Beneath the surface of unpaid work and misunderstood intentions lies a deeper heartbreak: the erosion of a sibling bond, strained by desperation and unmet needs. When compassion meets entitlement, the outcome is not just financial—it’s a fracture that forces one to choose between love and self-preservation.
My sister is a trainwreck. She needed a place to stay and I have a large enough home for an extra person. She has no job or income. I told her she has a few months to get her shit together and leave.
I give her about $100 a week to keep my house clean so she has some cash.
I gave my sister her $100 and she said I owed her more. I was confused. She said she did other “work” for me. I asked her what more did she do? She said she walks my dog in the afternoon.
I walk my dog every morning and evening. But she takes him with her on her afternoon walks. She said the going rate for a dogwalker is $25 per walk. 5 X $25 = $125 on top of the $100.
Then she mentions she put together a scrapbook of personal letters and papers. According to her and Etsy, that job was easily another $75.
I told her I never gave her permission to do those things. Her argument is that those jobs fell under the umbrella of keeping the house clean and I was ripping her off.
So I threw her out.
The money isn’t the issue. I have plenty of disposable income. I was disgusted how she came at me.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) prioritized maintaining clear transactional boundaries and felt disrespected when their sister tried to retroactively charge for unapproved services, leading to the immediate termination of the living arrangement. The central conflict arose because the sister viewed minor, unrequested activities as compensable work falling under a vague agreement, while the OP viewed them as unauthorized personal projects exceeding the agreed-upon terms for shelter.
Was the OP justified in immediately evicting their sister over a disagreement about retroactive payment for unauthorized tasks, or did the initial provision of shelter obligate a more structured negotiation before expulsion? The core question remains whether an informal agreement for housing and light chores nullifies the need for mutual consent on additional paid labor.
Here’s how people reacted:
You seem a lot more capable and intelligent than your sister who’s both immature and either emotionally or intellectually handicapped. Instead of being indignant and angry you might have recognized that her delusions of how things work and what she “deserves” is pitiably scrambled. Another redditor wisely suggested you could have shown her an itemized bill for food, water, electricity, and the going rate for rent in that neighborhood to wake her up to all she’s getting.
Your sister has no reason to feel proud of herself and Is likely fronting every whiff of confidence and contentment she flexes on you. You could have handled it with the calm upper hand of a person n solid control of their life, but you leapt right to ‘How dare you! Hey out!’
You were kind to take her in, but you’re delusional if you expected her to suddenly become a responsible go-getter. Which kinda makes you TA.
My response?
“You know what sister, you’re right. I do owe you for that time. So that’s $250 right? Now, for rent and utilities that’s (going to use my own figures) $750 monthly. Oh? That seems unfair? Well that’s half of my mortgage and half my utilities. You’re right, that is unfair. That’s an additional $150 surcharge for the parking lot, HOA fees, and groceries, another $60 for internet. So what are we at now? Right, you owe me $960 and I owe you $250– why don’t I just take that out of what you owe me. So, $710 please.”
You were doing her a favour and she tried to turn it into a professional agreement. If that’s what she wants, the agreement of a employer/employee, then it comes with the stipulations that your living arrangement is now one of roommates, not sisters.
Roommates pay rent, sisters get favours.
* She chose to do other “services” for which she then tries to bill you.
* You say you never asked for those “services”.
* She argues that they fell under the umbrella of keeping the house clean.
* Agreed to pay her $100 a week to keep the house clean.
* …. wait, we’re in a loop.
If her argument is that she did additional things that she should be paid for, then your counter that you never asked for those stands. If her argument is that those things fall under your pre-agreed services, then they also fall under the pre-agreed price.
And *oh yeah*, she’s living with you rent free, cleaning is the least she should be doing, she doesn’t deserve any additional cash.
NTA.
But hear me out (natural contrarian here.) It really wasn’t that much money and I would have negotiated with her, especially if she had been keeping the house clean and in order up to that point. I would have paid her for the dog walk but not the scrap book (because it’s an aesthetic abomination mostly.)
You could choose to see this as initiative on your sister’s part, maybe a way to start a larger business, make some independent money. It sounds like she was rude in how she presented it, but that’s forgivable (to me at least.)
Throwing her out was excessive and there are ways of negotiating and dealing with all this.
how she is actually begging: she got 100 bucks, remember that she is living in OP’s house, also she gets money every week and she wants 125+ more?
edit: Grammar and stuff
Although she is the bigger asshole for trying to profit off your generosity.
Do as she did. Bill her for rent according to local housing prices, her share of water, electricity, internet, groceries ect.