Now, fate thrust them back together, sparking a connection that blossomed into dates and shared moments. Yet beneath the surface, a shadow of unforgiveness gnawed at him, threatening to unravel the fragile hope they had begun to build.
So, to start off, maybe, it was a bit petty of me tbh. Anyway, I asked this girl Clara out on a date about a year ago. I was a completely different person then, and she turned me down.
It stung like hell, but it did encourage me to better myself. Since then I’ve gotten in better shape, became more confident and generally I’ve had more luck with girls. I still never forgot what made me improve though, and that will always be a shitty memory.
Anyway, me and a few friends I’ve made since last year went out to a gathering. I’m still fairly new in their circle, and surprise! Clara was there. I think she recognized me but I wasn’t sure.
Me and her hit it off, and at the end of the night we had a date planned. The date went pretty well and we went on our second one last friday.
After this I went home and thought about where to go next, and I realized I couldn’t really forgive her. So, she hit me up asking if we were going out again, and I sort of make a joke of it, blew it off and put her on mute.
I haven’t responded since then, and our mutual friends say she’s been pretty upset, since she gets attached to people quickly, but the revenge I got was so sweet!
But, maybe I was an asshole though, what does Reddit think?
Conclusion
The original poster experienced significant pain after an initial rejection, which motivated personal change. Now, having successfully reconnected with the person who rejected them and subsequently ended contact following a second date, the central conflict lies between the satisfaction of perceived revenge and the ethical implications of deliberately hurting someone they were beginning a relationship with.
Was the original poster’s decision to seek emotional payback by cutting off contact after achieving what they wanted, justified by their past hurt, or did this action demonstrate a failure to move past the initial rejection in a mature manner?
Here’s how people reacted:
Unless Clara somehow brutally rejected you, I don’t see why turning down a date offer over a year ago is doing you wrong. It doesn’t sound from your description of her that she would have been mean about it.
People change. You changed yourself for the better, possibly to have better luck with girls like Clara.
Your change worked! Until you act like a total dick head to wanting to reject this girl solely because she didn’t go on a date with you before your change. If you couldn’t forgive her (which shouldn’t be even an issue here), don’t go on dates with her just to reject her after.
She turned you down a year ago because she just wasn’t interested. You’re turning her down because you’re a petty asshole.
If this was something you truly couldn’t get over then you should have never gone on a date with her in the first place. You’re being a bit of a dick by ghosting her as well rather then being upfront.
You have no idea why she declined you a year ago. You are butthurt about it and have decided to be petty in response. She had no obligation to date you back then just because you asked. “the revenge I got was so sweet” – YTA just for that comment alone.
1. you have no idea why she turned you down a year ago
2. You admit that you weren’t the same person then and you’re better now – would you now have gone out with you then?
3. You like her, you had a nice date, and now you’re blowing her off? Yes, you’re the asshole. You’re also hurting yourself.
4. Petty is never a good trait. Stop that. You’re better than that.
She wasn’t attracted to you then. You’ve changed. She is attracted to you now, or has learned to see beyond looks and is attracted to you as a person.
Nobody is obliged to go out with someone just because they have a good personality. Looks matter and first impressions are often made with looks.
Revenge for what? Do you think she had some obligation to go on a date with you just because you asked?
Not only that, but you organised a date, then flaked and ghosted her?
Damn man. That isn’t just an asshole, that’s like a ‘post very hot curry’ level of being a raging asshole.
You’ve just proved that you’re an asshole and that she got a lucky escape. Can’t imagine what the poor girl would’ve gone through having you as a boyfriend.
[Also, you creeped me the fuck out with your actions and for one reason.](https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/a317t3/til_serial_killer_ted_bundy_dated_a_girl_who/)
Dude, who gives a shit if she rejected you? That happens, quit being an incel and move on with your life. Just because she wasn’t attracted to you before doesn’t mean she deserves to hurt. Grow the hell up
Reason 32, 586 why women feel uncomfortable saying no to men. Holy shit. This girl said no to a date a YEAR AGO and you’re still crying about it and trying to get her back? Just wow. How fucking petty.
She just turned you down, unless she made fun of you back then I don’t see any reason for what you did.