Frustration and affection tangled in the air as they navigated the delicate dance of compromise. His refusal to conform clashed with her yearning for sincerity, revealing the deeper struggle of wanting to capture a moment that was both true and joyful. Amid the smiles and pouts, their story unfolded—a testament to love’s complexity when personality and vulnerability collide.
My fiance makes this really stupid face in pictures. Smile big, but with your mouth closed. Then just let your jaw hang open. It’s this awkward, weird cross between a smile and gaping mouth.
Sometimes he just opens his mouth really wide without a smile, and looks super idk, shocked? Excited? He only does it sometimes though.
Before we started taking pictures, I just asked him if we could try to make these *nice* pictures so we can share them. Got the camera ready and he makes the face. I asked him if he could just smile regularly he got all pouty, saying “that’s no fun” and “come on, lighten up.” I got really frustrated because we took about 5 pictures with that stupid face.
I even made the face with him once thinking it would get him to do a normal one, but he refused.
I got REALLY frustrated and asked him why he’s doing this, does he not want to make an announcement, etc, and he said he did, but he didn’t get what was wrong with “showing a little personality” while we did it.
I said that we don’t have many “nice” pictures of us other than ones at other weddings — where he’s NOT making that face — so can we just get ONE? And if it’s SO important to him, he can send the one of us making that face together to his family/friends and I’ll send the other one out to mine.
He said that was stupid.
I finally said fine, we’ll just send out an old picture from someone’s wedding or something where we actually look nice. He told me I was being hypersensitive and it shouldn’t matter so much what other people think, and I said it’s not about what other people think, it’s about what I think.
Maybe I went too far, but I said “If you can’t even just pose for a few pictures with a normal face instead of looking like you’re a drunk frat guy waiting for someone to shove a cock in your mouth, maybe you’re not mature enough to get married yet.”
He said I overreacted big time and is pissed at me for the “cock in your mouth” comment. I asked him what the fuck that face is supposed to be, since it’s obvious not a smile! AITA???
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) became extremely frustrated by their fiancé’s persistent refusal to pose for a few standard, pleasant photographs, viewing his unusual facial expressions as undermining the importance of the shared announcement. The central conflict lies between the OP’s desire for a conventionally presentable memory and the fiancé’s insistence on expressing his individual, perhaps playful, personality through his posing, leading to a significant escalation in language.
Given the high emotional investment in a seemingly minor event, was the OP justified in escalating the argument to question the fiancé’s maturity for marriage over a facial expression in a photo, or did the fiancé’s rigid refusal to compromise demonstrate a lack of respect for the OP’s wishes regarding a shared milestone?
Here’s how people reacted:
One thing I’ll say is that it is very likely your boyfriend is insecure about how he looks. He makes stupid faces because if he makes a “normal face” and then it doesn’t turn out well, he will feel like he ruined the photo with his looks. If he makes a stupid face and acts goofy, he can always laugh off the photo and say “he wasn’t trying to look good” anyways.
EDIT: I misread “drunk frat guy” as “drunk fat guy,” so the insecurity may not be a thing. That being said, if he isn’t insecure, the fact he can’t take one nice photo for his future wife to make her happy still makes him the AH. Yeah she made a mean comment but only after trying several times to be nice about it.
Like how difficult is it to not making a fucking face? Just smile, take the pic, and then make your stupid faces afterward or something.
How is he incapable of compromising on not making a face? I don’t think you were at all out of line for questioning his fitness as a life partner when he’s failed at being a good partner in even this very simple, basic way. If he tears you down for wanting a decent picture without this face, what else is he going to refuse to compromise on that you have every right to have your say in?
You’re NTA for wanting very basic things, and trying to comprise on something that he has no excuse for doing in the first place since he knows you don’t like it.
You’re NTA but if you marry this guy despite his being unwilling to NOT HUMILIATE YOU, you will be an AH to yourself and I’d bet money that the marriage won’t last. Look up the redditer who recently filed for divorce because her husband was doing baby talk to embarrass her FOR A FULL YEAR to win a signed baseball in a bet.
That’s your future.
You probably shouldn’t have made that comment though, now all he’s gonna focus on is on your immature response instead of his immature behaviour.
In the big scheme of things though, this is something very small to bring the big guns “maybe you’re not ready for marriage”, think if this is really the only thing that is bothering you and whether his immature behaviour extends to other areas you might me rightly unwilling to tolerate.
Good luck
And thank you, /u/SkippyPuff, for the award 🙂
Not too sure about that comment, though. Would suck if he felt he couldn’t be himself due to knowing what you really think of his expression. But, if it’s as overused as you claim, and he often refuses to smile normally every-now-and-then, I can understand your frustration.
For the record, as a recovered frat boy, I take offense at the “cock in mouth comment”. Pledges took much worse things than penises into their mouths.
But really, NTA. Your man should just smile like a normal human being once in a while. Funny faces in photos are great and all, but a wedding is, at least somewhat, a formal event. That demands decent photos, not funny face ones.
Yeah, this comment really makes your fiance look like the immature one here /s
ESH. Take a couple of fun photos with whatever face you each want to make, then a couple of ordinary photos.
1. you for overreacting about a picture
2. and him for not compromising even once and not trying to be cooperative
also op, after the last statement do you actually want to get married???
tbh that cock statement was super funny
Also are you talking about the “soyboy” face that was popular a couple years ago?
https://www.reddit.com/r/starterpacks/comments/7t6vbt/soy_boy_starterpack/
He’s the asshole for not taking one “nice smile” photo.
You’re the asshole for making a homophobic joke to get him in line.