In the quiet moments of the drive home, a mother’s fury erupts, a desperate cry for acknowledgment in a world that seems intent on forgetting. Her defiance is a beacon of fierce love and unyielding remembrance, a vow that no wound, no matter how deep, will ever be ignored or erased.
My 14yo daughter was raped by her 14yo boyfriend in May (they broke up right after). She told us about it in July. We pressed charges, went through all the proper channels, after her forensic interview were told law enforcement believes her completely but without physical evidence the prosecution won’t pick up the case – and even if they did, all he would get would be therapy.
Another girl also came forward with a similar story. But even with all information, nothing is being done other than a no-contact order at their school.
My anger is extreme as is my husband’s. But we can’t do anything because he’s a minor. Today as I was driving home I spotted him walking down the road and yelled out the window at him “Hey you little rapist”.
He deserves it. He deserves more. But there is no justice.
My mom said I was an asshole for doing that. How he’s a child. How it could turn out badly for me. But honestly? I don’t even care. He needs to know I haven’t forgotten. And I won’t forget.
But… I know my judgment is clouded. So, AITAH?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is experiencing intense, justifiable anger and a profound sense of injustice because the legal system could not pursue charges against the alleged rapist, who is also a minor. The central conflict lies between the parents’ understandable desire for accountability and retribution for their daughter’s trauma and the legal and social constraints placed upon them due to the perpetrator’s age.
Given the OP’s emotionally charged public confrontation, the core question for debate is whether the parents’ immediate need for emotional release and signaling that the victim will not be forgotten justifies public confrontation with a minor, even when official channels have failed, or if this action risks negative personal consequences without achieving meaningful justice.
Here’s how people reacted:
I get the legal restrictions. Rape and sexual assault are notoriously hard to prove and prosecute, and they had no physical evidence, so this was essentially a he said/she said situation, making it even harder. The other girl obviously had no evidence, either. The only good thing, from a legal standpoint, is there’s now a legal paper trail of two girls having come forward with rape allegations against this boy. It’s established a pattern, so if another girl ever comes forward, they may be able to do more, even if he’s still a minor at the time, or they can use the history of allegations to shore up a future case.
Here’s the thing anyone calling you an A H isn’t getting. This boy has raped two girls and gotten away with it both times, and he’s only 14. He already has a pattern of sexual abuse. It’s not a question if if he’ll rape another girl, it’s a question of when. The only ‘if’ in the equation is if his next victims come forward as your daughter and that other girl bravely did. Other than a police investigation, this boy has faced no consequences for what he did. And he needs to, otherwise he’ll never understand that what he did was wrong and could send him to jail.
There’s also the fact that a 14 year old child has raped at least 2 girls. This suggests a very skewed way of viewing both women and sex, and he learned that from somewhere. A fair amount of children who sexually assault others have been sexually abused themselves. At the very least, this boy has a role model who is teaching him to see women as beneath him and as sex objects that exist to pleasure him, and that’s going to destroy his life all on its own. This boy is a not just a rapist but an incel in the making.
He needs to face consequences for what he did, and someone should be investigating his home life, too. I hope the police referred that boy and his family to a social worker who may actually do something. In the meantime, he’s not facing legal consequences, so public exposure and hatred is the only option. I say good for you for understanding that, yes, he’s a child, but that doesn’t mean he gets to escape the consequences of something as serious as rape.
Im 26 now & no you’re not the AH. The police aren’t doing anything, his parents aren’t doing anything. If I had the money, I would buy a fkn billboard and put his picture up with “Rapist” on it.
I feel your anger. Its burning. I think you’re a saint for just yelling at him and nothing more. Your mom sounds like my mom, “always be polite, never make a fuss” mentality.
I know you aren’t asking for this so feel free to ignore this part. But after years of therapy & healing from having my consent taken from me multiple times as a teenager, I would like to give some advice for your daughter. Hugging myself helps a lot. It sounds so stupid & it feels stupid doing it the first few times but it helps so much. Nothing about her has changed, nothing. She is still herself. It might take a little while to know that but it’s true. I wish her healing. ❤️🩹 & as a mother now, Im so sorry. Theres nothing you could have done. Thank you for helping her.
The little shit (let’s call a spade a spade) has ONE thing in his favour, that could hurt you – he’s a minor. By shouting at him, you potentially put yourself in a place, where YOU are the one being prosecuted, and you could end up separated from your daughter from a time – which she definitely doesn’t need right now.
The hardest thing in the world for a parent to do, is to ignore every fibre of our being wanting to ripe apart the person who hurt our kid – bet we HAVE to, or that person wins.
Take that out of the equation, and it would be NTA.
I hope your daughters finds a way to get through, and I wish you both the best.
I don’t blame you whatsoever.
WTF is Law Enforcement & the DA’s office thinking?
He’s only 14 & already has raped 2 girls. (That’s known anyway. )
The fact that he’s so young and already committed sexual violence against 2 girls should be alarming to the Police & and courts. They are only growing that monster inside him because now he knows nothing is gonna happen to him.
He’s going to grow bigger & stronger as he gets older. More violent. Little murderer in the making.
You should be working on destroying his life. Start with his social life and make sure that any girl within 100 miles knows him as a rapist.
Do your worst.
You scream at him every chance you get. He’s a worm.
In my country things would be handled in a different way, but life would scare him(not inciting anything)
Tbh I think you deserve kudos for not swerving your car.