Years later, alone but unbroken, he embraced the quiet strength of independence, holding onto a rare treasure—a home steeped in memories and trust. Amidst the urban chaos, that two-bedroom sanctuary stood as a symbol of endurance, hope, and the unyielding spirit of moving forward.
Back in 2008 when I started University, I rented a 2 bedroom apartment with my (exex)girlfriend at the time and my friend & his girlfriend. We got a great deal for it, as the owner of the place lost his job because of everything that happened back then and decided to try her luck abroad where she still lives.
Years went by and after University my friend and his GF decided to find a place of their own, as we had full-time jobs, renting this apartment together did not seem expensive anymore, and also did not seem expensive to rent alone after we broke up some time later.
So there I was, alone in a 2-bedroom apartment in the central part of the city. The owner decided that she was too lazy to mess with bills and stuff every month and made arrangements for me to pay everything directly, as I earned her trust, I still pay her monthly rent which is very cheap for today and deal with everything else having her authorization.
Because of the perfect location, my second bedroom was basically “free BNB” for my friends who did not live in the city and I did not mind, it is good to have company if you live alone.
In 2020 I met a girl who was in a rush to get married and as I was madly in love we did in 2021. For some reason, I never told her the story of how I rented the place or that it was a rental at all, it just never came up!
I have been so used to the fact that I am an authorized representative with building cooperative things etc, that I refer to it as my place.
Our relationship started to cool down and we found out that we were not perfect for each other after all, so divorce it is.
So we did the paperwork for divorce and she is moving out. A few days ago I received an email from her with a real estate valuation document as an attachment – while I was not at home she wasted 500€ for someone to evaluate an apartment that does not belong to us…
and wrote that I probably have to take a loan to pay her the 50% of that. I replied to her, didn’t I ever tell her that this place is a rental? Why does she even assume that I can afford a 2-bedroom apartment in the city centre?
She knows where I work and how much I earn.
She called and screamed at me, that I had lied to her for years and hid the fact that the apartment was rental! Then she tells me that well, she will take the car as we got that together!
And I was quiet for a moment and then told her: “You do know that is a lease right?
The owner of the car is the bank!”
Then she demanded that I pay for the valuation and I replied “I did not ask you to do it!”
She called me an asshole and ended the call.
Of course, she told our whole friends group how I “lied to her during the whole marriage” and there was a discussion in a messenger group with friends that if is it a lie or not, whether was it an asshole thing to do, some agree with me and some with her.
My best friend told me, that this is a perfect topic for a Reddit thread! Now I ask you Reddit, AITA?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is facing conflict because they presented a rented apartment, managed under a long-term arrangement, as their own property to their spouse during their marriage. The core conflict arises when the divorce settlement demands equalize assets based on this misrepresentation, leading to financial claims the OP cannot meet regarding the property and associated costs like a valuation fee.
The situation forces a debate: Was the OP’s failure to disclose the rental status of the apartment a significant lie that justifies the spouse’s expectations regarding asset division and incurred costs, or were the spouse’s actions (hiring an evaluator without consultation and demanding payment) unreasonable given the OP’s clear inability to afford outright ownership?
Here’s how people reacted:
She sounds like a money grabbing b***h, and I’m happy that you rent your apartment and lease your car so you aren’t losing half of them to her.
At least now you know for sure who she is and that you made the right decision to get divorced.
NTA for not disclosing the rental, though I do find it strange you guys seem to have somehow not communicated enough regarding finances/assets before and during your common life together.
She tried so hard…
NTA. it’s weird that it didn’t come up at some point but you are not an ah for not specifically telling her
I literaly spilled the tea cup i was having when i read thay. Perefect reply.
Btw, NTA. There is something called “due diligence”. Apparently, she failed doing hers.