My MIL gave my daughter a bunch of conservative themed children’s books.

A mysterious box filled with colorful books arrived unexpectedly, sparking joy and curiosity in a six-year-old’s heart. What began as innocent reading and playful activities soon unfolded layers of hidden messages, stirring a quiet unease beneath the surface of bedtime stories.

As the parent delved deeper, the discovery of divisive themes challenged their beliefs and ignited a fierce emotional struggle. What was meant to inspire freedom and values became a battleground over identity and acceptance, tearing at the very fabric of trust and understanding within the family.

My MIL gave my daughter a bunch of conservative themed children’s books.

A box of 15 or 20 books showed up at our house. There is a map and stickers and my 6 yo seriously loves the activities and reading them. The first couple she read to me seemed weird, but she loved them and it was getting her to read so what do I care if the message was “birds should be birds”.

It didn’t hit me the book was anti-trans until today. She was reading a book that was obviously about the right to bear arms. Honestly, I support a lot of the values in the books, but the anti-trans one really pissed me off.

I told my wife and she couldn’t believe anything like that existed and thought I was being paranoid. I read the back to her and it states that they promote conservative values and freedom.

She said “those sound like good things.” She told me to read the rest of the book and see if I was right about the theme. Spoiler alert, the villagers with no coconut cannons get their town leveled by Hyenas, and the villagers with coconut cannons save their lives.

I told my wife to tell her mom to stop sending the books. I want to take them away but I don’t want to discourage my daughter from reading. She has a ton of books, but the interactivity with the map and stickers has her hooked on these.

My wife thinks I’m an asshole for wanting to take away the books. This literally happened right now, and we’re sitting down to dinner, so I don’t have any outside opinions yet. Not sure I want to ask any of my friends cause I don’t wanna spark political debate.

Here’s how people reacted:

JRAWestCoast

Your radar on this, OP, is sharp as hell, and your wife is naive. Indoctrination starts early, and your in-laws have begun their systematic plan to shape your daughter’s belief system as they want. It’s insidious that fun and lovable children’s books are the tools they’re using. Brainwashing has to be sugar-coated so it will be accepted. Try to see past the allure they hold and take a hard look at the consistent message they are using to indoctrinate. Throw them all out, and insist that the M/FIL send no more of these. Meantime, you can find hundreds of equally fun and interesting books for your daughter that she will adore. You are a great dad, OP, NTAH, but your in-laws and duped wife can’t be trusted.

OrNothingAtAll

Start collecting evidence. Document the racist, sexist stuff your wife and her mom are doing. Start contacting lawyers on the down low. I don’t trust your wife or her mom and they remind me of the wife in gone girl. You need to start covering your ass and start keeping an eye over your shoulder with them. And I say this as a feminist who thinks we need to protect no-fault divorce because it protects both men as well as women when they realize they’re in an abusive marriage.

But you need to start keeping receipts of your crazy mil and your wife who’s acting like she was Eva Braun in a past life. They’re doing some sick brainwashing on your kid.

MrCharlieBucket

NTA, and I think you should have an age appropriate conversation with your kid. “I don’t like these books because I think they teach ideas that I disagree with. They say we should be mad at people who are different from us, and that weapons are the most important way to solve problems. I don’t like that. Let’s go to the library and pick out some different books instead.”

I hear you on indoctrination, but they are going to get their values from somewhere. If you don’t talk to your kid honestly about your values, that somewhere might be your conservative in-laws.

davechs2005

You are the asshole…how dare you parent your child as you see fit lol…how would you feel if the roles were reversed? If they were liberal books? Or…even better if it was a teacher secretly reading or pushing these books onto your child without your knowledge? I think at the end of the day all you can do is try pass on knowledge and let children figure themselves out with a degree of guidance. You won’t or can’t stop them from seeing everything at the end of the day

ConvivialKat

“Fun” propoganda and activities were used in Germany to encourage children to rat out their family members and become the “Hitler Youth.”

Your wife is supporting the subtle brainwashing of her child. That’s very concerning.

My recommendation is that you get some equally fun items with pretty stickers and happy, age appropriate subject matter and slowly let it take over your MILs propoganda. And, anything else she sends is NEVER given to your child.

Garden_gnome1609

Your kid’s being brainwashed. Take the books, shit can them. Take her to a book store and do a shopping trip with her and she’ll forget all about them. Tell your MIL to stop sending books with a political agenda. If she wants to send a book about good values, she can send a book about making sure all people have their rights protected.

dieselbp67

So Reddit is a very big left wing echo chamber so of course you’re going to get validation here. Many people are conservative and hold different views. Obviously you can raise your kid how you see fit, but you’re not really going to get balanced perspective on issues here. If you are seeking validation, of course you will get it.

7grendel

NTA. Your kid, you get to decide what kind of books they learn with.

