Yet, despite his efforts, tension brews as the demands of safety and security clash with the fragile quiet the baby requires. When asked to delay parking his car late at night due to noise, he faces an impossible choice—between protecting his prized vehicle from thieves and respecting the neighbor’s plea—unfolding a silent struggle where empathy, fear, and frustration collide in the stillness of the night.
My garage is about 3 metres away from my neighbour’s bedroom where their baby sleeps. I’ve got a roller door which beeps quietly four times within 20 seconds of me arriving home and pushing the button.
It’s so quiet that at times I can’t hear it when sitting in the room adjacent to the garage when my partner comes home.
Since my neighbour had her baby, I’ve made an effort to be more considerate of noise. Despite already sound proofing my rumpus room, I’ve stopped playing my drums after 6pm. I’ve also declined hosting friends outside in my backyard due to noise.
I think I’ve been more than considerate, but apparently not.
I get home from work at 11pm and put my car away. A couple weeks ago my neighbour approached me and asked if I could wait until the morning to put my car away, but I declined as there have been break ins to cars on our street lately.
My car is also one that is targeted by thieves a lot as parts are expensive, and it’s an enthusiasts car. I apologised but was firm when telling her that I will not, under any circumstances, leave my car out overnight.
I also know that they sleep with their window open that faces my garage, but I thought it would be weird to bring it up and suggest they close the window.
I’m also confused, as I have an after market exhaust on the car which is louder than the original but they have nothing to say about it. A couple nights ago I came home to her husband’s car blocking my driveway just enough that I couldn’t get my car through.
It was kind of useless because I pushed the button before I even reached my driveway, so it beeped anyway. They didn’t come out so I had their car towed and they haven’t done it since.
Today (Saturday) I decided to play my drums around lunch time in my sound proofed rumpus room. You can only hear minimal vibration from the kick from the outside, but it’s at the rear of my property and quite far away from any neighbours but they still had something to say.
The wife came over and basically said she had put up with my noise for long enough and that she was exhausted due to the kid never sleeping thanks to the noise I make.
I was definitely still miffed about the driveway blocking situation from the other night and snapped a little, telling her that I’d been considerate enough and already made concessions in terms of noise.
I said that while it’s within my right to play music up until 10pm in our council, I’ve cut myself off at 6pm in consideration of her and her kid. I said that from now on she’ll have to get over it because I was done catering to her and her family.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) feels they have made significant sacrifices regarding noise levels to accommodate their new neighbors and their baby, leading to a sense of frustration and a decision to stop compromising. The central conflict is between the OP’s right to use their property (including parking their car securely and playing music at reasonable hours) and the neighbors’ expectation that the OP should adhere to stricter quiet hours due to their infant’s sleep schedule.
Given the escalation from a quiet garage door beep to blocking a driveway, where does the responsibility for maintaining neighborly peace lie when one party feels they have already made substantial concessions while the other seems to demand absolute silence? Is the OP justified in ceasing all voluntary noise restrictions, or is there a middle ground that respects both property rights and the neighbor’s urgent need for sleep?
Here’s how people reacted:
Here’s a suggestion:
Write a polite, concise note telling them the concessions you’ve made – soundproofing, not playing drums past 6PM, etc – and letting them know that you don’t think their additional demands are reasonable. You might tell them that you’re willing to discuss the situation, calmly, to see whether there are any options for compromise, but you aren’t enthusiastic after the way they’ve approached you up to now.
Also, I wouldn’t be surprised if the new mother wasn’t experiencing some degree of post-partum depression, or even psychosis. Attacking someone at midday for what you say is normal noise levels sounds … off.
Finally, one word about noise: it can travel in weird patterns. The small beeps that you can barely hear inside your house might be amplified in their bedroom. The soundproofing might have missed some critical point that causes it to be much louder elsewhere. It might be worth taking measurements of the sound at various points, just so you can back up your side with metrics.
She’s being extremely unreasonable. Good luck
Lunch time and even early evening are perfectly reasonable times to play drums in a sound dampened room. If you can get the decibel level tested outside when you play your drums just to make sure it’s not louder than you think.
I had a neighbor once that complained about the sound of someone walking by with grocery bags, not even talking. Such a fun neighbor that one.
Not that it’s a good excuse but she probably is exhausted and this is one of those “need something to blame” kind of things. She is probably fixated on you and your “noise” because it’s something that’s right next door and something she can directly “attack” in a manner of speaking.
It sounds as if she’s unlucky enough to have one of those babies that just doesn’t sleep much, or well. That’s not your fault though.
If they were on the forum I would suggest constant noise, helped without first to sleep.