I totally understand you want to have empathy for Sophie and her mom, but that empathy can’t come at the expense of other kids. Biting another person is a very serious issue, that could have medical implications to the bitten child. If I had a child in your room, that was bitten by Sophie, after it’s been repeatedly documented by the staff and then not followed through properly (sounds like expulsion should have already happened because she has bitten multiple kids) I would also be very upset and want to complain to the boss. The fact that the mom and boss are also friends doesn’t really matter here, because I would think any mom would be angry their child got bit and the offender had no repercussions.

Soft YTA for not following your explicit job instructions and putting other children in harms way because of it. Expelling Sophie definitely sounds too harsh because of her delicate situation, I would try talking to the boss about more optimistic solutions though, like keeping Sophie separated until the biting issue can be figured out/handled or at least suspending her for the 2 days so she can be with her grandma who might be able to help her stop this bad habit. It’s not fair to the other kids that they have to be bitten because their classmate’s mom is in the hospital. Definitely don’t envy your situation, and of course I’m not a teacher so I don’t know that proper way to handle other kids, just giving my thoughts as an outsider.

Thank you so much for standing up for that baby. She’s scared. Her mommy is gone. Dads attention is probably going to being at the hospital with Mom. This kid must be so scared and worried, but lacks the understanding of what to do and how to act.

As a mom who’s spent some time away from my kids hospitalized, it was an awful experience for all of us, and it was only 3 days. If I lost my childcare for a period during that time, I don’t know what we’d have done.

Sounds like your boss is a fucking coward. Talk to your assistant teacher. If this child is suspended while dealing with this scary life event, both of you walk out. No daycare can afford to lose all the teachers in a 2 year old room. If your boss is so fucking far up her friend’s ass that shes lost empathy, then she shouldn’t be running a daycare. Perhaps she’d be a better prison warden?

NTA

A good boss needs to do the hard shit and shield the employees from bullshit.

I can’t say if you are right to be extra lenient on the little girl when it also negatively effecting other students who shouldn’t have to fear being bit at preschool. I don’t know if suspension is right or if there are other better options.

I do know you are right that your boss needs to suspend the kid if they want them suspended. If they are making the decision and they are setting the policy, then they need to be responsible for it when it becomes a difficult job.

Trying to make you handle the fallout of their decisions is what a shitty boss would do.

So NTA regardless of the right way to handle the little girl who is struggling.

YTA – for letting a vampire remain in the classroom. It’s not fair to the rest of the children and parents who just want their kids to be safe and unbitten. Rules are rules and no biting is a pretty basic one. It doesn’t matter what Sophie is going through, she needs to know biting other people is not tolerated and she needs to face the consequences of her actions. It’s not up to you to enforce the suspension policy or not, it’s not up to you to fix Sophie.

What gives you the right to put the wellbeing of Sophie above everyone else’s in the class? How dare you.

Yta.
A human bite can be extremely dangerous for breaks the skin. You expect other parents to potentially pay thousands for an emergency room visit because that little girl is stressed. Yes, the girl is in a bad situation and has a tough time. But you make every other child pay for this. Where is your empathy for the kids who get bitten. Also this seems to be a multiple times a day issue. So the situation is completely out of hand and you can’t control it. Even after spending a whole day 1:1 there was still an accident.

Sophie’s method of handling the distress is not safe to the other kids. That’s it. She is posing a danger to them. You do not have enough staff to have someone watch her one-on-one the entire time, and while you can redirect her to cuddle a stuffy or something for at least part of the stress-handling, you cannot prevent all the bites. Sophie is in a terrible spot, and she needs to be there…but the other kids also have the right to be safe. She needs to stay with grandmother a few days.

YTA. Other kids are being hurt and traumatized by you allowing this to continue. Your responsibility is to ALL the kids under your care, not just the one you feel sorry for.

By allowing this to continue you are reinforcing her bad behavior with no consequences. Suspend, her, have granny come get her and recommend therapy for the child.

Your boss has been tolerant, I’d have fired you on the spot having learned it wasn’t an isolated incident and you had allowed it to continue.

Putting suspensions on the lead teacher is insane. I’ve worked at daycares before and discipline like that should never be put on a teacher. It should always default to the director.

However, if that is your policy and you aren’t applying it equally, soft YTA. I get that she has a lot going on, but I’m sure other kids have as well when they bit. Just because their parents weren’t as forthcoming with background doesn’t mean they deserved suspension while this girl doesn’t.

A gentle YTA. I understand why you’re doing what you’re doing but you have a specific policy to address this problem and it falls to the lead teacher to uphold the policy. If the rule is broken for one individual then it can be broken for all and is an ineffective rule. Have you suspended or not suspended other children for biting? If you are unable to uphold your employer’s policies whenever you choose you are not the right fit for your position plain and simple.

YTA, you are a horrible teacher to all the other kids. I feel so sorry for them seeing as the one who is supposed to protect them is fine with them being hurt.

