In the aftermath, he faced not only loneliness but also the harsh judgment of being cast as the villain in a story he never wanted to be part of. Yet, from the ashes of that painful past, a new love blossomed—Gabby, who brought light and hope back into his life, culminating in a promise of forever that once seemed impossible.
I (31M) dated Chloe (29F) for 4 years until we broke up 3 years ago. The reason for our split was that Chloe was moving across the country for a great job opportunity, and she basically gave me an ultimatum to either propose and follow her, or break up.
The issue was, I have a business I couldn’t just abandon, and I wasn’t ready to get married anytime soon. Honestly, Chloe and I had been on different pages for a while. Our last year together was full of fights and miscommunication.
Her ultimatum was just the last straw.
A year after we broke up, I started dating Gabby, who is honestly the best thing that’s ever happened to me. We’ve been together for 2 years now, and we’ve been living together for about 5 months.
I proposed to her two weeks ago, and we posted the pics on social media the next day. That’s when all hell broke loose.
Not even 12 hours later, I get a call from Chloe, frantic and screaming at me, calling me a “cheating bastard” (which is completely unfounded), accusing me of stealing her time, and saying I wasted her “fertile years.” She kept going on and on.
I was honestly taken aback and tried to talk to her, but she was just yelling. Eventually, I hung up mid-call.
Since then, I’ve been getting nonstop calls and hateful messages from Chloe’s friends. It’s gotten worse—some people started attacking Gabby on her social media, sending really nasty comments, and wishing harm on her.
Our business has also been getting sketchy bad reviews since this started.
I’m really confused. I went to my mom to vent, and she basically sided with Chloe. She said I should understand that proposing to Gabby so soon after my breakup with Chloe was an asshole move, and that it would definitely reopen old wounds for Chloe.
Hearing this from my mom really messed me up. I ended up leaving her house without saying goodbye, and now I can’t stop thinking about everything. All my friends are on my side, but my mom has always been really close to me and is usually the voice of reason.
I don’t think I did anything wrong, but maybe I’m not seeing something. Gabby is also upset because our happy news has been overshadowed by this mess, and she’s worried about the impact it’s having on her business with all the bad reviews.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is facing significant emotional fallout after announcing his engagement, as his ex-partner, Chloe, and even his own mother, believe his actions were insensitive and hurtful to Chloe. The central conflict lies between the OP’s right to move forward happily with his current relationship and the perceived obligation to minimize the distress caused to his ex-partner regarding the timing of his engagement announcement.
Was the OP wrong for celebrating his happiness without anticipating or mitigating the severe, prolonged reaction from his ex-partner and her circle, especially given his mother’s reaction, or is the responsibility for managing Chloe’s feelings solely hers now that the relationship is long over? The core debate centers on where personal celebration ends and consideration for past partners’ emotional states begins.
Here’s how people reacted:
Your mom’s perspective seems to be based on misplaced empathy for Chloe, but you’re not obligated to put your life on hold because an ex might have unresolved feelings. The fact that you and Chloe weren’t on the same page in your relationship and ultimately broke up because of that should be reason enough for her to let go.
Focus on celebrating your engagement with Gabby, and consider taking steps to block Chloe and her friends from contacting you or damaging your business further. If things escalate, you may need to consider legal action or consulting a professional for advice. Don’t let their negativity overshadow your happiness you’re not in the wrong here. Congratulations on your engagement!
Support Gabby. Report Chloe for harassment. Seek legal advice re the harassment and bad reviews. If you have to send a cease and desist to Chloe that includes connecting you both via 3rd party, than do it. Protect you and Gabby space and businesses.
Take a romantic weekend away for you and Gabby to take back some of the happiness re the engagement.
Also you better speak to your mom. sounds like she still in contact with Chloe by taking her side. You might have to go LC with her too.
Congratulations on your engagement. When you find the one for you,you just know regardless of how much time spent together. Gabby is the one for you so quickly wife her up 🎉
First you haven’t broken uo with Chloe bc you didn’t want to marry. Break up was logical solution to her “my way or highway attitude”. It’s completely understandable that you didn’t feel like marrying incompatibile SO.
