In the quiet tension of a casual Starbucks visit, a brief exchange with a young cashier becomes a mirror reflecting her vulnerabilities and frustrations. What should have been a comforting treat morphs into a poignant moment of misunderstanding, shaking her resolve in the final stretch of her pregnancy journey.
I, a 30F, am currently 8 months pregnant. I’m at the point now where I just want to push this kid out. I’m irritable, can’t sleep, uncomfortable, and I hate that I need to pee every 30 minutes.
Prior to my pregnancy, I loved coffee and caffeine. When I got pregnant, my doctor told me I should limit my coffee/caffeine tea consumption to about 1 8 oz cup a day, with at most being 1 12 oz cup a day.
I’ve been having my 8 oz cup of coffee about 3-4 days a week, and my baby is doing just fine 🙂 (for those who don’t know, excess caffeine can cause harm to fetuses.)
Today, I slept particularly bad, and I really wanted to treat myself with a coffee from Starbucks. I don’t usually go out to get food, so this is a true treat.
The cashier looked quite young to me. He must have been in his late teens or early twenties. He took one look at me and told me I shouldn’t be drinking coffee. I told him it was fine, and ordered a small flat white.
The cashier then told me he wasn’t going to serve me and that, again, I shouldn’t be drinking coffee. I want to say usually, I understand most people like this come from a good place and wants what’s best for my baby.
But today, I just felt so bad. I got angry.
I asked to see the manager and I told the manager the situation. I told him the cashier isn’t my doctor, that he doesn’t know what he is talking about, and I deserve service here. The manager asked me what I thought he should do, and I suggested firing the cashier.
I sited that the cashier shouldn’t judge or play doctor for the clients, and judging on the smug look on the employee, he may do this again on another women!
The manager placed my order in and told me the employee with receive a harsh punishment or termination. The manager said he needs to think about this more.
I left the store with my coffee but I feel bad about this. Am I an asshole?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) experienced significant emotional distress due to the cashier’s unsolicited judgment about her limited caffeine intake during her late pregnancy. Her subsequent reaction, demanding disciplinary action against the employee, stemmed from a feeling of being judged and having her autonomy questioned at a time when she already felt vulnerable and uncomfortable.
Was the OP justified in escalating the situation to demand the cashier’s termination over a poorly delivered suggestion, or did her frustration lead to a disproportionate response against a well-intentioned but misguided employee?
Here’s how people reacted:
**You were 100% right, he isn’t your doctor and shouldn’t be giving medical advice from stuff (albeit somewhat true) that he heard on the internet or from someone else.**
You are SO NTA in this situation and you have a right to be concerned about him giving ‘advice’ to future people and potentially about other things, not just about pregnancy and coffee.
*He had no right to refuse you service and it could be grounds for discrimination under human rights as it could be refusing you service due to a natural bodily function of your sex/gender iirc.*
I’m not a lawyer so I could be wrong but imo that fits under the definition of discriminations imo.
However OP I would go to a new coffee place because his co-worker may not take to kindly to you getting their co-worker fired if they were friendly with him and they may mess with your food/drink.
***Also congrats on the pregnancy and I wish you a safe and well delivery!***
Cashier probably was well intentioned but shouldn’t have done that and needs to learn.
Customers should be allowed to raise a concern, but demanding an outcome of someone losing their job is rarely good.
People make mistakes, especially younger employees, allowing corrective action to be taken rather than jumping straight to loss of job is a far far superior outcome. It allows the recognition of a fault or error and more importantly stops it from happening again, while also probably making some young inexperienced person a little bit more professional in the future. A customer saying to an employer “I won’t be satisfied until that young person is out of a job” is just cruel.
Also that well intentioned young person might be your kid one day.
Good luck with the baby.
On another note, saw this on another post. Another OP, when questioned about their pregnancy, simply said “I’m not pregnant” and immediately made the person feel super awkward and back way off.
However in the end, the managers recourse is not at all your decisions. You were mearly an opinion that might help influence his decision, which will likely be based upon all other factors related to the employee.
You wouldn’t be the result of his firing, the employee and his manager are.
## Pregnant bodies are not public property.
. And, like, WTF???? I’ve gone into a Starbucks and bought something for _someone else_.
Even if the barista was A DOCTOR, he isn’t YOUR doctor.
If you’d demanded he be fired, you’d be the asshole. The manager ASKED what you thought was appropriate, and you answered. You’re good.
Certainly, the barista needs to be talked to but lose his job in part because you were having a bad day? That’s what makes you TA.
NTA. And I would write a review of the particular Starbucks on-line. The kid needs more than just a “harsh talking to” (that’s unlikely to even happen) IMO.
It’s actually quite frightening the encroachment of what people can say/do to women just because they’re pregnant.