NTA because this was not originally part of the agreement prior to you making your plans. That’s a solid reason to refuse to participate in this act of “solidarity,” and I believe any reasonable person would agree. Once the plans are laid out and people take time off from work, book hotels and flights, and plan their lives around the trip, changing the plans is unacceptable, and no, the trip being for the groom’s bachelor party doesn’t matter; wedding tyrants are insufferable and should not ever be encouraged. Few things bother me more than a bride or groom who treats guests like shit on the grounds that it’s their “special day.” They are not absolved from their duty to treat their guests with respect.

Others may disagree with me on what I’m about to say next, but you’re also NTA because the groom is an adult man—not a child—and doesn’t need “solidarity.” Is he going to be *sad* if he sees others drinking and can’t drink? Too bad, I guess; time for him to grow up and stop letting silly things bother him so much. He’s capable of making his own decision not to drink, you are capable of making a different decision, and he’s a grown man who should worry less about how others enjoy themselves. Why must people who *arbitrarily* choose to suffer insist that others suffer alongside them?

I’m leaning NTA. They threw this on you guys last minute, it’s not like he’s in recovery or anything, and you have a right to want to let it rip when you have a weekend away from two kids under 2.

BUT, you’re opening the door to getting uninvited from the trip and possibly the wedding if you make this a line in the sand, and they wouldn’t be AHs for that either, IMO. It hurts to find out someone you consider a friend won’t respect your wishes at your own bachelor party (I also would’ve led with “give us one night to go nuts at the casino” rather than “I’ll give you 24 hours sober” when it’s not *your* party, but that’s just me).

If it’s something you could swing, a possible solution could be agreeing to keep the trip dry, with the condition that an alcohol-friendly guys trip happen later this year.

NTA. I’m shocked this would even be proposed for friends trip. People quit drinking all the time, and need to understand that one of the challenges of going sober is that you have to be prepared for people around you to drink. Would this engaged couple go to their family’s holiday gathering and expect everyone not to drink, to a company function? They can’t dictate your behavior.

I have two kids as well and totally feel where you’re coming from. Time away like this is rare and you deserve to enjoy it how you will. Personally, I’d definitely keep a lid on the drinking over this weekend, so you’re not “that guy”, but I’d 100% enjoy some spirits as an autonomous adult lol.

INFO: What does the groom want out of the weekend? It sounds like the best man is the one pushing everyone to not drink, but this is supposed to be for celebrating the groom. If he is fine with the rest of the party drinking that’s his prerogative. Same if he doesn’t want them drinking. That being said, if the agenda for the weekend was originally planned to be very drinking/party centric, then telling the group to not drink is going to drag down the mood.

I was fully ready to call you the asshole based on the subject. But on reading the story this was a last minute request by the best man. Did the groom actually request it.

Even then it would be NTA. If it had been made clear before booking that would be a different matter. If the groom were in recovery then that would be a different matter.

But the fact is you accepted & spent money on the basis of what the trip would be.

I’m gonna say NTA because this was sprung (sprang? Springed? None of them look right to me) on you after you had already booked everything. You might not have gone to the whole thing if you had known.

Also maybe it’s cultural, but here being teetotal would be considered a personal choice that you don’t put on other people. Especially in a setting like a casino where having a drink is completely acceptable.

YTA It’s not your party so you don’t get to make the rules. If you want to make the rules then have your own damn party. Tell your wife you want to go on a vacation to get drunk so you can pretend you don’t have kids. Don’t go to a bachelor party acting like a 5 year old who has to get a present just because someone else did. Grow up

NTA.

Imagine if he came out and said “I’m now Vegan, and so I demand all of you don’t eat animal products for the whole time”.

I get it is different, but essentially the same thing. He *chose* to give something up, he does not have the right to enforce it on others. He can *choose* to be elsewhere while it happens instead.

I have unlimited pto, I fly on airline miles, and have no kids. All that to say, You probably need a drink more than I do, but I’d still be drinking at a bachelor party or finding new friends and drinking with them. The best man sounds like a huge nerd

It sounds like you have a drinking problem that you need to address. If you can’t have a good time without alcohol and you’re putting your foot down on spending time with your friends to the point you’re basically saying screw you…you have a problem.

Absolutely NTA. As one has kids and responsibilities trips like this are few and far between and you should enjoy it. Not drinking on a trip like this if you enjoy it is ridiculous, so no booze at the wedding either?!!

You are paying for it. Do as you see fit. If he was footing the bill it would be a different story. You had to take time off work pay to go. I wouldn’t let them tell me I couldn’t drink.

NTA, it’s none of their business if you drink, as long as you don’t get obnoxious. They are treating it like it is always a social thing to be shared, and that isn’t always the case

No. They are trying to be PC with everyone. That’s not cool when it infringes on other people’s hard earned party days. You are not the ahole. Others are being too touchy.

What if it’s really not about the drinking at all or more that fiancé doesn’t want him getting drunk and doing something dumb/cheating on his bachelor party?

YTA for whining about funds but then wanting to waste funds on blackjack and beers, which are notorious funds suckers and literally just throwing money away.

NTA. If he doesn’t want to drink he doesn’t drink. If he doesn’t want anyone to drink on the trip he should have said so before you booked it. End of story.

NTA. Forcing others to not drink just because you chose not to is massive bullshit. This should have definitely been mentioned before you booked this trip.

NTA. Dude ruined his own good time and his wife-to-be’s by not strapping up…I’m not gonna pay all that money to be Debbie Downered cuz he’s in the 💩

NTA.

You were invited on a bachelor’s party. There is no such thing as a dry bachelor’s party.

Tell them to GFY and have fun.

Funky situation. To not suck OP, minimize and privatize your drinking. Respect the mission, do your you time on the side

NTA – the bride and groom both get to make their life choices, and you do too. Just don’t be a problem.