Betrayed and unheard, the homeowner’s anger boils beneath a forced calm, words sharp with the sting of broken trust. The harsh insults hurled in the heat of conflict only deepen the wounds, leaving a painful rift where friendship once stood, and a home turned into a prison of unacknowledged grievances.
My friend and his girlfriend live with me. We don’t have a signed agreement since we’re friends. She just got surgery and told me her family is coming to visit. All 4 of them. For 2 weeks.
I got very upset, but nothing I can do now. I set the rules of them paying the utilities for the month and no noise past 9. They don’t always comply. I got very angry that they are staying an extra week from what I was told.
I own the home. You can tell in my tone of voice I’m very angry due to the lack of boundary respect and consideration. I was called a fucking idiot and selfish.
Conclusion
The original poster is clearly feeling angry and disrespected due to a perceived violation of agreed-upon living arrangements, especially concerning boundaries regarding guests and noise control in their own home. The central conflict arises from the guest’s family overstaying their welcome and the resulting escalation where the homeowner was insulted after expressing frustration.
Given the clash between the homeowner’s right to set rules in their property and the guests’ alleged disregard for those rules, the key question is whether setting verbal boundaries is sufficient in cohabitation situations, or if formalizing agreements is necessary to prevent such severe boundary violations and subsequent emotional distress.
Here’s how people reacted:
You have squatters. In many jurisdictions, her family may be considered legal residents now.
Consult a real estate attorney, stat, on how to legally evict them all. Let your friend know that unless the family is gone in 3 days, you will be evicting him and the girlfriend as well.
If you are in the USA, with no written agreement, the typical standard is 30 days notice – it may be slightly different as you reside in the home as well.
Is weed legal in your area? If not – stop. If not legal around kids – stop until you consult said attorney. Consult said attorney about the legalities of you shutting off the non-essentials. You can’t for instance, cut off the water and power to oust them. But cable? Internet? Maybe. Same with the weed smoking. Ask the attorney if that is advisable (probably not, as they’ve indicated that minor children are bothered by it and there is such a thing as a contact high). If they are eating your food – get a small fridge for your room and a lock. Empty out the kitchen fridge of all your things.
Don’t do anything without consulting the attorney on what your rights and responsibilities are. Don’t just listen to Reddit that says “kick them out”
Eviction is first and then perhaps small claims court for damages.
Pull your friend aside and tell him that they have to go. That you didn’t agree to so many people staying for so long and that it’s **your** house. If he hems and haws, tell him you’re prepared to get authorities involved.
Look into the laws in your area, as you didn’t have them sign a lease, it could spell trouble for you if you want them to move out because of this. I’d look into what leases are common for your area and have them sign one. Most leases have a clause about guests.
Evict them and sue them for unpaid rent and utilities. They clearly don’t respect you. The longer her family stays the more chance they have for becoming tenants. You need to find out what the timing is for becoming tenants. It usually doesn’t matter if they don’t pay. If they aren’t tenants, you can have them trespassed. You need to stand up for yourself and take action. Speaking to them has not worked.
As for your “friends,” evict them. Nobody that cares about you would try to squeeze you out of your own home this way.
Well guess what their choice was.? I’m chuckling now thinking about it. They left the next weekend. And of course I threw them out blah blah blah blah.
They all lied about it.
To you all…. Hahaha fuck you.
Check your budget/savings. Can you afford the bills for a while?
If you can afford it, it’s time to tell them “this isn’t working out.” The friendship may take a hit, but they are the AH for abusing the friendship.
Next time, you need to put together an ironclad lease to retain control of your property.
If they won’t pay their utilities, are now extending their stay without consulting you, and trying to boss you around, then time them out, time for an eviction.
Take pictures of EVERYTHING right before the eviction is served so you have evidence of house condition in case they intentionally damage anything on their exit.
It’s your home, this is all within your rights.
You were disrespected in your own home.
No way that flies.
I don’t care who is recovering from surgery. Serve them those papers and get them out
This is the dumbest shit you can do.
they’re not wrong there. you’re being a sucker