AITA for getting my daughter a better laptop than my son?

In a household where technology is both a tool and a test, a father’s patience is stretched thin by the repeated carelessness of his son. Despite multiple chances and replacements, the son’s inability to keep a laptop intact contrasts sharply with the daughter’s careful stewardship, igniting a silent tension beneath the surface of everyday life.

Caught between fairness and practicality, the father’s decision to reward responsibility over recklessness stirs a painful accusation of favoritism. In this quiet battle of broken devices and broken trust, love is questioned, and the fragile balance of family bonds is put to the ultimate test.

AITA for getting my daughter a better laptop than my son?

My son and daughter are both 17. I got both of them great laptops 4 years ago that should have lasted until now. My son broke his just a year after they were bought. I would’ve made him get one of the low quality laptops that their school issues, but my mom got him a new one.

He broke that one too in just 2 years. After that, I made him get one from his school. A few days ago, that one broke. I paid the school for it and decided to get him a used laptop that will be enough for school but not too expensive.

My daughter’s has worked fine until now. Last week, my 7 year old spilled water on it and it doesn’t work anymore. I’m getting her a pretty expensive new laptop because she hasn’t broken any electronics before and it wasn’t her fault.

My son saw that she’s getting a better laptop than him and he said that I’m being unfair. I told him that he’s destroyed 3 laptops in 4 years and money doesn’t grow on trees. He said that I’m picking favorites, and I love her more than him.

I said that he can get a better one with his own money when he starts working. Am I the asshole?

Here’s how people reacted:

toomany_geese

Teenagers are unreasonable little assholes. If you really want to drive the point home, sit him down and list out the total amount of $ that you/grandma has spent on buying him replacement laptops, that HE broke, and show him how much bigger that number is, compared to the amount of $ you spent buying your daughter a new laptop. Then tell him that if anything, you have been favouring him over your daughter for being willing to buy him replacement laptops in the first place. NTA

endlessotter

NTA — This is an important lesson for your son in caring for his items, but I think you could go a step further and make it a formalized rule. Something like I will pay for a nice laptop once every five years, but if you break it within that window, you get the cheap replacement. Laptops, phones, other expensive equipment should last more than a year. Also, I’m guessing the total cost of all his replacement laptops is equal to or less than his sister’s new laptop?

Ginger_brit93

NTA although your son is finding it harsh on him you’re teaching him actions have consequences and in this case the consequence is he doesn’t get new and expensive stuff like his sister who does take care of her things. Maybe if its such an issue you can broker a deal with him e.g. if you keep the laptop in good condition for x amount of time he’ll get a new one.

inzillah

NTA – tell him you had a laptop budget for each of them and he’s already spent all of his budget but she hasn’t. He’s got to learn a lesson about taking care of your belongings somehow – in the adult world if you break your laptop by being a dumbass, you have to pay for a new one yourself and you’ve got to save to buy the higher-quality brands, too. Stay strong!

Ok_Constant571

NTA. Time for a basic math lesson OP. Show your son the cost of his multiple laptops over the last four years. Then tell him he can shut it, or he can get on a payment plan to help pay you back for all the other laptops…and when he pays up, you will happily purchase him an expensive one. As his very last parental-paid laptop ever.

kokoroutasan

NTA: and omg thank you for trying to teach him to be responsible for electronics. I work in IT, the number of laptops that mysteriously started dying when everyone went WFH has been ridiculous. My favorite was the “I have no clue it just stopped turning on” ‘well why does it smell like Chai tea?’ “Oh…. you can tell??”

laurenthelyon

NTA. Not everyone has parents who can/would buy them laptops at all. He should be thankful for what he has and more careful with what he is given. My parents never could have bought me a laptop when I was a kid, and if they did spring for one you bet your ass I would have taken care of it like a child.

MiaouMiaou27

NTA. Your daughter has proven she can take care of expensive electronics and you can expect the new laptop to see her through college. If your son wants to compare computers with his sister, tell him it’s not fair that he’s already had four laptops and his sister has only had one.

jaabir1994

If you buy him an expensive laptop (more durable, waterproof and future proof etc), it’ll probably last just as long as his sisters new laptop. Its like Having a 4.0l V8 vs 1.0l I3. 4.0l V8 will handle abuse like a champ. The 1.0l I3 will prolly die from normal driving….

thefr0stypenguin0

INFO: Did your son just break the laptops from carelessness? Was he the only one in the family to use it?

If the answers to the above are yes: NTA. Your daughter has proven she knows how to take care of her expensive necessary items and your son has not.

RedditDK2

Nta – your son continually breaks his machines. Your daughter, on the other hand, takes good care of what she is given. Of course you trust her more. Not only that, but in total I am sure you have spent more on your son’s machines.

KhalDrogHeaux

NTA. why would you buy him an expensive laptop when he’s broken every other one he’s had up to this point? he can get a better laptop with his own money and maybe then he will learn how to take care of his belongings.

redditor191389

Edit for judgement: NTA, your son has proven himself to be reckless with expensive technology, seriously how do you even drop a laptop down the toilet??

I n f o: how did each of the laptops break?

0biterdicta

NTA. Add up the cost of the laptops that have had to been purchased because he broke the others so he can see how much has been spent on him.

justobsolete

NTA stop buying him laptops altogether, tbh. He can save up money and buy his own. Perhaps then he will learn to respect these belongings.

GeminiStarbright

I’m going to repeat my husband here

“Buy him a desktop and bolt it to his desk” At least then he cant drop it in the toilet???

TeamSandersHRE

~~NTA. But it was your daughter’s fault. Also why does a 7 year-old need an expensive laptop?~~

Edit: I am a fool 🙁

Conclusion

The parent is facing a conflict rooted in perceived favoritism after their son, who has a history of damaging electronics, reacted negatively to receiving a lesser replacement laptop compared to his sister. The central issue lies in the parent’s attempt to enforce financial responsibility based on past actions while the son interprets this as unfair treatment and a sign of unequal affection.

Is the parent justified in linking the quality of the replacement device directly to the son’s history of carelessness, or does differentiating the replacement based on fault unfairly prioritize the daughter’s needs and exacerbate the son’s feeling of being unloved? The core debate centers on whether repair/replacement decisions should focus solely on need or also incorporate accountability for past negligence.