When her sister’s sharp voice shattered the calm, accusing her of wearing something “too skimpy,” the air thickened with tension. What was meant to be a carefree day by the pool suddenly became a battleground of misunderstandings and unspoken resentments, leaving their sibling bond strained and fragile as never before.
I LOVE to swim and since we have a swimming pool in our back yard I am practically swimming daily. I don’t think I own a 1 piece swim suit so I am always wearing a 2 piece swim suit.
My sister’s BF lives like 5 minutes away from our place and he spends a lot of time here. the living room has a sliding glass door to the back yard and the window to my sister’s room is looking outside the backyard.
I was taking a nap in the grass after I was done swimming and listening to music. I didn’t even know my sister had her BF over cause I was in the back yard for basically the whole afternoon (12-4).
My sister woke me up and called me an AH, for wearing something so “skimpy” around her BF. I asked her what she meant and I guess her BF kept looking out the window while I was napping/swimming (I know weird).
I told her that if he was looking at me that is his problem and that I wasn’t trying to cause anything. She was PISSED at me, like I haven’t seen her this mad at me since we were kids and had to share a room.
She full on told me “not to dress like a whore when her BF is over”. I told her to get the fuck over herself and if she has a problem with her BF looking AT ME then she should talk with him not me.
I then went to my room and we didn’t speak for the rest of the day till dinner. AITA?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) feels justified in wearing their preferred swimwear in their own yard, asserting that any issue lies with the boyfriend’s actions or the sister’s reaction, not their attire. The central conflict revolves around a clash between the OP’s sense of personal freedom and comfort in their space versus the sister’s expectation that the OP should moderate their appearance to manage her boyfriend’s behavior.
Given these opposing viewpoints—personal autonomy in one’s own space versus respecting a sibling’s relationship boundaries—is the OP entirely correct to refuse changing their clothing habits, or did they have a responsibility to moderate their dress out of respect for the sister’s feelings and relationship security?
Here’s how people reacted:
Edit: Gonna clarify the objectifying part. I agree that looking at someone does not equate to objectifying another’s body. However, I believe it is if you are looking with sexual intent. Either he was very obviously and not at all trying to hide his sexual attraction to OP or sister is insecure enough to to think he is.
but thats no where near what happened.
your sis has issues, maybe with self esteem, maybe with her relationship, maybe with her relationship with you. and the evidence for that is equating a bikini while swimming and sunbathing with a “whore”.thats way out of line. Don’t go to your room, go back to the pool.
her issues are her responsibility don’t let her project them on to you. NTA
My conclusion is assuming sister’s bf was staring at you, which I think is probably the case. If your sister was disturbed enough to get mad at you while her bf was acting normal, you would have known about her issues before.
edit: yes, sorry, I do agree that even is she was wearing her bikini ”just because” this would be appropriate, but I do think that detail would have made her sister sound more reasonable (even though she’d still be wrong)
She’s angry at her boyfriend but she doesn’t want to fight with him so she’s trying to solve the problem on your side, instead of talking to her boyfriend about staring at you.
Or she’s insecure and her boyfriend wasn’t actually staring at you.
EDIT: Thank you, AlwaysSleepy22, JaggedEdgeRow and fmred000! ☀
It is near impossible for a guy to avoid looking at a bikini, keep that in mind. Maybe recommend sunglasses.