As the days passed, the father watched her son’s enthusiasm fade, leaving the guinea pigs neglected and the garden quiet. In this space of disappointment and lessons learned, she finds a new purpose, ready to embrace the pets herself, proving that sometimes, love means stepping in when others step away.
My son is 10, 1 year ago he asked for a pet Guinea pig. We have a large garden so I agreed but only with some terms. I would cover the upkeep of food, bedding and pig treats and toys.
He would have to save up half the money for a large hutch and I would pay for a large outdoor run, he agreed and did his chores and for his birthday I paid for 2 Guinea pigs from a local seller.
My son named the guinea pigs pudding and candy. Within days of buying them my son lost interest, he refused to feed them, refused to clean them and refused to move their run around the garden so they were on fresh grass.
I warned him multiple times that I would take possession of the pigs as my own, I discussed with my husband before we got them that I would quite enjoy having them in the garden as I had Guinea pigs growing up and always adored them.
So after a few months of doing 100% of the work myself I renamed the guinea pigs geralt and roach.
When my son was in the garden playing he heard me calling them to get them in the pen. ( I move them from the outdoor run and pen to the indoor shed pen at night) He threw an absolutely huge tantrum and demanded i change the names back.
I said if he began looking after them like he was supposed to that he could change the names back. He continued to sulk and moan but eventually agreed to these terms. It’s been a week since that tantrum and he hasn’t been near them since, he sulks every day about the names but refuses to help.
my husband has told me to just change the names back and let it go, but I prefer those names and seeing as I’m doing all the work and I see them as my pets now not my sons why shouldn’t I?
I will gladly re think this situation if I am wrong or missing the point but I just don’t think my husbands point Is very fair, my son needs more discipline already as he seems to be so demanding and sulky lately AITA?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) assumed full responsibility and care for the guinea pigs after their 10-year-old son quickly lost interest, leading the OP to rename the pets and claim them as their own. The central conflict arises from the son’s demand for the original names back, despite his refusal to uphold his end of the initial agreement regarding care and responsibility.
The core question for consideration is whether the OP was justified in renaming the pets and asserting ownership due to the son’s failure to perform his duties, or if prioritizing the child’s emotional attachment and maintaining the original agreement, despite the lack of performance, would have been the better approach for discipline and maintaining family harmony?
Here’s how people reacted:
You are teaching him consequences but I will say that (just from this situation described) you aren’t teaching him work ethic.
I was a third child, left to take initiative on my own. Left to babysitters and sort of the sink or swim situation. It made things harder for me when I transitioned to adulthood. That’s because not all kids are the same and some need actual pushing while they are developing.
What I mean is the structure of ‘After breakfast feed your animals and before you play video games you need to clean out their cage’ He might resent it and argue but it really helps to teach him an ethic of taking care of responsibilities regardless of his mood.
With this ‘natural consequences’ situation that you are giving him, the desired character trait you are aiming for looks like is backfiring. He is learning to disassociate from his wants so that he doesn’t have to do the work. He’s learning that he can resent you, blame you and go on with his status quo.
You said he never picked up the work (and I’m assuming never made to do the work) so he never actually bonded with the animals and the ‘consequence’ isn’t actually felt that strongly. Just an irritation.
I think this is perfect. The piggies are happy, you are happy, and your son is getting a mild but clearly felt reminder that if you don’t care for your pet, it’s not really your pet. Totally appropriate, and his lack of work and presence of tantrums isn’t a sign that this is unreasonable. It’s a sign that he is a kid, and he’s trying to find an easy way out where he gets to call them his but doesn’t do the work.
Hold the line. Be patient and calm and explain that he really needs to do the work if he wants them to be his, not for your sake but for theirs. Being a pet owner isn’t about a possession; it’s about a relationship, and that needs to happen every day.
It was a good decision. I know I had similar issues when I got a gerbil. It was sweet but I had no idea how to care for a rodent and didn’t treat it much differently than my childhood fish. Mom decided with a firm conversation with me that it should go to one of her students (it was a marginalized school and there was a student she thought was mature enough to take care of said rodent after discussing it with the student.)
Just don’t hold this over your son’s head. I am a doting cat owner and was to the family cat a few years later.
BUT what you’ve done here is great. You anticipated your son losing interest and were completely on board with taking the animals as your own, because they’re pets you also wanted yourself. And you’ve taught him a valuable lesson about responsibility; if he’s not going to look after them, he can’t have them. They’re your pigs now (and having seen the video you posted on someone else’s comment, they’re gorgeous!!)
NTA, but why not just say that each piggy has a first and middle name?
NTA but god damn this is the most ridiculous first world problem ever
You said the guinea pigs would be yours, if he didn’t take care of them. He didn’t take care of them, and now there are some minor consequences.