Destination weddings are for people who don’t really want others to attend. I don’t understand any other way of thinking about it, unless you’re part of the 1% and have money to burn. Seriously, anyone who chooses this kind of wedding knows damn well that they aren’t going to have a large guest list. For some people getting one day off is hard enough, but adding more time ***and*** airfare on to that isn’t going to be possible for most people. Locations like that are supposed to be for the honeymoon! You go by yourselves and take pictures, not force everyone to spend money and time they don’t have and then yell at them when they quite reasonably express regrets.

He is likely hastening your mother’s death through extra stress because of his ego and selfishness, why would anyone bother talking to him again? And I had to reread to understand that he thought other people needed to apologize ***to him***! The nerve! ***He’s*** the one who needs to apologize here, no one else.

NTA

NTA

His overseas wedding was 4 days before your due date? He can’t be that stupid can he?

You may not have been able to attend a local wedding. Who knows how you feel 4 days before you pop a watermelon sized human out of your body!

People in their 90s and sick parents.

Seriously your narcissistic brother is clueless.

He sees himself as the victim that a 98 year old, someone one with cancer and someone about to pop can’t travel overseas while we still under a pandemic.

Yeah, I’m totally sorry but someone this narcissistic and self centered is never going to understand anything other than their own point of view.

He’s quite insane

You can’t fix stupid. Sorry for the loss of the relationship with your brother

NTA. People were either far too old to travel, too ill, about to have a baby, or had a newborn. I get that they wanted a destination wedding. At this point in the pandemic, I’d feel like a wedding in McDonald’s was a destination wedding, but this group of people couldn’t go and it’s obvious why. For one, whomever was that pregnant, no doctor would allow this. And then there is the financial side. People can’t afford stuff. It’s a fact and not a shameful fact. People don’t have two weeks of leave just readily available and can’t go leave without pay.

NTA, but your brother needs a reality check.

NTA – OP I am so sorry that at this time when you should be celebrating the birth of your child, you have to deal with your mother’s bad news.

My mind is totally blown that your family meets while everyone is digesting the news that she only has 6 more months and your brother/sil want to discuss their wedding. Get you and your siblings alone not to discuss your mother, but his hurt feelings. Maybe he’ll grow up someday.

Someone thought maybe SIL was trying to alienate him from his family, but it sounds like he’s stuck in a “me me me” stage of life.

NTA

That is the problem with the destination weddings, not everyone can go, and not everyone can afford to take off two weeks, and pay for airfare and hotel and all the other accoutrements that go along with the wedding. IF people honestly cant make it, then you don’t get to get on your high horse and manipulate the hell out of them, and then get your feelings hurt when all that fails. That is just asshole behavior. You are exactly right that there are consequences for being an asshole.

NTA. But do you want to reconcile or do you not? He acted like a dick. You don’t need to reconcile, but if you want your family to heal, it takes more than one person to do it. If he goes through the trauma of your mother’s passing he may find a different attitude. If he still feels victimized because you had valid reasons to not attend his wedding then you’ve at least made every last attempt at healing your family.

NTA. Destination weddings come with the possibility of not every desired guest in attendance. Your brother choosing to cut off relationships with his family over very valid reasons for being unable to travel is his own problem. Also, insisting people travel during the current global pavlova is incredibly selfish and irresponsible, even when those people are fit and fully healthy.

Wow, what drama queens. Definitely NTA

We live in this world where people think that weddings are an excuse to be selfish and then they don’t want to deal with the lifelong consequences that come with that. They sound like awful and entitled people all around. They made their plans knowing none of you would be able to come.

And sorry about your mom. That must be terrible.

NTA. I’m assuming that they planned the destination wedding before the cancer diagnosis or pregnancies, but it’s bizarre to me that they didn’t just have a local reception versus getting angry that you weren’t willing to give birth in an unfamiliar hospital or mom wasn’t willing to put her chemo on hold to travel. Like, none of those are reasonable ideas.

If you find your brother’s self-serving email “heartbreaking” despite the irrefutable bullet points you wrote about the reasons you all couldn’t attend the self-indulgent destination wedding, then you should also be heartbroken that he’s brain dead. Sincere condolences on your mother and congratulations on your new baby.

NTA. They sound extremely privileged.. if you want people to go to your wedding, have it somewhere easily accessible.

You clearly tried your best to be a good brother and they treated you poorly in return. You have nothing to be sorry for.

Edit: good sister\* sorry, I was reading too fast

NTA

They got what they deserved.

>My bother and sil got extremely upset than left. My mother asked what happened but we told her he had the runs (Diarrhoea) and needed to leave

Love this btw, especially since it low key says that they left because they were being little shits lol

NTA. Destination weddings are among one of the most narcissistic things. The only way it works is if the bride and groom are willing to foot the bill for the attendees. Why should other people pay that much to attend your wedding??? Just mind boggling.

NTA. Your brother and his wife obviously had grand visions for their wedding and seemed to be entirely tone deaf about the viability of those visions. That’s not your fault or issue. They seem pretty immature.

NTA. Your brother doesn’t get to alienate his family, make it impossible for them to come to his wedding, and then turn around and play victim on the other side.

NTA. He can’t call you names, go low contact, etc., and then wonder why-oh-why his siblings aren’t being warm and welcoming to him.