As walls close in and voices rise, the story becomes a raw exploration of ownership, boundaries, and the unspoken emotions that dwell within close quarters. It’s a poignant reminder that home is not just a place, but a complex web of human connection and conflict.
When I moved cities a few months ago I rented an apartment on a monthly contract while looking for another one to buy. A couple months in the owner told me that she will be putting it on the market so she will be needing my schedule to arrange showings.
I offered to buy it and not even 2 weeks later I was the owner of my own apartment.
I live in the second floor, the first floor is owned by a family (father, mother and two teen boys). The ground floor is two garages for cars, one for each owner. And finally the roof is split into two roofs with a 8ft wall and separate doors off of the landing.
When I bought my house I wanted to redo the kitchen and bathroom, so I took some cookies and knocked on my neighbours house to ask for their schedule. I didn’t want to do work while they were at home to avoid bothering them.
That day I was in my balcony and heard the husband complaining about me buying the apartment, apparently they were planning to do so but I beat them to it.
Now fast foreward a couple of months, and I have turned my roof into a garden, with raised beds for my veggies, pots for flowers, some garden furniture and an area with some wooden outside tiles.
While coming out one day I met my neighbour and she asked to see the garden with her sons, I showed it off and thought that was the end of it.
That is untill I started noticing how some of my flowers were cut, the furniture was moved…etc.
So I installed a camera and saw that her sons jump over the dividing wall along with some friends and spend their time there.
I told the parents, and asked them to tell their kids to stop, that most of the time I am not at home and if something happened there is no way to open the door to help them (metal door with a huge padlock).
They said ok but the kids continued to do so, they even started destroying my plants for telling on them.
So I gave their mother an ultimatum, they either stop or I will be calling the police. She scoffed and called me an entitled bitch. The next time I got an alert on my phone I called the cops and said someone broke into my rooftop garden.
they came pretty fast and only one kid managed to escape, the other was caught red handed and taken to the precinct.
Their father almost broke my door and started screaming at me to come and drop the charges. I just threatened to call the police on him as well and went to bed. This morning I went to the precinct and dropped the charges so he spent the night in their jail with, according to his mom, drug dealers and thugs.
I was so sure of my decision, that I was teaching him the consequences of his actions. But my mom said that I was too harsh, she said that I punished the parents not that I taught the kid a lesson.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) faced a direct violation of privacy and property rights when neighbors’ children trespassed and damaged their private rooftop garden, leading to an escalation where OP called the police. The central conflict lies between the OP’s need to enforce firm boundaries against repeated boundary violations and the perspective of their mother, who believes the OP’s response was overly severe and focused on punishment rather than teaching the juvenile involved a constructive lesson.
Was the OP justified in immediately involving law enforcement to stop the trespass and damage to their private property, even knowing the severe consequences the child would face? Alternatively, should the OP have pursued less punitive measures, such as involving parental mediation or seeking a civil solution first, despite the prior failure of verbal warnings?
Here’s how people reacted:
Those parents sound like the typical parents raising snowflakes. The kid got consequences and righfully so, spent the night with drugdealers and thugs. What’s the difference? He’s breaking and entering and destroying property. I say it was spending the night with peers or future colleagues.
You weren’t harsh by giving the parents a chance to tell their kids to cut it out. They ignored it and the police catching one is a consequence of their own actions.
I wouldn’t have dropped the charges if I were ypu but what’s done is done. Make sure to save and document EVERYTHING from now on cause those parents do not sound stable at all. No wonder their kids have no respect for others.
You’re more like a saint for dropping charges and not pressing for more. You warned the parents twice, if my child was breaking the law so often, I would call the cops myself to threaten them into behaving. A single night in lockup won’t hurt them.
Pretty sure if you pressed the matter you could also sue them for damages and what not. Instead of thanking you for not doing that, they go off at you.
Get a restraining order or protective order or something so they will be forced to stop.
NTA but they are giant AH’s
That is your space and your property.
Your mom is wrong. By punishing the kid you hit two birds with one stone- you punished both the parents and the kids, even the one who didn’t get caught. They knew they were in the wrong (why else would they run?) and you stood your ground by following through with your word.
The kids should not have invaded your space before and should not invade your space again.
Things may be awkward between you and your neighbour but keep in mind that you were not the wrong and they know it.
You talked to them. You talked to them again. They, instead of disciplining their kids, basically left you with no other choice.
Hell, with that kind of attitude – frankly, you would still never be the AH even if you didn’t drop the charges. Probably shouldn’t have. Probably should have called the police on the father, too.
I know you need peace where you live, but they jumped so far over the ‘reasonable behavior’ line that an Olympic vaulter would be jealous.
Just having the kids be confronted by the police in the first place seems like plenty of punishment for the actual offense. If you could end it there with a phone call, I think you should have. If you would have to actually go to the police precinct in the middle of the night, it’s more understandable, especially if the father was outside your door ready to threaten you.
I wouldn’t have dropped the charges.