Amid broken bones and looming court dates, love is tested by the harsh reality of consequences. Compassion clashes with anger as two hearts grapple with the aftermath of a night that changed everything, questioning whether forgiveness can survive the wreckage.
My wife (26f) and her friends went on a 4-day holiday to Las Vegas. She had saved money specifically to gamble and had planned on wearing revealing outfits.
Three days into the trip, she and her friends decided to drive drunk and were involved in an accident. All four occupants were significantly over the legal limit, and it appears the friend who was driving may face jail time.
They were attempting to drive to a newly opened bar.
My wife has a court date approaching.
She sustained a broken leg and currently relies on crutches for mobility.
I have told her that I am relieved she survived and did not die, but I am offering no sympathy for her injury.
She is upset by my lack of care, accusing me of being extremely mean. Am I the jerk (AITA)?
Conclusion
The original poster is experiencing a deep conflict between his relief that his wife survived a serious accident and his refusal to offer sympathy for her resulting broken leg, stemming from his judgment regarding her drunk driving. The central conflict lies in his belief that her injury is a deserved consequence of her poor choices, while his wife expects emotional support during her recovery, regardless of the cause of the injury.
The core question is whether a spouse is obligated to provide comfort and care for injuries sustained while engaging in reckless, dangerous, and illegal behavior, or if the resulting physical harm justifies withholding sympathy based on personal moral judgment. Is it acceptable to prioritize moral condemnation over spousal support during recovery from an injury?
Here’s how people reacted:
Lucky (?) she just broke her leg. I hope there is never a next time; but, if there ever is I hope she’ll be the friend in the group to speak up and suggest a group cab/uber/lyft.
I’ve had two family members hit by drunk drivers in 2 different states. One almost died, the other one was a lot more broken than just a leg. I hope her friend loses her license.
NTA!
Drunk driving is a dick move. Majorly.
I don’t think you owe your wife much or even any sympathy, but saying you’re glad she was hurt goes far beyond that. (See below)
Also if your wife was charged, it probably means the police believe that she was the one driving and switched with a passenger. There’s typically not criminal liability merely for being a passenger of a drunk driver. (Apparently she’s only a witness)
ETA: misread. He’s glad she *only* broke her leg. Changed to NTA. **and** she wasn’t actually charged. I’m really firing on all cylinders today.
Her and all of her friends are huge, gaping assholes. Drink driving is off the most ridiculously selfish things you can do.
You’re maybe, kinda a little bit of an asshole? But only if you refuse to try and help her get about. I know her absolutely moronic decision got her into her this current predicament, but I’d still be inclined to help her out. Hopefully her physical struggles will remind her how shitty it would be if her and her friends fucking paralysed somebody. But no, I don’t think she deserves your sympathy, even if you should help her getting around.
By not offering sympathies it shows your disapproval of the group’s decision to drive drunk. Your wife should know better to get into the car with someone drunk who could possibly drive into a person or worse a group of people instead. Being mean is appropriate here when drunk driving is a toxic and extremely dangerous behavior.
Being married to her for better or worse does not apply here.
Good for you for not encouraging that behavior. Hopefully she will wise up and not participate in such a behavior anymore.
Either way, Lyft exists for a reason. You are certainly being callous regarding a trip it seems like you didn’t support from the start, and your wife exercised poor judgment getting into a car with an intoxicated driver.
Either way, it seems you two have a lot of communication and resentment issues to work out.
Hopefully this is a wakeup call for all of them.
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Edit: Thank you for the gold and silver, kind strangers! Happy to know so many of us are passionate against drunk driving.
Honestly ya she willingly got into a vehicle with a drunk driver, first mistake. Second mistake thinking people should feel bad that she got injured…. Ya no way in hell. She’s lucky that it’s just a broken leg, and they didn’t kill an innocent person.
Also I think its weird that you mention they “picked out super sexy outfits” for the trip. Why is that relevant?
She obviously acted super irresponsibly and inconsiderately, but you agreed to be her partner for life and you should be supporting her and caring for her through her injury. Come on man.
It’s your wife; have some sympathy. I’m sure she knows what they did was wrong without having her husband rub her nose in it.