When given the chance to truly thrive, even for just a weekend, B’s transformation was clear—calmer, happier, more alive. But the sudden onset of pain and his owners’ swift concern cast a shadow of doubt and guilt, leaving those who care for him grappling with the painful question: is love enough when the wounds run deeper than the eye can see?
My friends (let’s call them J and P) adopted a 2-year-old rescue dog (I’ll call him B) about three months ago. Before that, B had lived in a basement with little to no stimulation. He’s a super sweet dog but noticeably under-exercised: they walk him about 1–2 km per day and he’s alone for 6–8 hours daily.
He often seems restless, whiny, overly excited around other dogs – classic signs of under-stimulation, IMO.
I took care of B for a weekend while they were away. During that time, I gave him more attention and longer walks – one day, we covered about 10 km total (spread out through the day).
He was noticeably calmer, more relaxed, and just generally seemed happier. I honestly felt like he needed that.
When I returned him, he was fine. The next day, they messaged me saying he had “hip pain” and that they had to call a vet. I felt awful – but also a bit confused, because he hadn’t shown any signs of discomfort while with me, and I did pace things gently.
The vet said there was nothing structurally wrong, maybe a strain or muscle soreness, and gave them painkillers.
We later had a conversation where I calmly expressed that I’d step back from walking or looking after B to avoid overstepping again, and to respect their way of handling things – even though I still strongly feel that the dog needs more stimulation.
The talk started off calm but escalated when J suddenly accused me of not wanting to pay the vet bill.
That threw me off because – at that point – the bill hadn’t even come up in our conversation. It genuinely hadn’t been discussed yet, not because I was avoiding it, but because we hadn’t gotten there.
I would have gladly offered to help if it had been addressed normally.
After that I sent a message offering to pay part of the bill, asking for the receipt, and reiterating that the friendship matters to me. P later replied, saying emotions were high, J’s under a lot of stress, and that J needs time.
I get that life is hard, and I don’t want to be insensitive. But I still feel a bit hurt and misunderstood. I never meant to overstep. I really cared about B, and just wanted to give him what I thought he was missing.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) acted out of genuine concern for the well-being of a rescue dog, providing increased exercise that seemed to benefit the animal. However, this action led to conflict when the dog experienced minor pain afterward, culminating in an accusation from one friend regarding the vet bill before the topic was even formally discussed.
Was the OP wrong for overstepping the friends’ boundaries by significantly increasing the dog’s exercise, or were the friends wrong to immediately jump to an accusation about financial responsibility rather than addressing the underlying concern about the dog’s care? Should care decisions for a pet always be dictated by the owner, even if those decisions appear inadequate for the animal’s needs?
Here’s how people reacted:
So first off all the things you mentioned as classic over stimulation signs are also classic signs of a dog who’s been traumatized and neglected for a big portion of its life! They just got this dog three months ago out of a basement basically and you expect it to be perfectly adjusted already? It’s going to be anxious for a while until it adjusts to the new life. I foster dogs and the longest I’ve ever had one before finally opening up and truly being herself was a year and 7 months. It can take a LONG time for them to adjust even if you’re doing everything right!!
I can tell completely that you were coming from a good place but you definitely shouldn’t have walked THAT much more. I could’ve understood maybe an extra 2km at most but 8 or 9 more?! That’s pretty intense even spread out. That dog got NO exercise before, it was locked in a basement. There’s a reason they only walk it short distances for now, my friend!! I mean if you think about you, say you’re use to lifting 100lbs daily for a few hours a day. Then all of a sudden you have to lift 300lbs for the same amount of time, you would probably be hurting. I know that when seeing an Australian shepherd a person is going to assume they are ready to rumble because they’re a working breed but they do have to work up to that level.
I think if I was you I’d just apologize and offer to pay for the whole thing. Swallow your pride. Even if you think they are being dramatic, this is their pet that they love dearly, I would be pretty upset too! And I’m sure you would also be if this was your dog. Mistakes happen, it’s not like you broke the dogs hip or something, it’s gonna be okay. Just learn from this and try to mend the friendship if you really care! Eventually you probably will be able to walk the dog for 10km once it’s gotten its strength up!
YTA for thinking you know their dog’s needs better than your friends. You abruptly increased the dog’s exercise 5-fold over a single weekend, no building up to it, no preparation. Your carelessness caused the dog pain and possible injury. Thank goodness it was only for a weekend so the injury didn’t get aggravated and was able to heal with rest and a mild intervention — not like my poor dog who was over-exercised to the point of tearing his ligaments. Then to top it off, you didn’t immediately offer to split the vet bill once you heard that your friends had to take him there. And you still think you’re right!
Just because a dog is tired doesn’t mean that they are enriched or happy, and you ultimately caused them an injury. You could have easily introduced some training, sniffy games, or foraging opportunities if you felt that they needed more – instead you took a dog used to 1-2kms of walks max and took them on 10kms in one day, that’s super irresponsible, and I am glad you will not be providing care for this poor dog in future.
Your friends are jerks for adopting an animal and then not giving the animal the kind of attention and stimulation it needs.
But YTA also for ramping up the dog’s exercise level so dramatically in such a short time. I don’t think your intentions were evil, but I do think you were trying to teach your friends some kind of a lesson about their dog, and the dog’s body got in the way.
Did they give you any explicit instructions about how far to walk the pup, which you disobeyed? Or did they leave you to just figure it out on your own?
Good for you for offering to pay at least part of the vet bill.
You know who was following the rescues rehad/weightloss plan, the owners.
You know who fucked up that plan, hurt the dog, set the dogs rehab back, and cost the owners money because “they knew better”, you. YTA
A morbidly obese human who stayed in their bedroom needs to gradually lose fat and repair atrophied/unused muscle. So does this morbidly obese dog.
Yeah, the dog probably does have extra energy and would appreciate longer walks. Dogs are dumb and will run on torn ligaments. He can go on the longer walks AFTER HIS REHAB.
There’s a subset of animal lovers who delude themselves into thinking they understand animals on a deeper level than everyone else including their owners. It’s insufferable.
As for J’s response, your actions (without their input on the change regardless of good intentions) caused harm to the newest member of their family.
it was a little too much exercise on back to back days. However aussies do need a lot of exercise just like you said. I’m curious how the pain presented? Generally you don’t take dogs to the vet right away
for this, it something you’d observe for a few days because it’s often gone the next day. I guess I’m saying I’m skeptical there was problem at all with the dog.
Before the weekend, I didn’t actually know that their usual walks were only around 2–3 km per day. I was just told not to take him on “big rounds,” but that phrase is subjective – in my understanding, 3 km isn’t really a big round for an Australian Shepherd. So when I walked him more (spread out through the day), I thought I was doing something helpful, not pushing limits.
YTA. Paying half of the bill is the least you could do.
10 Kilometers for a dog is huge ! Lots of dogs go for a 5 km walk which is about an hour.
You did too much regardless of what they are doing.