Caught in the crossfire of blended families and unspoken tensions, their love is tested daily by the awkward realities of living under one roof with those who once encouraged their union but now seem to view it through a lens of discomfort. In the midst of it all, the young couple struggles to hold onto their truth, facing the painful sting of judgment and the challenge of defining their own happiness.
My girlfriend and I were childhood friends turned high school/college sweethearts. We are both 20 now and have been dating since we were 14. We are both commuter students at the same state college, so we still live at home.
The same home. Because our parents are married. It’s my mom and her dad. Both divorced when they met, you can imagine the rest. When we were in HS we begged them not to date because of exactly this reason.
Weirdly enough, while they were just dating they were totally fine with my girlfriend and I being together, but it pretty much changed immediately when they got married last year and moved in together.
Honestly, I hate being in this situation. Even though I know there is nothing wrong with us, it needles me every time my mom says “go tell your sister x”. I think she is doing it on purpose to get under my skin.
My (real) dad thinks the situation is hilarious and his view basically boils down to “What did you expect from the crazy bitch?” but I see him infrequently and our living situation would be very bad if we moved in with him (drugs) so that isn’t an option.
My girlfriend’s bio mom has not been in the picture for her whole life, so that’s not an option either. We can’t afford to get our own place until we graduate.
This living situation is driving us crazy, but we want to ride it out until we’ve graduated and have jobs and can get our own place, or a place with roommates. Our parents have become laser focused on breaking us up, calling us brother and sister at every opportunity and lecturing us about how disgusting it is, asking us aren’t we embarrassed that our friends know, saying that it’s not anyone’s fault that they got married first and this is just the way it has to be.
I love this girl and have spent my life with her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I just can’t stomach breaking up when *we* are fine and it is this bizarre outside circumstance trying to drive a wedge between us.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) and his long-term girlfriend are experiencing significant emotional distress due to their parents’ marriage, which has suddenly placed them in the awkward and uncomfortable position of living together as step-siblings. Despite their strong relationship and commitment to each other, the consistent pressure, verbal reminders of their new familial ties, and outright hostility from their parents regarding their dating relationship are causing severe strain.
The central question remains whether it is inappropriate for two committed adults to continue a relationship while living under the same roof as their newly married parents, especially when the external pressure, rather than their own feelings, is the primary threat. Can the relationship survive this imposed familial structure, or does the unique living arrangement necessitate a separation for the sake of peace or propriety?
Here’s how people reacted:
When she pulls the “sister” card, act dumb.
“my sister?? who? Oh! you mean my girlfriend”
“sister..? mom.. do I have a sibling you haven’t told me about?!?”
Now onto her ranting. that’s projection. she’s projecting the disgust onto you two to cope and belittle her awful boundary stomp. Her saying that you’re dating your “sibling” takes the focus off the fact that you two are legally siblings because SHE married your spouses dad.
right now you’re gonna have to tough it out and show her you don’t care. But save money to move, make plans and deadlines so that you can get out of there with or without your gf. the boundary stomp and projection are abusive traits.
and for validation sake, the rest of the world thinks your mom and her dad are the gross ones.
Your mum and her dad- YTA
There’s no need for you and her to breakup. It’s a tough ride but keep going. At the end of the day you’re in a relationship with her and you love her.
If you broke up because of your parents then you will regret it for the rest of your life. You would not be happy that you broke up with someone who meant so much to you to keep someone else happy.
You are not bad, your parents are for treating you this way.
You were dating before they were. It’s not YOUR fault due to their relationship they have made you siblings. Completely non blood related siblings.
It sounds like the best thing you both can do is work hard, save up, and move out at the first available moment to avoid their nastiness.
Them: Where were you?
You: Oh, just up railing my sister
Realistically, you guys were together before they were. You would be more in the right to ask them to get divorced than for them to ask you to separate!
Go to a registry office and marry your girlfriend, then only refer to her dad as “my father-in-law” in front of your mum