Every missing bite, every emptied carton of almond milk, carries the weight of betrayal and frustration. Despite confronting the culprit, denial and gaslighting only deepen the wounds, leaving one roommate isolated in his truth, while the other remains steadfast in innocence. The tension is not just about food—it’s about dignity, respect, and the invisible line crossed too many times.
Me and 2 other guys share an apartment together and we split all the bills. The only thing we don’t split costs on is groceries. Everyone’s in charge of buying their own food and we don’t touch whatever doesn’t belong to us in the fridge.
We put our names on everything so no one gets mixed up.
This issue has been going on almost a year and I’m sick of it.
One of my roommates, R, keeps stealing my food. I get home from work and containers with my leftovers are sometimes missing (they have my name written on it), or my stuff finishes too quick.
My gallon of milk for example. I buy almond milk because I like the taste. But it seems to finish after a week even though I’ve only drank once or twice.
I confronted R about this lots of times and that’s caused a lot of arguments. He outright denies it and tells me I’m crazy even though it’s so obvious.
My other roommate and I carpool together because we both work the same early morning shifts around the same area so I know it’s not him. It’s always after we get back home and R’s already left for work that I notice my food’s gone.
My roommate’s also had a similar problem but not as often as I do. I’m guessing cause R doesn’t like what he buys.
The funny thing is R buys a lot for himself and is even more stingy about his food. He will literally point out what’s his when he comes back from grocery shopping and tells us not to touch it.
Last week, my milk was nearly empty again and I got fed up. I went to the liquor store and bought regular dairy milk. I drank what was left of my almond milk and refilled the gallon with the one I bought.
This was to catch/prove R is the one stealing since he’s lactose intolerant.
The nxt day, Saturday, we get back from work and R is pissed. He yelled at me that he was stuck in the bathroom for 40 mins with diarrhea because of my milk; he was using it to make a shake.
I only responded with “So then you’re the one who’s been stealing?”
He freaking exploded. Yeah he admitted he was “sometimes” drinking my milk and eating my food but he was more mad that I switched milks than the fact that he was caught. I told him I wouldn’t have done that if he’d just stopped taking my stuff from the fridge or at least told the truth instead of tryna make it seem like I was making it up.
My roommate backed me up and thought it was kinda funny he got payback for stealing from us. It’s a little tense rn and my roommate told me R is trying to convince him to agree to kick me out.
Little does he know we’re both looking to move somewhere else together cause we are sick of his shit.
I told some buddies what happened and a few think I was an asshole for that. I feel like I’m not in the wrong here. He was taking my food and not even owning up to it and I wanted to prove it, does that make me TA?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) experienced persistent theft of personal groceries by a roommate (R), which escalated after repeated denials and gaslighting from R. The conflict climaxed when the OP set a trap using lactose-containing milk, successfully exposing R’s dishonesty, though R reacted more strongly to the trap than to the initial act of theft.
Given the clear violation of agreed-upon boundaries and the subsequent denial, was the OP justified in setting a trap to expose the repeated food theft, or did this action create an unnecessarily hostile living environment?”
Here’s how people reacted:
He already had *been* doing that. Zing.
NTA. Mostly. My only quibble, if you don’t know the extent of his medical condition, doctoring with someone’s food allergies (even if they are being TA) isn’t a great thing to do. I don’t think a serious lactose intolerance will kill someone, but I’m not a doctor. You would hate to have to explain this to emergency personnel. “Yes, I know he had this food allergy… but he was being a jerk and I wanted to fuck him over…”
This guy sounds like a jerk. I hope he actually learns something from this and from his roommates leaving him.
Eventually OP got fired after HR agreed with food thief. OP got a lawyer and story came out that HR and food thief were in a relationship. Company owner fired both offenders and hired OP back with increased pay.
Dude sucks for stealing your food and I would have done the same thing.
> The funny thing is R buys a lot for himself and is even more stingy about his food. He will literally point out what’s his when he comes back from grocery shopping and tells us not to touch it.
This, children, is called projection: he knows he’s stealing food, and he figures the two of you are going to try and do it to him.
Dick.
Dude had to learn a lesson.
If drinking real milk would have killed him, or hospitalised him, then I’d say it was too far, and there should be a better way. But having to shit for 40 minutes is a hilarious, and fair, punishment.
Well played, OP. Well played.
>I went to the liquor store and bought regular dairy milk.
Is this normal where you live? To me *Liquor store milk* has sort of the same ring as *Diner lobster*
Both literally and figuratively. As someone who is lactose intolerant myself NTA. It’s his own damn fault because he’s nothing but a food thief while being stingy with food with y’all.
If he steals from you, he should face consequences, especially after you bringing it up to him. Why would he expect you buying and using products that accomodate to his health condition?
I suggest you take this to r/pettyrevenge