NTA. The audacity of going into someone’s home and just…..eating any and all of their food. I have to wonder if it’s the gf who’s idea this was and / or if your roommate is all “anything in the fridge you want, babe,” and she takes him at his word. Just based on the fact that I’ve dated a number of guys who basically barely had any snacks around and seem shocked when I’d be hungry at random times. If they lived with roommates never ever did I assume I was just free to take any food that I saw. Maybe it’s the audacity of the gf or maybe it’s your roommate who needs to actually plan to provide food to his girlfriend and have the balls to clarify what she can or cannot it. A pro tip for him would be to have the kind of food she likes around.

NTA

And interesting that he is being cold to you instead of profusely apologizing for something everyone knows isn’t cool. You don’t eat other people’s food without asking and you should replace it as soon as possible, unless the two of you have an agreement to shop and cook together. Even then, her eating your leftovers crossed a line.

This guy should be actually apologizing and trying to make amends, not pouting. You might want to consider finding a new roommate with basic manners. I don’t see this working out long term since he will definitely want his girlfriend to be able to spend time in his home on weekends and you’ve said no to that. 

i feel you on this one, man. sounds super frustrating when your stuff keeps disappearing, like, come on. you tried being chill about it, but it clearly ain’t working. it’s totally fair to want boundaries, especially since you’re the one paying the bills. maybe your roommate just needs some time to process it, but he should also get that you deserve respect in your own space. communication’s key, so hopefully you two can work this out without it turning into a bigger issue. good luck!

NTA. she’s a grown adult and knows better than to eat other people’s food. It’s really just a simple lack of morals, (coming from someone in the same situation). SHE isn’t paying rent, you didn’t sign a lease that agreed to 2 roommates. Aside from that, even if you did, it gives absolutely no grounds for someone to steal… you shouldn’t even have had to communicate that it bothered you that someone was eating the food you paid for either. It should be common sense to an adult.

NTA Your tenant’s girlfriend certainly makes herself feel at home. It takes a certain combination of lack of social graces, basic manners and awareness to feel comfortable enough to help yourself to other people’s food whilst a guest in someone else’s home. Your tenant needs to tell his girlfriend she doesn’t have free reign over everything in house and they need to buy their own groceries. It is what it is, the girlfriend is not free to graze in someone else’s pasture.

NTA, But the issue is not her coming over and you have conflated the issues. The issue is her using your things. You should make it clear to your roommate that you don’t have any problem with her coming over, but you’re setting a boundary that she cannot use your things or eat your food, and eating leftovers and items that you purchased to meal prep are not snacks. She can bring her own food over for snacks or order in.

NTA. Get a lock for the fridge. It sucks to have to go that level but it’s your food, your fridge and your house. I can’t even imagine going to stay at someone else’s house and eating their food. That’s beyond rude and entitled. 

Next time you see her tell her to stop eating your fucking food, maybe suggest it looks like she’s gained some weight lately. Low blow, yes, but most likely effective. 

NTA

You have every right to set boundaries, especialy since it’s yur apartment, and your roommate’s girlfriend is clearly crossing the line. The issue isn’t just *a few snacks,* it’s the fact that she’s regularly eating food you paid for witout permission nd witout contributing. This isn’t just inconsiderate; it’s disrespectful, especialy after you’ve hinted abt it nd still nothing changed….

NTA. It’s not even about the expense of the food because in theory he could reimburse you. It’s the fact that you have to go to trouble to get the food that you want and have it in place when you need it. This is not like somebody eating a few chips out of the bag; she’s eating large quantity of food that you actually need for meals. You are correct to put your foot down and keep it down there.

NTA

Very reasonable request, and his reaction seems disproportionate to me. Maybe once things have cooled a little, reiterate as nicely as possible that it’s not personal, just that your food is important to you and they both need to respect that.

If it then continues to happen, I think that’s a sign of a wider issue about trust and boundaries.

Good luck, OP!

nah, ur not the ah here. i get wanting to be chill about it, but like, she’s eating ur food without asking. that’s super unfair. sounds like ur roommate needs to be more realistic about boundaries. maybe a convo about shared space and food rules could help? but for real, it’s not cool to just expect free food when she’s staying over every week.

NTA. It may be time to tell the gf directly, because this guy won’t, that she is eating your food. Tell her instead of asking can she eat something – “Did you buy this?”

“Sorry man” is not the correct answer when your landlord tells you that you’re using items not included in your lease. This guy isn’t your buddy. He is your tenant.

NTA. But dude, don’t hint. Hunting often fails and then everyone ends up irritated, because you hold it in until you snap and the other person may not understand you have a problem until you’re well and truly mad at them. Clear, assertive communication is a far better way to go about things, especially with a roommate.

NTA I get he is your friend but sometimes you have to pull out the big guns which simply put is you need to remind him “ Look bro I OWN THIS DAMN APARTMENT YOU ARE HERE UNDER MY KINDNESS” if he continues to give you the cold shoulder remind him he can do whatever he wants in his own property

NTA. Its your food but at the same time instead of ‘hinting’ about your missing food I think you shouldve straight-up told her that you’d appreciate it if she stopped helping herself to something thats yours. If she continues to do it after that then it becomes a problem.

If its just a few snacks and she gets hungry, why isn’t her boyfriend, her host, feeding her? Does he eat? Have you told him he rents a room; not the apartment, and can use the kitchen but his rent doesn’t cover your food.

Best, tell him he needs to move.

NTA. But you may want to think about evicting him. It would be one thing if it stopped once you told him directly that it is not OK, but he is gaslighting you to make YOU feel like the bad guy. F that, they can find their own place.

NTA. She’s not paying rent, and you’re not charging him for board. 10 years ago, that might have been (almost) fine. But with groceries now costing roughly the same as a small car, her behavior is unacceptable.

NTA. Your friend is pissed because his girlfriend can only stay at your appartment if she doesn’t steal and if she’ll start being considerate. How on earth would that be a unreasonable request?

NTA, they’re being selfish and that shit wouldn’t fly in most share houses. But agree with what others have said, in future, be more direct if you’re not comfortable with something.

Charge him for it.

He is freeloading on your food.

Charge him for meals at a takeout rate – because now your mealprep is gone – maybe that opens his eyes.

YTA, a little. Don’t let things build up this far. It sounds like you went straight from hints to banning. You need to do it incrementally.

I’m petty. I would have put laxatives in my food knowing it would be eaten and sit back and watched it unfold. Never steal food again.

NTA.
If they can’t respect your stuff I would tell him to find somewhere else to live honestly, you’re not running a bed and breakfast

So fuck him. He has no respect for you. Lock every cabinet and chain the fridge. When he pays for what he eats, he can eat

Time for signs on food saying don’t touch it. If happens again time for new roommate that is normal and nicer. Ugh..

NTA but always remember if you loan someone money or become their landlord they are no longer a “buddy”

NTA – work out how much food she’s ate and how much you’ve spent on it and give him the invoice.

NTA, start taking his shit and when he has a problem tell him it’s just a little snack

With the prices of groceries lately? NTA. They didn’t even ASK. Rude.

Tell her directly to try to control her appetite.

Get a fridge lockbox to send a clear message.