Caught between his commitment to his own child and the demands of his girlfriend’s children, he faces bitter resentment and accusations, forced to confront not just financial boundaries but the painful reality of divided loyalties. In this emotional battleground, he questions whether standing firm makes him the villain, or if his resolve is the only way to protect what he’s worked so hard to build.
My daughter is turning 16 and I agreed to help get her a car. She asked for a little honda or toyota thats good on gas. We set a budget of 3k and if she wants something more expensive then she needs to kick in the remainder.
My girlfriends 2 kids got upset because I wont buy them the cars they want. 1 asked me for bmw i8 and the other requested a brand new truck. I told them they needed to take it up with their mom and dad that they are the ones that should be buying them a car.
We aren’t married and only been together 2.5 years. Their dad is pissed because i won’t help out his kids and girlfriends pissed because I’m doing for my kids but not hers. Girlfriends sister and husband agrees with them saying I’m an asshole for treating her kids different.
I don’t think I’m the asshole but instead feel like I got a gold digger family after what I work hard for. Figured I’ll let the internet determine if I’m actually the asshole and if i should reconsider my stance on the subject.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is facing significant conflict after setting a clear financial boundary regarding a car purchase for his biological daughter, which his girlfriend’s children and extended family have strongly rejected. The central tension lies between the OP’s commitment to a pre-established agreement with his daughter and the expectation from his girlfriend and her family that he should extend similar, far more expensive, financial support to her children.
Given the clear distinction between financial obligations to one’s own child versus a partner’s child in a relationship that is not legally bound by marriage, is the OP justified in refusing to fund the extravagant car requests of his girlfriend’s children, or does this refusal constitute unfair differential treatment that threatens the stability of his current relationship?
Here’s how people reacted:
You have no obligation whatsoever to buy things for other people’s children just because you are dating one of their parents.
You are buying your daughter a $3,000 used car. Even if you had other children you would not be unfair to not give them the same gift as long as you had reasonable grounds for the decision.
> 1 asked me for bmw i8 and the other requested a brand new truck.
Just out of curiosity, ask them where they found these vehicles priced at only $3,000.
You and your girlfriend may love each other. However the two of you have completely different ideas about your responsibility to her and her family. Do you think your relationship can survive the different expectations? Will you believe she values you for yourself or fear she loves your money more?
Why is their dad pissed because you won’t help? HE’S THEIR DAD. HE should buy them their bloody cars.
You gf’s kids – spoiled twats. An i8 for Christs sake, seriously? Tell the dad to fork up the 100k for those two cars
NTA
Cut bait, and run!
There is an unusual amount of entitlement going around this family. There is no 🐱 worth that kind of insanity.
NTA.
Their kids, their responsibility. NTA.