Her mom being in hospital is not a permission for her to hurt others! If Sophie cannot control her biting, she needs to be kept apart from the others to protect **them.**

The parents need to be informed that you have a favorite and are ok with having their kids being bitten again and again.

As someone with a kid on the spectrum, who had to deal with a biting kid at daycare (he bit other kids as well, not just mine), that the staff seemed to bend over backwards to defend the biter, I hope you do more to protect the other kids getting bitten.

I understand you want to show empathy to the child, but please also consider the damage done to the other children being hurt and scared.

YTA – in the comments you say that you’ve suspended children before for biting but you course not to do it with this child because you choose to “sympathise” with her situation while other children have to suffer from her boring.
How is this fair? No parent wants their child to be in danger at daycare. Your putting all children in danger now. Medically too. Biting can be very dangerous.

NTA …. 2 years old … Getting suspended for biting?? It’s rare for a child even without trauma to bypass the biting stage of frustration let alone one that’s not quite verbal etc….. One on one of possible and stern reprimands and she’ll learn other coping mechanisms. But also if you could get permission to sit other parent down and explain the situation etc

Is it possible that the upset parent would be sympathetic if they knew the situation? If so, see if Sophie’s Mom is OK with sharing. In the meantime, regardless of the circumstance, do you have a plan to keep Sophie from regularly biting? While her behavior is understandable, the rest of the class should not be in constant fear of being bit.

Sorry yta.

You have good intentions. But you are letting other kids get bitten. The rules says 3 and you’re gone. In another comment you say even when you and your aide did 1 on 1 with her she still bite someone when you have to take care of another situation. While she is in an awful situation. She is still biting other kids.

Has anyone tried to teach Sophie sign language so she can communicate better? Little kids pick it up much quicker and if they are nonverbal it’s an easy way to help them. I don’t think you’re an a****** but you need to think of a way to help her communicate since she is clearly missing her mom.

You’re going to have to separate Sophie from the other kids one way or another. Sympathy is one thing, abuse even from a child is another. You’re there to teach her how to behave. What you’re doing, your actions are telling her it’s ok to bite. Shalom you’re loved 💔

Bruh back in rhe day we all bit each other and parents accepted thet had toddlers. I don’t think showing grace to rhis family is a problem.. like ok suspend her and add more stress?
But mom sees the kid and “ why is she still there?!” She’s a toddler. Jesus

YTA. While Sophie’s situation is unfortunate, she is placing other children in danger by being there. Biting is serious. Other than possibly leaving another child scarred for life, it could also cause diseases or sickness to be spread.

While I think you can be sympathetic to a point it is wildly unfair to all the kids who keep getting bit by Sophie. She should suspended because that is the rule – especially since it sounds like she’s well exceeded her ‘three bites’.

NTA encourage the grandmother to have someone FaceTime her daughter in the hospital so Sophie can talk to her if she is conscious. People try to protect the kids but the reality is talking to her granddaughter might help calm her down

Rules are rules and you wouldn’t like anyone biting your child so why keep subjecting the other kids to it. Biting is nasty, it causes infections and if your job that you signed up for has rules in place, respect and follow the rules.

NTA (not the A-hole). Your boss is definitely the A-hole for not taking into account Sophie’s situation and for not being present to handle the situation herself. Way to stand up for your student!

This is a tough one because while I sympathize with Sophie and her family situation, the other children must be regarded as well. As a nurse human bites when skin is broken, can be detrimental.

NTA Since this started happening after mom went to hospital am wondering if whoever is caring for child is biting her to make her talk properly. Have you looked for any bite Mark’s on Sophie?

I mean zero tolerance is a rule for a reason but since your boss is the one who suspended her than your boss can deal with it. Bottom line though is this something worth losing your job over?

I also work part-time in a nursery… toddlers bite… that‘s typical behaviour, especially under these circumstances. We would never kick out a child bc of biting under these circumstances…

YTA

Why do the children getting hurt not matter to you?

Why do the rules not matter? Plenty of children lash out due to personal issues. But they’re still HURTING OTHERS.

I don’t work with the same age group, I teach middle school, but I absolutely think you did the right thing. Take care of her during this, obviously, stressful time.

why havent you done anything? maybe keep a closer eye? separate her from the group? have a talk with here how she can do other stuff instead of biting?

NTA – You’re standing up for a child who is going through a difficult time and showing compassion and understanding. Your boss should try it sometime.

No mercy in the dsy care game, especially with Karen parents involved. Sit her outside too to wait for her guardian after suspending her!

NTA. As a former pre school teacher, it is not your job to the tell the parents about the suspension. That is the directors job.

You directly went against your employer’s policy and totally ignored a directive from your boss. YATAH

I’m sorry but YTA. I work in a similar environment. Sophie’s peers deserve to be safe.

Your description says the discretion is your choice. Do what you think is right. NTA

Your job is to protect all the kids, not just Sophie.

28 mth almost potty trained is not win..