You are living your life. Chloe can’t imagine that you didn’t wanted to marry her. She can’t comprehend why you are willing to marry your now fiancee. You never owned Chloe a marriage. Ever. You got together with compatibile partner and that has changed everything…
Chloe is delusional and selfcentered. Your mom is wrong. People date and break up when it’s not working. If Chloe.was feeling she is wasting your time even when you haven’t commited to marry her, she could broke up with you herself way sooner.
As well it’s been years. If she is so eager to have a kid…she could have one now. Oh, maybe because she is going insane bc you have moved on in your life while she haven’t found anyone who would put up with her nonsense.
Just the threat of criminal and legal action should be enough to slam the door on almost all of it. As for your mom, let her know that since she wants to side with Chloe while she harasses you and your fiancé, you’re seriously considering leaving her out of the wedding.
I have seen people in Chloe’s shoes on Reddit too. Chloe’s ultimatum sounds more like a question to see if you were ever serious with her. Betrayed that the guy they are with just strung them along and proposed to someone after them in less time. It’s the stringing along that hurts because women do have less window to have kids and that can be important to someone who is looking to start a family.
I am reserving my judgment. I want to hear what Chloe has to say. Because it can’t be just her crazy when a whole lot of people including your mum sees it. You strung her along.
You never considered marrying her because deep down you knew it wasn’t right. After all, the last year of you both together was toxic.
She chose to run away and was upset that you didn’t heal.
And it would appear that she has been stalking you since.
You’ve done yourself a favour in binning her and good for in finding someone more solvent in Gabby.
The backlash is very childish though and luckily, you can reply to reviews and have them removed for being fake.
Just block anyone trying to contact you or Gabby without responding.
Let the child act like a child.
I would file a police report to get this behavior documented and consult an attorney about the harassment. It’s already gone pretty far, I’d be legit worried about further and/or physical escalation.
Beyond that, mom is super suspicious here. Is she secretly (or not so) hooked on the idea of OP marrying Chloe? Does she hate Gabby? Any chance *she* is in part or in whole behind some of the harrassment?
Clearly, your ex is not over you, but this is not your fault, or your problem to address.
3 years is a long time between relationships, and your mother is out of line for siding with Chloe.
Can you explain this though please ?
>Gabby is also upset because our happy news has been overshadowed by this mess, and she’s worried about the impact it’s having on her business with all the bad reviews.
Are Chloe and her friends posting fake negative reviews on your fiancee’s business page ? If so, that’s unhinged and at this point I’d consider filing a police report of harassment.
But maybe consider why, for Chloe, it feels too soon. She was obviously expecting a future with you and hasn’t properly mourned that loss. She is emotionally unhealthy and could likely benefit from some counseling.
Breakups suck, and there is no exact timeframe for recovering.
If you have any way to send Chloe a message, maybe tell her that, while you aren’t sorry to have moved on with your life, you are sorry she still carries this hurt. It might not change anything but you will know that you’ve tried to be decent to her.
Also please check your mom hard before she makes it so Chloe won’t get married to you (bc who wants to deal with a psycho MIL). Ask her how long you were supposed to be alone before it was okay? 5 years? 10? Did she never want grandchildren? Your ex left you she can kick rocks
I’d suggest a follow up conversation with your mom about how disappointed and betrayed you feel with her lack of support.
You broke up with Chloe **3 years ago*****.*** She is f—ing nuts if she thinks she has any kind of ownership of you, and so is your mother.
And ! Congratulations ! I hope that you and Gabby have a wonderful life together
Then that after an extended period of being single you found a girl who displayed no red flags in her conduct and have acted accordingly.
its not unreasonable to get engaged within a few years of meeting someone.
You broke up… 3 years ago and your ex is across the country. Your mom needs to stop doing drugs.
More seriously:
1- Find comfort in the idea that you dodged a bullet. Your ex is clearly mentally unstable.
2- Consider filing a complaint against her and her friends for harassment.
Basically everything Chloe wasn’t.
Shame about your mother, but I suspect she never cut contact with Chloe and has been telling her there’s a chance for you two to get back together. I think she was defending her own behaviour as much as Chloe.
Chloe sounds like a nutjob, did she only have 4 fertile years or something? What’s she been doing with the three fertile years since y’all broke up? Your mom is an idiot.
Also, congratulations! 🎉
This abuse of the platform is what most likely kills it (eventually).
Go post fake shit somewhere else.
#Three. Years.
Chloe is unhinged. Your mom is horribly misinformed at best.
Best of luck, congrats on the engagement.