Amidst promises made and broken, the son’s presence becomes a silent battleground where frustration festers, and harsh words cut deeper than any punishment. The husband’s unwillingness to truly connect reveals the fragile threads holding this family together, threatening to unravel the very foundation of their shared home.
Hi all. My husband and I (both mid 40s) have been married for 4 years. When hubby and I met my son was 5. It was just my son and I for the first 5 years. (Bio dad never wanted anything to do with son).
When hubby and I met, I told him I had a son and if that was a no go then don’t waste either of our time. He said that even though he didn’t want a child we were a package deal, so he was fine.
Over the years he would say “If he was my kid I’d” enter whatever punishment. Or “He shouldn’t be sleeping on the couch” even when he was puking half the night. “He doesnt need to be up your ass 24/7”.
The digs have just gotten worse. The lastest was a few weeks ago when he took a holiday. While I was working he would watch my son (12 at this point). He messaged me on day 3 saying “I’m leaving for a few hours I can’t stand being in this fucking house.” When I get home he isn’t home.
No big deal son is old enough to be at home for an hour alone. He knows not to cook anything or answer the doors,ect. When I get home I ask son why Husband left. He said “He got mad because I was watching TV in the living room because mine isn’t working.
Told me to get my ass upstairs.”
I’m thinking divorce. This isn’t the first time something like this has happen. Hubby hardly ever wants son around in the living room when we are all home together. He thinks kids are to be locked in their room.
He “has a tv so does he need to be done here with us”. I feel like my son’s mental state will be harmed if we keep living the life we have. So, am I the ass hole for thinking about divorce?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is facing a severe conflict between her commitment to her husband and her protective instinct toward her son. Her husband’s consistent negative behavior and blatant preference for excluding the son from shared family spaces demonstrate a fundamental incompatibility regarding co-parenting and acceptance of the son as part of the family unit. The OP is struggling with the emotional cost of maintaining the marriage versus protecting her child’s well-being.
Given the history of minimizing the son’s presence and the husband’s recent volatile outburst, is the OP justified in considering divorce solely based on the incompatibility of creating a welcoming home environment for her child, or does the four-year commitment necessitate further attempts at mediation before dissolving the marriage?
Here’s how people reacted:
I hope he turns around and becomes a dad or you just leave.
Your kid should come first.