I had to move out of my in laws RV because of this. I worked 10PM-7AM. I would get home around 8, take care of my dog, have a shower, then go to bed. So around 9:30-10AM.

The RV was away from the house, yet my in laws would INSIST on waking me up between 12-2 for lunch. Every weekend. I worked weekends (retail) as well as most of the week. I would explain that I had only been asleep a few hours and I was exhausted. They would get so upset that I didn’t want to have family time. They had family dinners but they expected me to be at both. My husband tried to explain it to them too but they just called me lazy.

Yeah. We didn’t stay their long. OP, if your parents can’t respect your sleep hours due to your job, move out. I know you want to help them, but it seems like they don’t want to help you. NTA but your parents are.

Edit: forgot to say who was the jerk here.

ESH your mum for very obvious reasons. But you can’t just threaten not to pay at least the share of utilities that you are personally responsible for making. You don’t suddenly use less water or internet cause your sleep schedule gets disturbed do you? Honestly I think the best solution is to just move out. In the meantime perhaps suggest you pay only your share of the utilities and a contribution of rent. The rent will entitle you to ‘peaceful enjoyment of the property’ and give you something to reasonably withhold if your mum keeps waking you up.

I N F O do you pay all the house utilities or just your share?

NTA. She is setting an absurd rule that would mess with your sleep and job. She’s not only being selfish, but also not understanding at all, even when you’re the one paying for all the bills ?!

Until you move out, I think you only should threaten to stop paying their part of the utilities, since you still live there and use them. The moment you can move out, tho, you should go away and let them manage on their own, since they don’t seem to care about your needs.

ESH
It’s tough trying to get people to understand that late/night working moves your day around. It may be that your parents aren’t really thinking about the fact that you work half a day different to most people.
Try talking to your parents, explaining that your breakfast is at 7pm, what time you sleep etc.

The other option is to offer a ‘rent’ payment so you’re not living free of charge, thus able to sleep when you need to & leave them to sort out bills.

NTA, though I would point out that paying part of the utilities isn’t the same as rent.

Your parents are absolutely the AH for not respecting your sleep schedule. It’s not like you’re just staying up all night gaming. You have a good job which enables you to help them make ends meet.

You should consider getting your own place if they won’t respect you in this important aspect of your life.

Wake up Sunday morning for breakfast and have a serious sit down talk with your mom and dad. Tell them in a calm voice “Mom, Dad, FUCK YOUR RULES” and then go back to sleep. JBTA(just be the asshole). They will leave you alone. BTW YTA threatening to not pay utilities in these hard times. You need each other, support each other. Can I please have some karma points?

ESH. You moms not being very understanding of your work/sleep situation. Either ignore her and go back to sleep or go and find your own place. You can’t just stop paying bills over this, you use these utilities too so you need to pay atleast your fair share. The fact that you don’t pay rent either gives you even less of a leg to stand on.

It’s one day a week. Suck it up and go back to bed.

If you’re better off outside their house, go live by yourself. Pay the utilities and rent. Without being woken up on sundays.

The joys of living at home are, you are at home. Sure you pay some utilities, but probably not all of them.

YTA I’m afraid. It’s one morning.

NTA. Sounds like she’s trying to actively sabotage your job. Is she in general supportive of your career?

And I’m not sure where all the ESH’s are coming from. In Filipino culture, it’s fairly common to live with your parents. And even if it wasn’t, it’s abusive of her mother to try to dictate her sleep schedule.

NTA. Your job forces you to keep weird hours so you gotta get sleep when you can. Your mom is being unreasonable, especially since you’re the one paying all the utilities at the moment.

NTA. Tell her that you’ll be happy to have breakfast together as a family when you wake up at noon. You can call it brunch, or you can call it a compromise, whatever she prefers.

NTA – But I’d start looking for somewhere else to live.

Will your mother compromise by having dinner instead? Maybe have dinner at 6pm one night instead of breakfast?

ESH. I was on your side until you threatened to stop contributing to the expenses. I switched over to thinking that you need to move out if it means that much to you.

NTA. She’s not respecting you as an adult. She is treating you like a child. Cut the apron strings as soon as you can move.

Stop paying bills save your money and leave their house. Since they call you selfish be selfish and leave the house.

NTA You have a valid reason for your sleep schedule and you’re an adult anyway. She shouldn’t be so controlling.