Then came her twin brother, still trapped in the toxic environment she had escaped, seeking refuge with his girlfriend by her side. Despite the cramped quarters and the weight of their shared history, she opened her door, driven by love and the hope that together, they might rebuild what was broken and find solace in each other’s presence.
So I’m a 24 year old who moved out of their parents place a couple years back. My parents are terrible people and we’re very cruel to me and my brother growing up. I’ve very much enjoyed the space to myself and it has been the only time in my life I’ve truly felt safe.
My twin brother (Zack ) didn’t move out and was also pretty miserable living with my parents. About 8 months ago he asked if he and his GF (Kat) could stay with me for a while, as he started school a couple years after me and isn’t financially in a place where he can afford his own place.
Knowing how shitty my parents are, and how much of a good guy and gal Zack and Kat are it really wasn’t much of a decision. I just told them to chip in when they can and as long as I’m not paying for their food or anything like that it’s chill for the time being.
Things have been fine and Zack and Kat have been nothing but respectful to me and my place. The place is on the smaller side but Zack is usually at school or work and Kat works a good amount of the time, so I’m not usually super bothered by it.
Their plan has been to love out once Zack graduates which will probably be 2023 at the rate he’s going. So I’d most likely be living with them another year and a half to two years.
Now that wasnt much of an issue to me as they don’t really have anywhere to go and I totally get not wanting move back in with out parents. The thing is tho is about a week back they revealed to me they were pregnant.
While I think it’s awesome, and am excited for them, this severely throws a wrench into out living arrangement. I really can’t deal with a baby living with us for the extended future.
I’m someone who’s very sensitive to noises and suffers insomnia. So a crying baby would literally make my life hell on Earth.
When I asked them what they were planning on doing they said they were going to keep it as Kat doesn’t believe in abortion and they feel as if they’d make good parents ( they definitely would, they’re great people) .
I said oh well congrats then! We ended the conversation there for that night.
The next day I asked them what their plans were for housing in the near future as they know about my sleeping condition and how I’d feel with a baby/toddler in the house. They said theyd have to stay here as they didn’t really have anywhere else to go.
I told them that won’t be happening for reasons stated earlier. They both got very upset and accused me of “forcing them to abort their baby”
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is facing a difficult conflict between their deep need for personal safety and peace, established after escaping a toxic home environment, and their supportive relationship with their brother and his partner. By agreeing to house them, the OP prioritized family support, but the unexpected pregnancy introduces a new, non-negotiable element—a crying infant—that directly threatens the OP’s established sanctuary and mental health.
The core debate centers on whether the OP has the right to protect their personal well-being and established boundaries from a change they did not agree to, or if their obligation to support their family overrides their need for a quiet living space, especially when the alternative suggested by the brother is abortion. Should the OP enforce their boundary now, or find an unsustainable compromise?
Here’s how people reacted:
So they know your opinion on this, and think they can just try to force you into doing what they want because ????
Also, the above paragraph is definitive proof that the following quote is wrong.
> they feel as if they’d make good parents ( they definitely would, they’re great people)
They won’t be good parents, at least not right now. Being a good person is not a guarantee that a person will be a good parent.
I’m not even sure they’re being good people right now, they’re trying to force you into financially supporting their decision to have a child, knowing how much how significantly this will lower your quality of life.
NTA.
You need to give them an eviction notice ASAP. You didn’t mention if the gf worked or not. If not, she needs to get her ass a job ASAP, and her and your brother need to figure out their own lives.
It is absolutely not your responsibility, it is theirs only.
EDIT: typos
But that means they have to start being adults and being responsible for another person. That includes housing, food, medical, utilities…. everything that comes with being a responsible adult.
They just can’t expect to keep the status quo when they’re the ones changing the circumstances.
They need to grow up and find their own alternative. Maybe Zach needs to go to school part time and get a full time job.
I frankly would try to get them out sooner than later.
Is there any way they can live with Kat’s parents?
The thing is that you don’t know if, to what extent and how long the baby would be keeping you up. But unless you hate children you would probably get a whole lot of unparalleled love out of it.
NTA.