the day off than you!
Say….scheduling shifts isn’t my responsibility. I will work my scheduled shift
It is not the responsibility of the childfree or childless to pander to those who have children.
Your manager needs to do just that – manage.
Someone else’s kid is not your problem.