Amidst this tension, a small request for comfort—a favorite meal—becomes a battleground for loyalty and truth. Promises made in kindness turn to whispers of betrayal, and the wife’s quiet endurance is tested by the very people who should be her allies. In this fragile moment, love and loyalty collide, revealing the raw, painful edges of family and marriage.
My husband was in a car accident last week. He was staying at the hospital for his broken leg. Only me and his mom were there. His mom and I don’t get along AT ALL. he tells me I’m overreacting or paranoid whenever I point out how she’s mistreating me.
He complained about hospital food saying it had no taste and asked me to make his favorite meal which’s steack dish and bring it to him at the hospital. Noting that steak isn’t cheap where we live and I didn’t have enough time to prepare it.
I told him I will see what I can do then his mom said if I’m truly a supportive wife then I’d make it happen.
Once we went outside his room, His mom’s tone changed. She suddenly seemed nice and said that she could see how exhausted I was and so I should go home and not worry about the steak dish because she said she’d make it for him.
I asked if she was 100% sure and she said “absoluetly!!”.
The next visit I showed up and my husband asked why I didn’t bring the steak dish he asked for. I saw his mom there I told him his mom offered to make it for him instesd and told me not to worry about it.
He didn’t believe and was like “mom said that? I’m not buying it, mom you really said that?” her reaction shocked me. She acted confused and said that I’m his wife and she didn’t know why I’d expect her to “perform” my duties for me.
I was confused and didn’t know what to do. My husband seemed upset the entire visit and I waited til his mom left to talk.
I swore to him his mom said she’d take care of it but he said he didn’t believe me. I pulled my phone out, called his mom and put her on speaker so he could hear the conversation. I said “didn’t you say you’d make the steak dish and that I didn’t have to worry about it?” she relied “I did…but I obviously wasn’t actually going to do it, I was just trying to help my son see how his wife is during the rough times and you took the bait”.
My husband raised his eyebrows. He got pissed he called her later and picked a fight then said no more visiting.
She lost it, called me petty and manipulative and blasted me on facebook saying I stopped her from seeing her son only because I couldn’t get her to do things for me like cooking for my own husband.
Now his family are criticizing me for this.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) found herself in a difficult situation, caught between her husband’s specific request, her mother-in-law’s manipulative actions, and her husband’s initial disbelief. The core conflict arose from the mother-in-law deliberately lying to test the OP, leading to a breakdown in trust and causing significant family tension after the deception was exposed.
Was the OP justified in recording the phone call to prove her truth to her husband, even though it escalated the conflict with her mother-in-law? Or should she have maintained silence to avoid further confrontation, trusting that her husband would eventually see the manipulation?
Here’s how people reacted:
Your Husband demanded to know where his steak was the next day and it sounds like was off with you the whole day and took his Mum’s side until you were able to prove that his Mum set you up. That’s really, really awful behaviour from your Husband. His attitude is the real problem. This post reads that your Husband shares his Mum’s viewpoint on what Wifely duties are and should be. And that you’re putting yourself under a lot of pressure to be that. And of course the traditional perfect Wife would never stand up for herself or set the record straight if it meant creating disharmony in the family. It really seems like this is why you’re questioning yourself. As opposed to being pissed at your MIL for being deceitful and reminding your Husband that is broken leg isn’t an excuse to not be kind & understanding towards you. NTA
Edit: and all this is without mentioning that he accused you of lying. Why would he marry someone he can’t trust?? The level of deceit and lack of trust that led you to have to clear your name in the way you did isn’t normal or healthy.
Edit: yes, it’s good be changed his tone. As someone who has been through (and out of) this type of marriage, a changed tone doesn’t always mean he’ll change his stance and start believing you over the MIL. My stance is absolutely biased for that reason, but just having to live through feeling alone in your marriage because your spouse doesn’t trust you makes the guy an asshole up to this point regardless of how he proceeds.
Also, it’s not about the steak dinner lol. Sometimes you do just be craving stuff in the hospital and as long as the staff okays you and you’re not on any special restriction, then it’s cool.
To be honest he doesn’t sound ideal- I’m sure he can cope with hospital food for a few days. (Also bring a steak dish??? It will be cold and a mess to eat. Just bring him pizza or something)
Saying that she set you a surrendered wife test and got angry when her precious son caught her red-handed?
If you don’t have children already, I’d suggest you move as far as you can. She will make your life hell- you’re clearly (in her eyes) a deficient wife, next you’ll be a deficient mother.
Exposing your MIL is epic and was needed. If anyone criticizes you explain what happened and be done with it. I would also have a long talk with your husband about his behavior.
That’s what she’s doing.
I hope your husband stands for you to defend you. She’s the one manipulating y’all. She twists the story and says false things to her what she wants, that’s manipulation.
I hope your husband will stand against her, and of she doesn’t change, I hope he’ll be about to get distant from her
I don’t understand these people. How is making your own son, that you love and who is having a hard time, unhappy a win?