Amidst the tension, a simple punishment becomes a powerful act of justice and understanding, forcing the son to confront the consequences of his actions. What began as frustration transforms into a poignant exchange, reflecting the complex dance of love, responsibility, and growing up under one roof.
My daughter 21 gets off at work at 4 am, she usually stays up until lunch time and then sleeps until she goes to work. She works night shift, my son is 17 and still in highschool.
I’m at work when she is sleeping but my son was home for the summer and he would wake her up to make him food. He would pester her until she did it so she could go back to sleep. It came to a head a month ago where my daughter lost it and I finally learned about it.
Anyways long conversation and as his punishment he has to make my daughter food when she asks for at any time the same amount she did for him.
So it was about 30 times he woke her up so he has to make her 30 meals. Everyone agreed, though my son wasn’t happy and picked it over losing his phone for a month.
So my daughter will wake him up to make her food, he still has 15 meals left. He hates it but it get the point across. Now school started and he got woken up last night to make her food.
So this morning he was tried as all hell. He went to his grandparents and I got in a huge argument with my mom. She thinks I am an asshole but the punishment fits the crime. My son won’t talk to me and I am questing myself even though my husband is backing up the punishment.
It’s literally 14 days now out of 185 school days. He won’t fail school, that’s extremely dramatic for two weeks of being a tired.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) implemented a strict, reciprocal punishment to address the son’s continuous disruption of his sister’s sleep schedule, leading to family conflict. While the OP stands by the fairness of the punishment fitting the severity of the initial action, the son is clearly resentful, and the grandmother strongly disagrees with the OP’s disciplinary approach.
Was the OP’s decision to enforce a prolonged, labor-intensive punishment—even if agreed upon initially—a justifiable method to teach the son respect and accountability, or did it create unnecessary long-term resentment that outweighs the lesson learned?
Here’s how people reacted:
But if he’s desperately unhappy AND everyone involved feels like he has sufficiently learned his lesson, perhaps you could call a Parole Board meeting, and ask your daughter what she thinks. Is there an alternate way your son can continue his sentence? Is there another way for him to make amends? What does your spouse think and what does your daughter think?
(Maybe ask your son, too, what he could do instead of making the same number of meals – his answer would be very enlightening. Because if he suggests some fluff offering then clearly he hasn’t learned, but if he is serious about being sorry his alternate suggestion should be a good one).
I think you are NTA for having your son face consequences, but you would be T A if you are overly rigid and refuse to reconsider your decisions in the face of all opposition.
Since he’s a snitch, though, I don’t think he’s getting it as much as he should. His grandparents are also the assholes, and probably filled his head with nonsense about how he doesn’t deserve this because he is their precious baby boy. I would pull rank and tell them they’re not allowed to undermine your parental authority like that or choose sides between your son and your daughter, and the next time they do that, you’re going to cut ties for a while.
Son should not have been waking up his employed sister after her night shift because he wanted a grilled cheese or whatever. That was bratty and entitled, and you were right to call him on that. But your daughter shouldn’t have waited until the thirtieth time that it happened to address the issue, nor should she have woken her brother up on a school night for petty revenge.
I think you should keep the punishment but set some reasonable limits on it, like “no asking for food after 12am” or something like that.
Education is also valuable and important – depends what he is doing but this is usually the important end of school and him being sleep deprived while ‘a fair punishment’ could potentially jeopardise his future.
Maybe meet in the middle and make it on the weekends?
this is karma, he’s getting what he deserves. your daughter was working when he was waking her up, meaning she was tired during work. he can go to sleep earlier if his sleep is so precious.
also, this is good parenting! his grandparents are clearly favouring your son. don’t change anything, he’s just seeing exactly how hard he made his sisters life.
NTA
Bhahahahaha!!!
This is the perfect punishment for a deliberate act to try and prove he had control over his sister.
My mother would have just told him to, “Kiss your sister and tell her you’re sorry”
Still laughing!!
There are lessons which are MUCH more important than the ones you learn at school. This is one of them.