If you can find them, there was a great serries of childrens books called “Serendipity” that have a good moral to each without being political. I think they came out in the 70s? Cute stories, lots of animals, and really great illustrations. No stickers though.

Inevitable_Pie9541

NTA. My friend went through this with religious in-laws. Gifts of books, games, a magazine subscription, for their daughter who was still very young. The content eaa 100% indoctrination, and about as subtle as those coconut cannons.

Luckily she and her husband were in agreement about the material, and out it went.

Elegant-Ad-1010

Simple solution, tell your daughter you noticed how much she loved the books and you want her to read so you are going to allow her to pick out a few more. Get online fund a few appropriate options or head to the book store. Once she done with the one from grams toss em & tell grams she crossed the line.

MidnightPositive485

NTA. Let the books run their course, put them aside and ask your MIL not to send more. Kids loose interest quickly at this age. Look for similar interactive books that aren’t obliviously bigoted. I wouldn’t make a huge deal of it to her by taking them away, just let them fade.

merry1961

I think you should read through all of them and then give the ones you approve of, if you do, to your daughter. This is similar to parents NOT wanting their kids to read books on gender affirming care, and it’s your right as a parent to choose what you want your child to read.

GoodAcanthocephala95

My grandsons favorite book is “if you give a mouse a cookie”. I did not give it to him. And it has some of the most vile ideas of the poor being greedy. But guess what the only things my grandson sees is a funny mouse with a cookie. To kids sometimes it’s just a cookie

dljens

As an alternative to taking them away, one idea would be to use them to critique the values that the books are promoting. Could help your daughter be able to understand discourse, counterarguments, logical fallacies, etc.

Maybe your wife too.

brass444

It won’t stop with the books.

My FIL gave my boys BB guns with full knowledge that we wouldn’t allow it. We gave them back. They were upset for a bit but moved on.

I’m with you.

Queasy-Trash8292

Stop it now. It will not end. My mother did this to my kids and I threw the books away. She continued to contact them and send them right wing Qanon social media. This is not ok.

Necessary-Region-891

NTA. Encouraging reading is great, but not at the expense of exposing your daughter to harmful messaging. Maybe replace them with interactive books that align with your values?

MKatieUltra

My thoughts went from “birds should be birds might be a way to say be yourself!” To “coconut cannons sounds awfully gross for a kids book”.. creeps…”

larjaynus

Yes you are the asshole. It’s exactly this attitude that is allowing deviant behavior to be force on out children instead of good traditional values

LowEntertainment6133

YTA your child is reading and learning about morals. Only a bad parent would try to stop their kids from growing up to be an ethical adult

CrownHirono_

Your MIL is trying to turn your daughter into the next Coconut Cannon enthusiast! Who knew reading could come with such heavy artillery.

Positive-Listen-1660

Either your wife is of the same mind as her mother or she has no clue how indoctrination works.

Either way you have a problem.

messageinthebox

Week by week, make a book disappear. Replace them with other books that are less political. Over time they will all be gone.

Adventurous-War3941

I feel like this is some rage bait and switch where you’re trying to get the libs to admit banning books is fine sometimes

Front_Rip4064

NTA

Aren’t these books from your MIL… *grooming?* You’re right not to expose your daughter to these books.

ClaraClassy

Ask your wife if she intends to let her mother dictate all the values your daughter will have.

BlowtorchBettie

NTA

Do what you want about the books, but don’t ever leave your kids alone with your inlaws.

reriiga

NTA but you and your wife need to have a serious conversation on how to raise your daughter

b_rex06

Oh no 😮
God forbid your child be allowed to think for themselves.
Yeah, you’re a c**t.

glycophosphate

Box them up & mail them back to grandma with a note that says, “we’re not bigots.”

Wanda_McMimzy

NTA. I think it’s cruel to use books with subliminal messages like that.

abgry_krakow87

NTA: Religious conservatives love grooming and indoctrinating children.

IHarvestTheNight

It appears you want your daughter to grow up to be a liberal idiot

Individual-Total-794

There are books that are interactive without the rhetoric.

Key-Quantity8102

Parents should monitor what media their child consumes.

Possible-Security-69

NTA but it sounds like your wife is a closet T cult AH.

JJQuantum

Get her some different books and toss those. NTA.

Conclusion

The original poster (OP) is caught between a desire to shield their six-year-old daughter from content they strongly disagree with (specifically anti-trans messaging) and the desire to encourage her established reading habit, which is currently being fostered by a collection of engaging books. This has created a direct conflict with the OP’s spouse, who views the books as innocuous or even positive due to their generalized themes of freedom and conservative values, leading the OP to feel isolated and questioning their next action.

Should the parent prioritize protecting the child from ideologically charged material that contradicts family values, even if it means temporarily halting a positive reading engagement, or is it more beneficial to allow the engagement to continue while actively discussing and framing the problematic content as the child matures? Is removing the books justified, or must the parents find a middle ground that preserves the child’s enthusiasm for reading?