This is more than just property lines and fences—it’s a story of community, respect, and the unspoken rules that hold fragile peace together. Here, in this strange patch of land shaped by history and habit, every decision ripples outward, touching relationships and testing the limits of neighborly goodwill. Amidst the laughter and the turf wars, one man stands at the crossroads, unsure if he’s protector or antagonist in his own backyard.
I live in a non English speaking European country and because of history that means land borders between properties are sometimes very weird. Well that is the case with my house and the neighbors, all our houses are about the same size yet out of all the land behind our houses my area is huge I own like 90% of all land there reaching all the way to the woods far behind our houses, meanwhile all my neighbors essentially got tiny strip right behind their houses.
The part right behind my house is fenced off yet the rest is pretty much open and my wife and daughters like to use it for gardening.
The field is used by most of the neighborhood boys to play football on as it is the only flat piece of grassland around they always ask for permission to use it before hand and I always allow it on the condition I get no complaints if I tell them to leave and they don’t litter.
I also recently had a pool installed to the far back of my property and fenced it off, this is important later.
Well this is where the issue starts, recently a new family moved in and they seem to think it is public land. I kept catching their kids running around through the flowers and vegetable garden and they even moved their grill on the field and held a picnic on my land.
I keep telling them off and informing it is my land, but they just ignore me and the kids sometimes wont leave when I tell them to. A month ago the kids even climbed over the fence around the pool and when I got them out and went to their parents they just said “Oh we figured it was a public pool”, I had hoped that was the end of it yet these people build a fire pit in the 3 days I was away from my house and when I got back I found it with a bunch of empty beer cans around.
That was the last straw for me and I hired a company owned by a buddy of mine from when I used to do construction work, bought all the supplies, and 7 days later and a lot of money lighter my entire property was walled off and whenever anyone asked I told them why I was doing that and who they could thank for it.
Well now the new family is treated as if they are a pest and all the neighborhood kids are gutted they lost their football field which has resulted in them picking on the new neighbors kids.
I honestly feel pretty terrible, but I also feel like I gave them plenty of warnings before taking drastic actions.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) felt conflicted, believing they had given sufficient warnings before taking final action to secure their property. The central conflict rests on the OP’s assertive enforcement of private property rights versus the new neighbors’ persistent, disrespectful encroachment, which ultimately led to the neighbors being socially isolated by the wider community.
Was the OP justified in taking the drastic, expensive measure of walling off the entire property after initial verbal warnings failed, or did this action unfairly punish the entire neighborhood and escalate a dispute unnecessarily? Readers must weigh the right to privacy against the social consequences of such a definitive boundary enforcement.
Here’s how people reacted:
You admit that building the fence screwed over the well behaved kids.
You also made the bad neighbors pariahs (not a problem per se). That suggests you had another option to influence their behavior before building a wall – social pressure. If you had put up “no trespassing signs” and told everyone that no one is allowed on your property because of those neighbors, the social pressure might have caused them to get their kids under control. (As an aside this would have been cheaper than the fence.)
You went with the expensive and irreversible option, and screwed over the well behaved kids. ESH. Can you give the good kids access to your new fenced backyard?
Its good the other neighbors dont blame you and that really shows even they think nta. These kids parents are either dumb or irresponsible.
Perhaps if there is still enough open room in the yards to play, you can let the good kids play(indoor soccer with walls is a smaller field often and a lot of fun) and you can maybe give the new kids a couple of chances if they follow your instructions(maybe they have learned their lesson) and if not then just dont let them join
I mean yeah perhaps the kids are assholes but no more than you’d expect most kids to be at that age. It’s very much a “this is why we can’t have nice things” situation which is a shame.
Is it possible for the other kids to still play football there if they ask beforehand? That could be a working compromise.
The pool incident alone was a huge safety hazard. Imagine if the kids drowned! You’d be up to your neck in lawsuits. The fire pit was also dangerous too as they could’ve put the land on fire.
You need to protect yourself financially and legally first before feeling pity
You could always install a gate, and let some kids in to play football and such, if you felt bad about it. (You don’t have to at all).
And
This is why we can’t have nice things.
They abused your generosity and were shocked when you’d had enough?
Talk about entitlement.
Please tell me more.
NTA.